Entire pc gaming industry is held up by one 62 year old fat greasy large morbidly obese autistic fat plump tubby...

entire pc gaming industry is held up by one 62 year old fat greasy large morbidly obese autistic fat plump tubby octuple-chinned fat voluptuous curvaceous thick sweaty fat lardlord blubberball fatass fat lardass fat fuck

what happens to the industry when eats that final double bacon quarter pounder with cheese, Anon Babbleros?

console peasant uprising, we will finally unseat and surpass them

he's a big boi

first mover advantage

it would take all of you to lift him an inch out of his seat

Consoles dominate the market much more heavily after his death. I don’t think anyone can do what Gabe Newell does. If you ask me, anyone else will make Steam worse

He's not fat anymore

heh

Steam will die without fatty fat fat.

The Jews have this concept called the 36 Tzadikim. Basically it says that at any time there are 36 jews who are so selfless, noble, and holy that because they exist God will allow the other jews to escape his divine punishment. Those 36 individuals have no idea they are the ones that keep the righteous anger of the rest of the world from falling upon their people, as they are so noble they don't even see the way they live as anything special or worthy of praise.

Gaben is one of the Tzadikim to me. A lot of the time I think to myself that the world would be a much better place without the jews, but then I remember Gaben exists and I am able to tolerate the rest of them.

I'm going to miss Gaben.

I could go for a dominos pan pep ‘za right now. Can one of you guys order me one?
-Gabe N.

Newell is an Anglo name

What is the ideal alternative device to a PC for me, who hates Ganbe Newell, hates Steam, hates Valve, hates the Steam Deck, and hates PC gaming in general?

I want something that gives me the image of a person who hates and rejects playing on PC.

Yes, and John Stewart is from the finest Scots stock.

Switch 2

They're not going to sell the Switch 2 in my country.
Besides, I hate Nintendo too.

Does anything give me the image of a person who hates Nintendo consoles and rejects all forms of PC gaming?

Microsoft couldn't push him out of the scene despite a bajillion dollars. All it takes is clean efficient code = task impossible.

Someone who has sex. You should go do that. You can pretend her tiddies are the gamepad, and the nips are your sticks.

gamepass

reasons why an XBOX would be my ideal alternative to a PC?

By the way, I don't have the money for Game Pass.
Do you know of any free-to-play games I can download for free on the XBOX Series S?

Fortnite

I'm still surprised by how badly Epic fumbled their handling of the Epic game store. If they did things correctly, by this time, with how many years have gone by, it could have easily been built up into a decent competitor to Steam. But Tim Epic somehow retardedly refused to invest even a single cent into it, by copying all of Steam's social functions. Now EGS is known as an occasional free game dumping ground.

jokes on you he's going to live forever now

The Epic Games Store is unironically better than Steam in every way, once that fat fuck drops and everyone loses their Stockholm Syndrome everyone will clearly recognize the superior store.

ozempic face

im not so sure about that

he lost the weight before ozempic
and spoiler alert, anyone sufficiently obese is going to look like that if they lose weight, no matter how they do it
the skin isn't going to magically tighten up again because you did it the old fashioned way

You know it's kind of funny just how fucking evil and incompetent all the "competitors" are on, that we literally have near daily threads about them fantasizing the company going full retard after Gabe Newell dies for literally no reason and them getting to take over.
They honestly hate their customers THAT much.

62 years old

What happens to steam if he passes away?

Got that Jeff Bridges look goin on, good for him

I love ozenpic, and the fact that it's going to kill so many people due to the way insurance is willing to pay for it. Women come in trying to get the wonder weight loss pill only to find out that insurance doesn't cover weight loss drugs, they'll only pony up if it's for diabetes. So... they go off the deep end. People who weren't diabetic last year worked hard to get type 2, gained a TON of weight and are in terrible health now just to get BCBS to pry open their wallet. It's beautiful. Now they get their ozempic, as well as a statin and one or more blood pressure meds. Congratulations.

Got to paint Steam as the enemy when people are failures in producing good games especially the AAA studios.

well, that's the trick isn't it?
I imagine, immediately, the company stays private
however, there's going to have to be some sort of inheritance scheme in place to prevent it getting gutted by taxes on transfer
and even if it survives that process, there's no guarantee that the next people who control Valve will keep it private
and the second it goes public, we're all fucked
it might be a slow insertion, but what we know as steam will die a terrible death, replaced by a soulless skinwalker shoving subscriptions down our throats

even before competitors like epic, steam was constantly pushing out updates for no reason

library sharing

2 hr refunds

steam controller

steam vr

capture and streaming

not even to outcompete, just because it was the right thing for the industry

I know, but you'd think they'd have at least a little shame, or pretend their shit's worth buying beyond the completely inorganic marketing spam after the internet got holocausted by google and twitter

fat greasy large morbidly obese autistic fat plump tubby octuple-chinned fat voluptuous curvaceous thick sweaty fat lardlord blubberball fatass fat lardass fat fuck

As sexy as it sounds, he lost weight considerably. He's just a normal tall dude now.

>entire pc gaming industry is held up by one 62 year old fat greasy large morbidly obese autistic fat plump tubby octuple-chinned fat voluptuous curvaceous thick sweaty fat lardlord blubberball fatass fat lardass fat fuck

Of course. Somebody writing based code 20 hours a day for decades deserves utmost respect. What were you expecting? Onlyfans whores to invest in video games?

Somebody writing based code 20 hours a day for decades

this is pretty much how all legacy software is maintained

entire pc gaming industry is held up by

Let me stop you right there. I would never use such a program that is as unfriendly to developers as Ste*m. Use something that lets you actually own the games you buy instead, like the Epic Games Store.

refunds

EU

pushing out updates for no reason

2 hrs refunds

lol no. That was not for "no reason". There was an outrageous amount of pressure from EU consumer rights and Valve was fighting that fight for a long time until they finally capitulated. Steam has done more than any other store, sure, but refunds was not out of the goodness of their hearts.