[Sad News] Nintendo will brick consoles involved with piracy and watch all chat text/voice

Why is nintendo so anal about piracy despite record profits?

The harder you grip, the more sand slips through your fingers.

I'm still expecting day 1 footage of people jacking off at the camera

2 weeks, tendie.

As usual, pirates will simply circumvent/block this and the servile goycattle will be the only ones affected when Nintendo spergs out and bricks people's consoles over a false positive.

Would rather just upgrade my PC.

walk into tendie's room

shout "PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE" at the piranha plant microphone

Switch 2 bricked and 80$ games stolen

Emulating a PS4 Pro level system

Dabbing on Nintendo by burning 800 dollars minimum.

walk into PCtroon's goon chamber

yell "YWNBAW YWNBAW YWNBAW" at the discord VC erp steam friend session

entire discord cabal ack'd and $3k PC left to idle on steam for eternity

shout "PIRATE PIRATE PIRATE" at the piranha plant microphone

mic starts clipping due to distance compression sounding worse than an xbox 360 headset

No words heard just noises

nintendo calls the cops believing a murder occured

get swatted

Cemu was already being emulated when emulating 360 or ps3 was a far away dream, emulating nintendo is just too easy

I'm still hoping I run into day 1 footage of people jacking off at the camera

is what I'm sure you meant to say, faggot.

He also storms out with your DVD copy of King Kong, a bowl of peaches in your kitchen, and your older cousin Mario.

Yeah. My PC can play Bloodborne, so Pokemon is no sweat.

Thanks pirates, for making videogames worse for everybody

Good. Fuck pirates. For too long have you had it good in exchange for nothing. Seethe more fuckers.

People blame Nintendo for all the recent pirate groups being sued, but the retards being so open about asking for money are what killed it.

Cannot help but agree wholeheartedly. None of this comes as a surprise anymore.

With current tariffs, that's like 10 games without tax. I don't think I've owned a Nintendo console with less than 10 games by the end of its lifespan. Plus you can factor out the cost of the console itself and it becomes a much better deal to just pirate everything on PC.

retards spamming and bragging on twitter are 100% responsible for this

All the zoomers had to do was shut the fuck up and play the free games like everyone else instead of making sure to tell everyone that they're 'sailing the high seas yaaarrr' like fucking retards.

Why do you care?
Their consoles are for children, now more than ever.

where an online feature was being used to meet kids

I think this is all bullshit that the media was hyping up for views. Though I guess Nintendo doesn't want to deal with that again

3DS had swapnote which ended for similar reasons too, with them having camera calls bow there's no way they weren't going to monitor that shit.

More like they are only only retards who refuse to release shit on the only relevant platform so you need to emulate to play metroid at 200fps

If a Switch 2 emulator happens I doubt it'll be a fork of Yuzu or Ryujinx.

First they came for the people who pirate games and I did not speak out—because I was did not pirate my games.

Then they came for the people who hack their systems, and I did not speak out—because I did not hack my system.

Then they came for the people who broke the EULA and I did not speak out—because I did not break the EULA.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

because they're releasing games on/for extremely low power hardware that can be emulated better, today, before its even released, than it will be able to on their products.

based corporation

I just don't understand it, people pirate movies, music, anime, tv shows all without being extremely obnoxious, but for some reason videogame pirates just have to be absolute pieces of shit about it

This has literally always been the policy they've had. There's a reason you don't patch fixed hardware, because it can potentially brick it, and that will remain true with the Switch 2. You don't connect online and you don't auto patch. That's kinda the consequence of it. Unofficial servers tend to come AFTER the end of a platform's life cycle, like with the 3/DS.

you can emulate switch 2 games on mid-range pcs and than they'll run on the switch 2

you really think nintendo could've kept this a secret?

