We work for the Umbrella Corporation.
/ITT/
That Dr. Birkin has a cute daughter, huh?
Goddamnit I forgot how to do this puzzle to access the chainsaw zombie shark lab.
"Someone tell Wesker to leaving his cheap black sunglasses on my desk."
Mr. Spencer…I have completed the BBC strain to your specifications…
…a test subject? Why sir, my wife volunteered wholeheartedly! She is as invested in this company as I am!!
Yes yes…our initial forecasts were off…but it is astounding how much my wife positively responded to Code:BBC! Never have we reported such enthusiastic growth and acceptance!!
Mr…Mr. Spencer..I wish to take the BBC after my wife’s passing…she was simply too weak, too lustful of its..potency…but I possess the stronger will…the stronger..vessel, if you will, for the solid dose of BBC that she could jot handle. I swear upon science that this will mark the dawn of a new age!! The Age of BBC!!!!
DO NOT FUCK THE B.O.W'S!! NO I DON'T FUCKING CARE HOW MUCH PROTECTION YOU USE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, ANYONE CAUGHT IN THE LABS WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORIZATION ***WILL BE ARRESTED AND TERMINATED***!!
Hehe the guys on floor 28 don't know we've been leaking serin gas through their ACs
"SHE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD"
Out of ten!
Becca is a slut!
good thing someone set all the admin password to spock1. I never have to talk to IT when I need shit.
I'm here to start my internship at the Spencer mansion but I can't figure out how to get into the lab. I tried following the map but it only led me to this fountain
Hey guys does that Ada Wong woman have a boyfriend? Asking for a friend.
Go ahead and arrest me, you can't unfuck the gulp worms
Take a piss in it, it's tradition
COMPLETE
who the fuck keeps cumming on the fucking vials?
Oh God he's doing it again
Wesker please...
YABBA MY ICING
You guys have not RSVP'd my raccoon city weekend bbq invitations, I am still at house 3092 on street 140. Please respond before Saturday.
What do you mean, "It got out?"
I think she's dating the guy at the Spencer Lab. He keeps leaving his fucking love notes in his work area
day 482 of monitoring S.T.A.R.S. members
mfw im on valentine duty this week
I made a serum that turns everyone super gay. I'm just gonna put it in this flimsy half-cracked glass vial and hope nothing bad happens while I'm out on break.
We had the intern poke it with a stick for an hour while we tripled the dosage of serum. And it got out.
Scorcher today huh, guys?
I'm sweating like a pig, Getting all itchy too.
Oh god it's real itchy, gotta put this in my journal somewhere.
Man I'm hgungry all suddn......
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TASTY
I'm thankful for the job and all but who the fuck is buying all these B.O.W.s? With how much we need to invest in making a single one the cost would be enough to just buy and outfit a bunch of mercs
Guys, this chimp's freaking out.
Jenkins we don't sell the B.O.W.s. We release them, get data, then sell the cure and cleanup.
hmmm today i will inject le leech with le virus
Fucking French office.
I believe that it is absolutely crucial for our next BOW to be a giant woman
It appears one of the merchant strain has escaped containment
Many different countries mostly the middle east (Israel of course) Africa has just starting buying our Tyrants and China, but China likes to buy them on their own terms those fuckers.
Lads, that new creature I was working on g
There's an awful lot of orphan slavic kids running around here on Sheena Island innit? Crazy that this place runs such a huge orphanage.
Marcus I swear to fucking God if you're using those leeches to clone and then fuck yourself I'm throwing you in the trash compactor
It's the end of my shift and my vacations start now, I'll be out of the city visiting my parents, now don't die on me while I'm out ok? Ha ha.
I'll bring some gifts, and John, congratulations on your engagement!
Whose turn is it to get gender bend cloned and be the office cum dump for the week?
Okay but HOW dangerous is a lickers mouth?
Don't fucking do it man
I'll front you $25 to find out
Hey guys I made a new creature I call it the giga rapemurdermaster 9000. I will keep it in this broom closet so make sure it doesn't get out ok
One minute and 32 seconds. Not even in the top 500 record times. Reset the clock
I've edited the genome of this version of Las Plagas to make it slightly less fun to fight. I've also made it racist. What African country should we drop it in?
I've only been here for 6 months, but how does making zombies, monsters and death traps help us sell umbrellas?
Africa has countries?
the umbrellas protect you from those
Hey, boss... why do we need a giant flesh-eating blob again???
I... lost Mr. X's hat....
Anyone have a spare crank around? Or a variety?
I didn't make that decision. That was Wesker's request I hate that low-budget looking T-1000 son of a bitch.
Okay, but only if she can also transform into a giant dinosaur.
Hey, U.S.S. new hire here. So I've been looking at some of the shit r&d is cooking up, and it's predicted specs, and are we really expected to stop these things with just MP5s? Who do I have to talk to about getting something chambered for 5.56 at the very least? Because there's a guy in town says he can get or custom make damn near anything but I want to know if there's a way to get reimbursed or if anything other than what's already in the armory will be out of pocket.
Look man if gooninator escapes just submit to it until it's satisfied
Guys I don't think we actually make cold medicine
There's a guy looking at the Regenerators weird whenever we show them off in testing, I don't know how to feel about it.
Wdym cold medicine doesn't make people sprout tentacles
What are you talking about? I thought we made skincare products.
*smears virus all over the bathoom stall walls*
If you think our experiments are fucked up you should see what the umbrella development division does
Will the retard that keeps screaming
"STAAAAAAARSS!" in the basement please shut up?!
We need some serious soundproofing here!
Boss keeps refusing to greenlight my project to make living fleshlights. Keeps asking "why do we have to make them sentient?". He just doesn't get it.
Would anyone like to order something from the cafeteria?
I ain't trusting any food that comes out of this place, I bring my own in tupperware
Refusing food at the cafeteria?
This statement would only be made by an infected employee.
Why can't we just make medicine?
It's all well and good to larp and all, but realistically if everyone on Anon Babble worked at Umbrella 99% of you would be doing the most mundane corporate desk job and warehouse work, 0.1% know better than to talk about our jobs on Anon Babble and 0.9% are currently some kind of biohazard abomination, the majority of which are either in holding off the coast of Mauritania or deployed in the Central African Republic.
Bad medicine.
You guys heard?
They're working on a G-Vaccine.
A vaccine! I ain't takin' that shit, god knows whats in it.
Any of you dumbasses got vaxx'd? stay the fuck away from me.
Weirdest project ever, man. The pit must have been 300 meters deep and we spent weeks lining it with pods that looked just big enough to hold a person. Took months. Met some chick off camp on the last night and stayed with her and I missed the bus taking the rest of the crew back to the airport when it was over and haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone since. I don’t think I want to work for that contractor anymore, you should have seen the size of the muscle they has guarding the site. Almost inhuman. Glad its over.