Ok but why he did this bros

Guy just enjoys being evil, respectable.

Be desert man

Life is hard

Don't even get to rule the desert because some fucking nigger furry (not the other way around) is the king of everything

Learn that the giant kidney stones him and his wife have give people superpowers

Honestly I would have done the same if I were him. I don't want a nigger or a furry ruling over me.

not banging the furry women

He coveted that wind, I suppose.

"I coveted the wind, I suppose..."

lonely fart sounds

it was funny.

Let me show you my POWER

Heheh, scared? Well that was just an illusion. My real fight is much lamer...

God forbid this game has cool shit and not just trailer bullshot fodder. Too bad Link doesn't get sent to the past instead of Zelda.

Rauru verbally acknowledging on-screen that Dorf is evil and then proceeding to do nothing about him until after Sonia gets her spine annihilated is the worst yet also the funniest plot point in a Zelda game.

demon king?

secret stone?

Whoever wrote for the cutscenes in BotW + TotK should be ashamed. Fucking awful and stale all around.

He was so op in the beginning but ends up being the easiest end boss in a zelda game

Monolithsoft takes over development

story goes to shit

oh wow, who could've seen this coming?

he's grinning because holy shit, it really was THAT easy

zelda and the queen were both just being retarded

Most of the time Ganondork gets the upper hand of someone being retarded.

Zelda just got done dealing with a 100+ year long ordeal with Calamity Ganon

Gets sent back into the past after a disaster regarding a withered corpse under the castle

In the past she learns theres a guy called GANONdorf

Fucking nigger walks in with a prefix of the thing that destroyed the kingdom

"Yeah Rauru I'd just watch out if I was you I just sense something evil about him"

"Yeah let's just be weary of him for now and act if he acts"

I don't get how this Zelda is the most scholarly of them all while also being the stupidest by a country mile.

mfw I drop a silent, but deadly fart in a crowded elevator

there's a reason all the goddesses rejected her in botw and only gave her some last minute desperation pity power because they had no choice with everyone else dead or dying.

Her thing is sucking at being the princess of destiny. Dont bully her.

secret stones were conceptualized as dragon embryos

Why did they cut all the neat world building shit?

trailers and cutscenes played guardians up as massive threatening death machines

in-game they can be made to kill themselves with a literal slab of tree bark and some good timing

link only lost because he for whatever fucking reason refused to carry a shield before the calamity despite being the princess' bodyguard

Maybe this Hyrule deserved to be razed, they're all bordering on too stupid to breathe.

it doesn't help her dad panicked and started being a shithead to her instead of leveling "man i dunno how this works but we've gotta do something" keeping him alive in age of calamity was genuinely bad writing, even with it being an "everyone survives" wish fulfillment anime arc

Hola! Suavemente!

this.

ganon really does just fall into his schemes

Oot: let's a little kid open the Temple of Time for him

WW: Gets to get the triforce with no one stopping him

TP: Tricks some whining idiot into freeing him from prison

Fuck man i almost erased this version of him from my mind and you had to go and ruin it, fuck you nigga

Monolith had nothing to do with the shit story and shit writers of who wrote it dick'ed. Zelda writers wish they could write anything as good as Monolithsoft

Mothers dies so no one can teach her how to deal with her powers

This is why families keep sacred scrolls with traditions and shit.

Dunno what that would have actually added to the story, they went with the angle that dragons are immortal, mysterious and insanely magical but basically mindless

The entire reason Demise's curse even exists comes from Hylia/Zelda's retarded self made prophecy of where Zelda has to make herself easy kidnap bait for Ghirahim after Link had already killed Demise with the Triforce. Not that TotK/BotW is even canon to begin with but the point is Zelda is a fucking idiot that's the cause of almost every plot of him rising to power.

Dude, you had the Triforce of Wisdom and STILL fell for the absolute simplest shit!

Zelda's writers are just shit mate, got nothing to do with Monolith Soft.

I remember thinking how cool and scary guardians were before learning you could parry lasers. That felt like a mistake on Nintendo's part. Still they can be pretty tough when there's a swarm of them I guess. They remain my favorite Zelda enemy despite their exploitable weakness.

Then TotK got rid of them and replaced them with gloom hands and cave goblins, neither which were as impressive.

Only an idiot would blame Monolith for the shitshow of a story. There seems to be a LOT that got left on the cutting room floor for whatever reason.
Those four cut and pasted cutscenes were unforgivable.

gloom hands ... neither of which were as impressive

Gloom hands still make me completely shit myself if I don't have the right tools to deal with them. They're insanely more threatening than Guardians when you're not prepared (even accounting for parry cheese rendering Guardians a non-issue) and of a similar threat level when you are.

Totk's story was outsourced to Qualia Writers. It was not written by anyone at nintendo.

gloom hands

One of the weirdest 'new' enemies in the game.
They're not new at all, this is just a group of floormasters.

1. botw had no floormasters. And we hadn;t had any in 3d zeldas since Ww.
2. getting 5 on your arse is a pretty big threat especially when they can seal off your hp.