Why does Anon Babble hate Elden Ring?

hey, John Anon Babble here. I love Elden Ring, therefore you and everyone else also love Elden Ring. That's how it works. Only one guy is Anon Babble, that being me, and my opinion is universal.

Terminal contrarianism for (You)s

Terminal contrarianism for (You)s

Our IGN First exclusive month of coverage on Elden Ring Nightreign kicks off tomorrow at 9am PT/12pm ET!

shitposting month COMMENCE

Why does Anon Babble hate popular thing?

Gee, dunno...

The economy is terrible kill one guy get 70 souls go down the street kill another guy 1000 souls.

jump mechanic sucks, elbows still take damage so you need to two hand a colossal weapon because the posture raises your elbows just enough to break the game.

game is obsessed with throwing random invisible spheres of damage at you that you have to avoid via handwaved invincibility mechanic

damage economy sucks, critical arts often deal worse damage than ash of war spam, devs can't decide if they want you to posture break or to deal damage so you always just mash weapon arts to do both which is braindead. one strategy for every fight.

everything is bathed in neon photoshop filters that look like bad reshade, yellow yellow yellow looks like shit, color-wise.

can't justify its scale like most open world games, playable portion of the map is 10% of what you see in the game the rest is bottomless nothing void, empty walking nothing void, and cramped hallways leading directly to whatever they put effort into. the best rewards are garbage you can't use unless you overlevel or make a new character.

enemies are spastic and I don't like that at all. even when you win you just have nothing good to look forward to.

it's a wiki game where playing normally makes you miss 90% of the game.

Sold about 29 millions too much for vee.
They can no longer pretend to be patricians who like le obscure game series or even pretend they're good at it (they never were) since there's millions of people playing now

mental illness

Why does Anon Babble hate Elden Ring?

is this engagement bait. this board worships this pretentious game

this but unironically

Why does Anon Babble hate Elden Ring?

Souls shit has only been DECLINING since the very original PS3 Demon's Souls, that had tight design, and weighty, realistic feel. The whole i-frame wanking and dodging TOWARDS the enemy attacks trash is just ridiculous. For a ""difficult"" game, it's odd that they still have not re-implemented old features like equipment and weapons BREAKING DOWN with use and abuse, or dying HALVING your max HP until you regain your remains.

Pair this solid, handcrafted structure with an open-world meme, and you got a clusterfuck that has INVISIBLE "level caps" you're supposed to know of, together with endless miles of copy-pasted cathedral and church ruins.
The OW aspect is wasted by the fact that all you find in the game world are hostile enemies trying to kill you. No factions to join and trade with. No comfy villages to hang out within. No fun activities. Just endless ADHD slaughterfest. Your guy also can't climb even a chest-high obstacle without the help of the magical steed.
It is also bizarre that FROM decided to stick to the old and beaten Estus Flask design, in an OW game where you're collecting fucking flowers 24/7; the old healing grass design would've fit this one like a glove, and encourage exploration further.

Next, the game just looks and sounds like shit. The OST is nothing burger, and the game is brown and gray, anti-soul fog coated clusterfuck, that lack contrast and macro detailing.
It's also just hilarious how FROM's trying to come up with rebrands for their "camp-fires", "souls" and "undead", with all these Runes and Tarnished just sounding cheesy as fuck.

tl;dr: the zoom zoom fags "like" Elder Rimjob only because it's their first "Souls" game, and remotely more challenging than their average Call Of Halo.

People got tricked into liking Demon's Souls and the only appeal to soulsbornes are the artificial difficulty and nothing else.

Demon's Souls was an ugly game and looked like a tech demo.

Fuck of tranny.
The very first thing that impressed me in DeS was the super sharp, realistic as hell visuals. It was impressive as hell for a PS3, that already suffered of the brown+bloom cancer at the time.
The atmosphere and gameplay are also several tiers above the modern Souls-slop.

Anon Babble hates this game so much, they make constant threads about it on the daily.