???? didn't they already do that, that's why you can't go online after hacking any of your consoles.

and the game chat thing, i don't know how they're going to enforce that. there's no way they have enough man-power to look through literally everything. the fucking fbi doesn't even do a good job at that, and they have entire departments dedicated to it.

basically neither of these things matter if you aren't a dipshit.

switch 2 will be emulatable after one week lol

there's no way they have enough man-power to look through literally everything.

bruh you know most game moderation is ai now right

they want MORE profits, don't you get it? it's not a joke when they get called honorary jews

watch all chat text/voice

Good. We don't need another fucking roblox/discord.

Wasn't there a EU report that showed that piracy accounted for a minuscule amount of lost sales since most pirates would not buy the product if piracy wasn't an option?
At some point you have to wonder if the money invested into anti-piracy overshadows the money they get from people not pirating

Nintendo has enough money to withstand that. They would need two serious console flops in a row to die.

might want to sell that glass house buddy, everyone can see you jack off

be nintendo

your main historical competition releases a console where piracy is pretty easy

plant earwigs about this everywhere you can, in every developer's ear

very few people release games for the console

chalk this up to your behavior, rather than simply an upstart outselling both of you for simply making a better console

believe to this day piracy is what killed the dreamcast, rather than it just not being as good as the playstation

years pass

your consoles are found to have trivial piracy

and now they're freaking the fuck out

That's how you know the gaming community is full of fucking retards

No one on this site actually read that report. We just cite it without knowing what the fuck it actually was based on.

How?

is no one going to point this is a reddit screencap

I did, but it was a while ago
As far as I remember their methodology checked out, and the only two areas they found that were actually significantly impacted by piracy were music and blockbuster movies

he doesn't remember the napster trials, where the entire world was told simultaneously that you can easily pirate anything with a pc

not to mention hackers always make a huge deal about circumventing any copy protection. denuvo's main "security" is they'll ruthlessly gangstalk and harass anyone who cracks it.

Get too lax and we're back to DS and Wii era of easy to do hacks. Plus gaming is their main source of incom

this is a reddit screencap

DS and Wii era

So extraordinarily successful?

Nintendo fucking the consumer is actually... THE FAULT OF SOMEONE ELSE!

Lmao. Bootlickers are insane.

wii and ds appealed to people who wouldn't consider piracy. kids and normies. now said kids are adults and normies play phone games.

The console that's sold 152 million units doesn't appeal to "people who couldn't consider piracy"?

I'm just saying piracy was at its worse then. especially for pokemon.

its that kids and normies are much larger demographics than people who'd consider piracy, is the point you seem incapable of grasping.

Japan and Shittendo of America deserves a chinese nuke and earthquake at kyoto

Why is nintendo so anal about piracy despite record profits?

because they are evil and greedy
they will do anything they can get away with

its more that the film/music industries acted like huge fags about piracy before anyone else could.

as for tv "piracy," these niggers made millions off that. not to mention the fact recording a broadcast was already deemed legal by television networks going to court to try to have it banned.

Oh no, the poor pirates.

You desperate attention seeking twats are the reason why piracy is becoming harder and harder. Fuck, you retards, aren't just loud and selfish, you have zero fucking clue how the world works. You fucking retards don't even know how to commit a crime. That's how fucking stupid you retards are.

only ban you from online services

wow amazing "brick"

if you've ever wondered why name/tripfags are always absolute retards, realize they're the type of people who looked at Anon Babble and thought

THIS IS WHERE I WILL FINALLY RECEIVE THE RESPECT, ADORATION, AND ATTENTION I DESERVE

its because of an old myth (that was published as a legitimate news story by stephen glass) that if you pull off impressive hacks, the companies will hire you for fat stacks of cash.

either way, all nintendo is doing is advertising how easy it is and will be to pirate their games.

don't forget the switch emulator guy got fat stacks of cash from nintendo to stop development. which immediately resulted in a dozen forks of said project.

You acknowledge that if you fail to comply with the foregoing restrictions Nintendo may render the Nintendo Account Services and/or the applicable Nintendo device permanently unusable in whole or in part.

fun fact: no EULA has ever held up in court.

