This movie is absolutely BTFOing the Mario Movie sadly

What did you do after?

Jack Black sold the world on A Minecraft Movie simply by saying 'I... Am Steve' with a silly dramatic intonation, and 300 million dollars of marketing by career advertising professionals could not sell the world on Disney's Snow White.

Like it or not this man has POWER

This is the part where we're old. Mario is more iconic but he's also more "Mickey Mouse iconic" than anything.
20 years ago Mickey Mouse was clearly the most iconic character but any given child would much rather have Spongebob.
For the Mario movie, the average theater was infamously far more full of nostalgic millennials and some older zoomers while Minecraft is now infamously full of brainrotted gen Alphas who scream along to everything Jack Black says

For what its worth, its funnier than Mario or Sonic, but Sonic 3 is best of recently just for the spectacle of trying to adapt Sonic Adventure 2 autism.

Cope!

Kids most love Jack Black very much.

So basically.
The way to make guaranteed money in Hollywood would be to make a film that puts Jason Momoa, Jack Black and Chris Pratt together?

Not you again

Yes that's what you're doing tendie

It's not about them, it's about the IP

Mario is the same fucking thing but for a slightly different generation.

It’s about them AND the IP. And yeah, kids love Jack Black. I’m 28 and to be fair I loved him as a kid as well, one of the few things I share with gen alphas

Gen Alpha don't even know who Jack Black is

Mario just can't catch a break this week Lmfao

The Oldest Gen alpha is 14 years old. There's Gen Alpha who were certainly around browsing youtube and consooming during Jack Black's JablinskiGames era.

it was so bad. the movie and the whole experience. took my kids.

theatre in my city hasn't been packed since avengers age of ultron, wasn't packed for minions or mario or anything

was packed for this

so packed that a number of zoomers left, deciding on trying a later showing

the zoomers in our showing had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of every openly stated minecraft item or concept, saying it loudly with the characters on-screen then applauding loudly but with no cheering or hollering, just mass applause

was a shock the first time and funny the next two times but that was within like 20 mins the movie has so fucking many of them

idk why it specifically is such a meme but the say-along and applause for the chicken jockey part was absurd, like half of them only did that part, and loads of them took pics and videos

movie was ass, momoa was somehow the only one bringing any entertaining energy to his lines and delivery despite looking like... that

momoa's character is the only one with any depth and motivation, and something i guess you could consider to be growth

snood adds NOTHING, lisping boy is just a super thin "the real world doesn't like creativity" angle, the black woman adds a black woman and i wish i was joking, her whole reason for being there is to add sassy utterances

movie opens with a minecraft worldgen loading screen almost ripped straight from the game and uses sounds straight from the game in a lot of places, but avoids using any unaltered visual minecraft assets in any way after that, even with stuff like the heart reactions coming off animals

jack black instantly blabbing about 'the overworld' which never once feels right as a way to label the minecraft world/dimension

jack black overdid it, even by jack black standards, songs were pure hamming it up nonsense

big plot is pigs want to destroy the creative overworld (and get gold) but they zombify in the sun, so they need the special macguffin to make it perma-night

(cont..1/2)

(2/2)

immediately after asserting this, multiple pigs go out in the daytime and raid steve's village, no problem. they are lead on this raid by "big chungus" a soft-talking but really strong piglin that has history with steve (but that affects nothing)

momoa's character is famous for playing a streets of rage type arcade game really well and then makes a minecraft SoR-like at the end of the movie, revitalising his career as a gamer guy, nothing notch-like in the movie at all

jarringly obvious when something was a physical prop vs.CG'd in

murder is somehow very violent and mean spirited in the movie yet they use the word 'unalive' at least once

the villager and school vice principal romance subplot was completely unneeded and it was essentially 5 scenes all making the same joke, with a 'master of disguise'-tier credits scene wrapping it up

one joke that i'm a sucker for at the end of the movie, where jack black was playing off his costar and having an actual scene instead of being a retard: bad pig lady says 'come closer' while dying and steve calls her out on trying to stab him, she insists she won't, tries to, has her dagger easily slapped away, does this twice more with steve getting more impatient and dismissive each time, one last weak throw of the knife is her dying action that felt like a scene from nacho libre or something

overall just very wierd and hard to enjoy. kinda funny seeing the finished versions of workprint scenes that have been posted here

KEK sounds kino ngl anon

Postin' on chan

imagine any other actor shouting 'CHICKEN JOCKAYYY'
the movie would have flopped. He is Cinema.

snoys like you are gonna cry when Switch 2 first week sales come out, I'm hyped

Sonic 3 was genuinely pretty good by video game movie standards not gonna lie. Was basically a DBZ movie by the end

lol

Steve and Minecraft is simply less iconic than Mario

This is insane cope, Minecraft has sold more than every Mario game ever released.

say mcdonalds to continue the movie

MCDONALDS

wow kino - you

Grim.

A Mariotard is gonna pop in to explain how Mario allegedly isn't autistic

Kind of disingenuous, one's the strongest brand in video games and the other is a movie even the studio wanted not to release so they could've kept the Lion King prequel running longer.