Demon's Souls suffered worse flaws than Elden Ring

worse animations

worse color scheme: everything is brown and bloom

worse art direction: Monsters looked like they were glued turds

no towns, no npcs, no quest

level design is just a castle lmao

graphics are ugly

healing grass is the worst healing mechanic aside blood vials

no story nor narrative to keep interest

everything is so dead world wise

worse animations

stopped reading there, i dont care

Demon's Sharts was the worst thing to come to gaming and I wish it stayed dead like Sony intended it to.

Open world maps were even emptier, there are entire regions with maybe one or two items. Lore is incoherent garbage obviously cobbled together to justify boss fights. They want to make fights harder to appeal to streamers, but have no ideas for any actually fun or creative ways to do it, so we get more combo chains, more AoEs, more delayed attacks. The scadutree system is retarded.

popular

and it's not on the Switch

You're right. They made an entire successor to the Switch just so they could have Elden Ring.

Or is it just a loud minority?

Make a poll and you'll see how small a minority it really is every time.

A thread about Dark Souls from this past week taught me that people who hate Elden Ring and long for the days of Dark Souls are actually mentally handicapped and too bad at video games to beat Elden Ring with their arbitrary, retarded self-imposed handicaps.

npcs only identity comes from liking what Anon Babble doesn't

Because it is the flanderization of souls games

ER is a good game. Out of every From game it was the one I had the best experience playing through the first time, but it's also the one that's the least enjoyable to replay.

Sekiro was better.
Isshin had a gun.

Sekiro only became the best once they introduced gauntlets. I spent over a hundred hours on those. I'm not a game designer but surely they're so easy to introduce that they should just put them in every game. DeS and DS1 are great between bosses but all the others would be vastly improved by a boss rush mode.

There's nothing to flanderize when the series has been shit since the beginning.

So, good but filters pleb secondaries wanting to like the new cool thing after it got popular?

Never forget.

Tranny Ring lost
Fromslop are going to suffer turmoil after releasing mulitplayer slop which will bankrupt them.

Sekiro was better.
Wolf was a shotacon.

why did they remove the IP counter again?

hear about DS1

sounds gay, ignore threads

whoa dude like demon's souls is so good

nah, it's on chinkstation

"DS2 is the worst game ever made"

bloodborne runs at 10 fps lol

okay yeah, glad I didn't get involved

DS3 comes out, hear people talking about it

decide to watch the trailer

oh well maybe I'll get it

it's the best gameplay they've ever made

best bosses, best music

has the most disappointing DLC ever, outside of the bosses "concludes" souls

sekiro comes out and nobody cares

-

announce a new series

say you're hiring ato write for your game

ask a world renowned worldbuilder to write for the game

he just writes the script for a song of ice and fire, incest and everything

you okay it, he fucks off

completely abandon the incest plot, but keep the characters

now for some reason a bunch of the children are inbred for no reason because marika and roland or whatever the fuck his name is are no longer siblings

they're even called misbegotten because they're incest babies

bosses referencing actual nonsense, zanzibart is off the charts

dungeons are 50 foot gauntlets

late game is actually busted with insane HP bloat and damage because they're still using demon's souls damage calculations while fillign the game with 30 +20% damage items

slam a bunch of DS3/sekiro assets in a field and call it good

3trannies have the worst opinion on this board. Glad their echo chamber /dsg/ tanked and got forgotten.

I'm sure people that play DS3 don't really care, that's what makes us better than you. It was the widest cast net for a retarded series and they nailed it, got 0 recognition for it then turned around and shat out sekiro and elden crusty butthole ring

DS1>DS2>>>>>ER>DeS>DS3>BB>>>>>Sekiro

fromsoft would never reuse animations from other bosses

kek this aged real well

Elden Ring needs it most because it's ginormous.