EU cucks btfo as usual

he's wrong but there's been weird outliers in the past, the gba had a working emulator before the console was even out. it ran the yoshi's story tech demo. piracy on nintendo systems has been hilarious for the past 25 years.

Kinda like pirates.

Ok bootlicker.

extremely low power hardware

implying games that can't run on a PS4 aren't unoptimized UE5 slop anyway

*EU btfo's cucks as usual

Thought that was real. The common myth about why new Football Manager's hacks/cracks are often released after the highest sale periods is because they people behind the cracks were paid by the publisher.

Who's that guy who bragged about modding Switchs, and now he's acting as his own lawyer in court?

little late to be realizing lack of optimization is an anti-piracy measure.

Message heard loud and clear, don't bother buying the console, just emulate from the start.

Right I remember the wario ware DIY porn games youtube.com/watch?v=t4Jzx0BgV80

Sony and Microsoft also have games only on their consoles, but I don't see people having constant shrieking meltdowns about it.

Go ahead, try announcing loudly to everyone in public where you got your fent or crack or whatever, you dumb sack of shit. Your dealer would probably shoot your retarded faggot ass on spot. Like I said, retards like you don't fucking care about anyone else or the system, you just care about consuming and getting your rocks off of attention from people. That's all you fucking monkeys care about.

Did the media do it with Sony and Microsoft's chat and camera features?

doesn't remember

The mentality is always "Ok, we made x money but we could've made even more if we weren't afflicted with piracy".
They literally never credit piracy with promoting their brand and earning them long term fans by alternative means

Whatever that is I don't remember because people weren't constantly screaming about it.

Because their games usually gets ported to pcs. Nintendo? Never. Especially games that they develop and publish themselves. I would buy XBC1,2,3 and X on pc, if I could.

mmmm tasty boots

Ok bootlicker.

Of course you don't remember because PC gamers don't have to write petitions for PC ports anymore. And if they tried to write petitions for PC ports of Nintendo games they'd fall on deaf ears.

They literally never credit piracy with promoting their brand and earning them long term fans by alternative means

Fucking really? Thats how you're trying to justify it now?

Just say you don't wanna spend money, you lazy cow.

NOOOOOO YOU HAVE TO CREDIT ME FOR MY CRIMINAL ACT! I'M SO KEWL AREN'T I? AREN'T I?!!!

They weren't kidding when they say these hackers and crackers literally runs off of attention. No wonder you mongs usually become trannies.

People here really think that thier consoles isnt gonna just turn on oneday.. fucking morons... if they were to block access to the console most likely then not they gonna show a you're bad boy message on boot. And if can show that message, then they can circumvent the "brick" entirely im sure.

They have a lot of games that never come to PC, and I have yet to hear anyone complain about said exclusives the way they lose their monkey fucking shit over Nintendo not putting Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, Metroid, Fire Emblem, etc onto PC.

They literally never credit piracy with promoting their brand and earning them long term fans by alternative means

The head of Larian actually did do that, but Larian is a privately owned studio that doesn't need to appease shareholders to avoid being sued by said shareholders for not maximizing profit.

He talked about how people that pirate the game now will go on to buy future games if they're good enough once they have money to do so. There was an older interview that he did where he straight up admitted to being a pirate in the past so he was talking from personal experience.

I think I probably played a couple of thousands of games illegally, and so I’d be quite a hypocrite if I’d condemn something I’ve been doing myself for years. I now make enough money to buy all my games, and I do, but I didn’t back then and to be frank, I also didn’t really think about the people making those games and the impact of my piracy actions on them. I even cracked some games or fixed some bad cracks when I discovered that my gameplay experience was being disturbed by some fancy copy protection.”

You want my attention so desperately, kek. Wanna suck my dick too while you're at it.

You people pirate everything, including what's actually on PC, so why do you give a faggot's AIDS-ridden ass about Nintendo not being a free-use whore?

Like what? Bloodborne? Who gives a shit about another rollslop. Every game on xbox is available on pc through gamepass or microsoft store these days.