Mario as a series is way more important and influential than anything Minecraft has ever put out

Jim Carrey.

Minecraft has sold more than every Mario game ever released.

Mario as a series has sold 3x as many copies as Minecraft. Super Mario series alone has sold more than Minecraft.

The Mario movie wasn’t all that let’s just be honest. It’s a very by the numbers kids movie with bare minimum writing. Makes sense considering it was made by Illumination, a studio known for painfully average kids movies that do the bare minimum yet somehow make billions at the box office.
I guess it was fun for the novelty value of it being an official super Mario movie made by a big studio buy it doesn’t exactly translate to rewatch value.
The jokes and memes people were making about it like that one “ARGHHH MY FIREBALLS!!!” copypasta sounded more fun than what we got ironically enough.
also the sonic movies are significantly better films than Mario will ever be and no this is not up for debate

I love Mario but the movie was just ok. But that's ok since they can improve the next one coming in a year's time

Download and open the Youtube Kids app right now. There's your relevant "influence".

there was so much filler content. jack blacks giant opening dialogue about being a child who yearned for the mines (actually says that). the whole establishing segment where all you learn about snood (who looks to be like, 13 years old but is an adult legal guardian of lispchild brother, and working in an adult, leadership role at food processing plant) and lispchild's mother dying and them moving to a new town as their mother's dying wish. there is almost as much screentime given to tater tots as snood.

they spend a lot of time just talking about what happened, what they're doing, and what should happen next like every scene is adapted from a 6th grader's english assignment. this is especially bad when they are standing or walking in front of a whole lot of CG stuff they aren't reacting to. there's a large plot point about finding a replacement macguffin adapter in a woodland mansion, but that is such a nothingburger. lispchild skips a whole floor, sees none of the dark wizards mentioned in the scene prior that should have been on the 2nd floor, opens a dozen chests to show off fancy CG versions of minecraft items, and then gets caught by an enderman briefly before whaling on it because it tried to brainbreak him by taking his creativity.
JB and momoa do a sideshow where they play music and then pro wrassle to distract a horde of axe guys

lots of pointless crud making the handful of noteworthy scenes stand out, and a lot of the noteworthy scenes felt real bad in context

Didnt Mario make over 1 billion?

There's two types of millennials. The ones who are out of touch and insist kids shouldn't be liking this slop but instead slop based on their childhood IPs like Sonic and Mario.
And then the millennials who have kids who know exactly why kids are eating up this movie.

so this is an unofficial sequel to pixels

Wow, it took Mario 40+ games to match the power of one single game. Truly an accomplishment. If you asked people 25 and below, who do they prefer, 90% of zoomers would pick Steve over Mario. Mario is regarded more as a legacy character.

Yes but that was in the long run. But this is beating Mario's first week sales by a large margin

If you include mario tennis, mario shuffleboard, mario typing tutor, mario mario mario

No shit with all the mario shovelware combined it sold more. That’s why mario is king of slop, while steve, with just one game almost btfoing the entire combined sales, stands above him.

it has that feel to it yeah

[European siren wails in the distance]

Perhaps so, but Minecraft was the 2000s answer to Mario and has risen to comparable heights in half the time and with less games.
Albeit, Mario has tons of very good to great games and Minecraft has a great game and varying degrees of branded shovelware that remind me of Spore's attempts at branching out.

name branding sells

color me unsurprised

influential

I doubt it.
Nintendo was so strongly influenced by Minecraft that it adopted Minecraft features in all its main games, including Mario. Now Nintendo is releasing a Donkey Kong whose theme is literally mining".

The only genuine postive feed I've heard about this movie is literal zoomer cunts clapping when they say a line that was in the trailer like 'chicken jockey'. Otherwise it seems bland rather than bad.

truth nuke

theatre full of zoomers normal and rather quiet when something with momoa or JB + the pig witch is happening

by the halfway point if it's clear the scene is just emma myers and the black realtor talking, the zoomers are loudly shuffling snack wrappers and murmuring to one another

Is he Jewish?

I've seen them both.

Mario is meh.
Minecraft was awful.

Lmao tendies and their mario worship

kino alert

I think Mario 2 will be launching alongside the 3D Mario next year, so the hype should exceed anything we've ever seen before

jason momoa watches jennifer coolidge rattle off a bunch of insane woman stuff, looks her up and down and says "the guy who divorced you is a total idiot", that was out of left field and had me chuckling

there's a couple alright lines like that. but they are BURIED in crap

It was all around horrible, nothing like the game. Also too many pointing out something that exists in the game and shouting it's name. Of course "It's Mine craft.... but for all of you" was just too cheesy.

it feels like Morbius again, but this time the children actually go watch the movie after meming on it.

i cannot believe that "first we mine, then we craft, let's MINECRAFT" was a real line

that is equivalent to "it's morbin time"

jack blacks giant opening dialogue about being a child who yearned for the mines (actually says that

im actually crying from laughter

hivemorb

it was incredible. there was like 5 moments where i said "they actually did it"

My favorite bit was with the piglin villain repeatedly trying to stab Steve at the end other then that pretty unfunny.