They want to make fights harder to appeal to streamers, but have no ideas for any actually fun or creative ways to do it

I actually abstained from buying Elden Ring at all because despite really enjoying Sekiro and DS3 I felt they were starting to edge closer and closer to the point of being unreasonable in places. Like, Sekiro almost gets it just right but then takes it a step too far with the Demon of Hatred, which is just a bad boss, IDGAF what anyone says. And fuck the Twin Princes, too

so yeah the boss has a sword longer than the arena you have to fight him in and rapid-fire teleportation and insane speed and range and damage and you have to kill him like 5 times because his brother keeps resurrecting him and you have to kill the brother too but can only really damage the little brother while he's healing the big one and he follows that up with a bullshit AOE attack so you have time to hit him like maybe twice and also he spams homing magic

So..yeah. I decided to wait to see how Elden Ring shook out and when I saw the Malenia fight and Radahn 2.0 it was exactly what I was afraid of. Bosses having 5 minute epileptic seizure combos with dodging patters that don't even make sense, or just flying into orbit and raining fire on you from an untouchable position...it's the nadir they've been working towards this whole time. None of it looks fun any more, just exhausting

Anon Babble got spitroasted by Margit on top of their toasters stuttering every 10 seconds because most Anon Babbleirgins are Brazilian PCPoors
it never stood a chance on this board but 30 million copies sold just proves Anon Babble wrong (again)

Remember back when you actually had to use your brain to overcome the puzzling mind bending bosses and areas of Demons'S Souls and DS2? Yeahh, Elden Ring is nothing like that. It's a game for children about hitting the roll button at the right time.

Hello I'm Anon Babble and I don't hate Elden Ring I enjoy it very much but I have a few criticisms here and there and I wished they went for more quality than quantity in a lot of places. A lot of it feels like Bloodborne if the chalice dungeons were apart of the gameworld and not side content a lot of the time in a bad way but the exploration can be really really cool at times and it has great build variety.

Anon Babble lives for particular situations where one good game is exclusive to a limited number of people while everyone cries about wanting it for multiple platforms and anything that would take away from that salt mine is considered bad.

You'll notice this is the case with many good games.

Start game for a bit, just want to team up with some people and play

Activate my sign and wait for fifteen minutes... nothing

Go somewhere and activate the tongue hoping for some fun fights... wait fifteen minutes for nothing.

Exit game

Like jesus christ I just want to play with some people and have fun, hundreds of other games have better matchmaking. Why does fromsoft have to be complicated with their bullshit matchmaking system? They never properly explain the rules of the matchmaking in game.

Have to be within certain levels, within certain weapon levels, have to have the summon pool for that area active. Fuck I could have come up with a better system. Just do away with the dumbass summon pool nonsense, have activation of any grace enable matchmaking in that area and have summon signs appear around your character when you enable the matchmaking item. Boom, done. You'd have summons readily available wherever you went.

I love this picture so fucking much
I just know that these fags IMMEDIATELY 180d once it was revealed true

Man, those chalice dungeons bored the shit out of me. Yes, it offered a lot of additional content but only by copypasting the same four rooms ten thousand times and re-suing bosses but giving them OP stats. It was such low-effort padding. They could have cut 90% of that and I would not have missed any of it

you will never fit in :)

They dont they just like to spam stupid thread to get attention and also because its common practice to be contrarian just to bait people

Yeah I've never played a game where it felt compulsory to have a wiki open the entire time. Just ruins the whole experience when I have to constantly check where the fuck I'm supposed to go next because the game won't just tell me.

The invisible level cap thing has always been utterly retarded and I don't know why it's lasted this long. Just set the limit to 50 if it's the hard cap anyway. Levels 51-99 increase your stats by like 0.01% it's just silly.

In a few words, it has the worst boss design in the whole series.

Based Sekiro hater

fpbp

Was it the thread where some underageb& posted his video whining about dying to Rellana with a level 75 build with 45 vigor and soreseal and then proceeded to go nuclear?

Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Like they were deliberately trying to embrace every stereotype