I'm a game dev, ive also pirated my whole life. The industry runs on piracy internally too at every level. Sure you buy some licenses at inflated prices to keep 80% or more of your company in the green, but the last 20% is piracy, from operating systems, to tools, to god knows what. It doesn't matter if its indie or AAA.
Piracy barely even hurts the bottom line unless you had more piracy than sales, and that rarely ever happens

tl;dr

piracy is fine, devs do it too, pirate my game if you want i dont care, our DRM doesn't even work

these games don't count because it ruins my narrative!

I don't justify jack shit, you retarded troglodyte. I steal because I can and enjoy doing it, end of story.
But the benefits are there, regardless of whether that's your reason for pirating or not

Maybe small time indie like you pirate software but that's a very big nono for anyone worth their salt

They don't count because they're on pcs as well you dimwit. Are you stupid?

Yeah, stick it to the man, Anon. You're so cool. You badass rebel.

Put your money where mouth is, then.

yeah the switch 2 is never getting jailbroken LMAO

It's still an Nvidia SOC, i.e., garbage.
They keeping a partner more than a single system generation is a miracle.
Source: Apple bumpgate, squeezing Sony on PS3 GPU, Switch 1 complete security break, etc.

Well, there goes another one to the filter list.

Nintendo would literally kick you in the shin with steel plated timbs if they thought it would stop piracy. They have no recourse for their behavior.

buy?

Weren’t there Koreans getting banned from games because the Korean word for friend sounds like ‘nigger’. The same thing will happen here.

PCfags are so weird. They demand everything be on their console because "We ain't paying money for anything!" while they pirate everything that is on their console so they don't have to pay money. If you're pirating it why are you crying that it isn't on there?

PS and Xbox are seen as mature platforms rather than family like Nintendo is

so do the japanese words for human and run (ningen and nigero)

Even if you buy their stuff, they add more paywalls in the name of bad faith subscriptions.

Because when you are emulating their games those 9/10 magically turn into 6/10 games turns out the hopium is the only thing keeping them alive with people building hype and going through the game fast enough not to notice it's crap

we'll stop piracy by making our products worse in a way that only affects paying customers

I do buyed ports thoughbeit.
I boughted ports that I haven't even played or pirated before thoughchance.

will this affect homebrewed 3ds's? was thinking about buying one for hshop

You say this as if it's going to flop lmao

nice brief history of literally all attempts to stop piracy.

You can't be the face of wholesome childrens toys and still be assholes with the best lawyers on the planet, not even Disney gets a pass and people call them out for being evil.

what're you going to be for holloween timmy?

I'M GONNA BE A PIRATE YARG PLUNDER YE BOOTY

MOOOOM MY SWITCH IS BROKE

your games must have given it a virus

It won't get jailbroken

Which is why there's a fucking killswitch if they find out you did

nigai(bitter) and nigatsu(february) are 2 others
youtube.com/watch?v=JAcd5xnsjn8

Its a japanese thing, they dont fuck around with piracy and copyright stuff
Unless its doujins, those are fine lmao

What a dystopia nightmare that shithole country is.

As for the Switch thing idgaf since I don't buy or play tendie shit.

And yet this company lives rent free in your head, what a sad, pathetic individual

well shit now i'm angry.

the only competitive advantage they have in the market is their IP's

feeling bad for ecelebs

Are you incapable of communicating without faggot zoomer lingo? I just said I don't play or buy tendie products how did your dumbass then derive that it "lives rent free in my head".

reminder insomniac games uses pirated winrar, multiple versions in fact
but i do, im credited in over 10 games and i dont give a fuck if people pirate. we ship to gog, we're basically asking for it

It legitly happened in Japan where people used used Swapnote, where you can send notes and pictures to people on your friendlist, to get kids use the 3DS's camera to take nudes of themselves.
It's why they deactivated the online feature for it and came out with Swapdoodle later which allows notes, but not pictures.

uses a word that only exists because every other derogatory term for a fan of nintendo games is filtered

macaco thread

Sad news!
You got raped n gaped

Why are japanese companies so japanese?

I could just call you a faggot instead