Generational BTFO

They like Jack Black because grown ups have told them that he's a funny guy. Kids get their opinions from grown ups. That's why established franchises are so valuable; parents will tell their kids about the things they liked, so the kids will be new customers except they won't have any developed standards so will swallow any slop put in front of them.

See: Breath of the Wild.

yeah that was one of the few times two characters had a dynamic and played it off each other to good effect. it was refreshing to have things try and end on that note

AIEEEEEEEEE FAMITSU SALES THREAD SAVE MEEEEE!!!!

KEK cope Tendie. I'm a PChad btw.

That doesnt mean it has lasting power like Mario

for future reference, that other anon wanted you to reply saying you had sex with your sister.

Not necessarily. But this is still the biggest video game opening ever, by a large margin. And I'm hearing a lot more noise around it too.

RTX4090

21:9 1440p

FAT GAMER CHAIR

STALKER 2

You are not enjoying your games as much as tendies are. You have spend your entire fortunate on it and all you do is play this, PUBG, Escape from Tarkov or Counter Strike.

no new 3D Mario

Mariokart fell for the open world meme

switch 2 will be $700 after tariffs

now Minecraft chads are mogging our illumination slop

mariobros, this has been a HORRIBLE week for us…

Zoomie slop enjoyed by manchildren and kids. but when Mario does it *gasp*

I think the logic behind the piglin daylight thing is they have a potion made of Nether Wart that is supposed to keep them from being zombified, and they live in the Nether so you would assume they could always just make more. The problem is they imply that's the only flask of it they had left, so they all take tiny sips before the village raid and you'd assume there would be very little left after that, but then the sorceress and a different group of piglins fly in during the daylight later and don't burn up and it's never explained why. I don't think there even is a potion like that in Minecraft, they steer away from the source material pretty frequently for plot convenience.

Why didn't Steve fuck the slampig into a moaning mess?

Oh god. Vidyashit is gonna be the new capes hit isn't it. Smash bros the movie will become avengersshit will it?

There's seething in this thread already about this incredibly apparent truth. There's a reason "chicken jockey", "flint and steel" and the rest of his trailer quotes became instant meme material

I just wonder if notch has seen it and what did he thought about it.

CHICKEN JOCKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

thought capeshit finally ended and hollywood would start making good original movies again

they just make video game shit now

sigh

It's the new trend. Sonic 1 was the first one to prove it like Iron Man in 2008. Then everyone decided to green light vidya movies

oh yeah
it hasn't even begun yet.
Expect such groundbreaking film concepts such as "Call of Duty", "Fortnite: The Movie" and "God of War" all in the same year

At least capeshit is gone for good. MCU is so bad now even normalfags want nothing to do with it.

How the fuck do you even make a movie about Minecraft? It has no story to work with.

it was a coordinated trend. we got need for speed, uncharted, sonic, detective pikachu, and confirmation of an upcoming mario movie all in a relatively narrow timeframe

Anon Babble ASSURED me that children were done with jack black's tired antics and wanted quality dialogue and sincere writing.
wtf happened?

you make it

a 'follow your dreams' story

a 'coming of age' story

a 'fish out of water' story

a 'chase the macguffins' story

an 'impending invasion' story

all at once

That's why they just took the standard isekai plot and put it in the Minecraft world.

Were 2 and 3 better than the 1st one?

It was such a good movie though. Very funny. 10/10.

yes. each movie is more sonic and less filler material

Yeah 3 is actually pretty good. The other 2 are decent time wasters.

NINJA ROLL

Another Anon Babble failure...

I guess the plus side is this movie will basically soften the blow if Superman doesn't do as well as WB wants it to.

Youre honestly stupid if you didnt see this coming after Sonic and Mario doing well. And unlike capshit, you can theoretically to a lot more varied movies. Like a Metroid movie could be a cool sci-fi/light horror movie. Will they do this? Lmao fuck no, but the potential is there

biggest videogame brand with the biggest vidya icon backed by giga tillionaires does better than indie bing bing wahoo chink shit

zoomers

not alphanoids

Boomers are genuinely, unironically angry that zoomers are having fun with Minecraft and not their favorite childhood series of choice like Mario. Sorry for not taking ourselves so seriously and trying to find some joy in this incredibly dogshit economic climate. Anyway. CHICKEN JOCKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

La-la-la-lava
Ch-ch-ch-chicken
Steve's Lava Chicken, yeah
It's tasty as hell
Ooh, mamacita, now you're ringin' the bell
Crispy and juicy, now you're havin' a stack
Ooh, super spicy, it's a lava attack!

Minecraft movie is actually good compared to the mario movie. Huge difference there.

sadly

Why do you care? Are you fucking ten?

Steve's Lava Chicken

At least post the song tard
youtube.com/watch?v=z2CRZHZW7ag

Because this slop doesn't deserve to outsell an iconic franchise like Mario at all.

What if Jack Black was Inspector Gadget

The DK game is Wreck-it Ralph, the influence is blindingly obvious.

Cope