Stay back, gamer. You don’t know what you’re dealing with

huh, I've never looked up art of them but I always imagined them looking like miniature bipedal dragons based on the description from the book of them having scales and tails

basically I imaged them as Guilmon

Did Eoin hate video games

I think they were talking about Artemis.

Looks like the new covers are backing you up on this one.

Because he’s a boomer?

He was calling Artemis a boomer??? Artemis was 12 in 2001, so he would have been born in the late eighties.

what the fuck

Man I barely remember this book. I remember gold. Also was there a miniature train or something in it?

I thought of him as a midget version of the main gargoyle from that one cartoon, just without wings and with the runes and stuff

This was a boom series for girls I know because I read it in middle school

I don't know any girls who read this, they were all reading Percy Jackson instead

Percy Jackson is good. I listened to the Echo Wirm dubs of the first three books and started the fourth, and Riordan’s faggotry aside, they still are very fun. I was shocked that Lightning Thief still had the strongest story of all the first three, though.

Are they good enough to actually read again as an adult? I read the first 5 (maybe the 6th too?) And don't remember them well

Yeah some of the middle Percy Jackson books feel like filler, but they end strong.

The thing for me is that even if books like Sea Of Monsters and Titan’s Curse kinda have weaker stories, they’re still expanding the world, adding new characters and creating extensive new lore. That’s important and something normalfags will always try to walk back.

Man I haven't thought about Artemis Fowl im years.

Did Artemis ever get to bang that fairy?

artemis fowl owned, one of my favorite books as a kid. also spent a bunch of time getting the full fairy alphabet and decoding the messages. I don't know if I read the last couple books or not, but I do know they felt like there was a definite drop in quality

Thank God I actually read books as a child. So many good children's books. It's too bad my brain eventually fried and I have ADHD-tier patience and can't read for longer than 20 minutes nowadays.

artemis is a kid

Holly is a short 80-90 year old fairy

i think they kiss once but that was it

I've gone through the same, but I also can't watch TV or movies anymore either. They just don't do anything for me compared to vidya. If I try to watch a film I get antsy after 15 minutes and feel the need to get up and pace around for a while before I can sit down and continue. I don't get that feeling with games.

So what you're saying is it's both legal loli and straight shota?
Why the fuck didn't he commit?

from his interview, he said he felt he was bad with romance and cringe at his own writing. He left it open ended by the end of the series, they could hook up romantically if the reader follows the character's motivations.

nice

artemis steals some magical power on the way back from the world of demons

immediately uses all of it because colfer didn't know where to go with it, never refreshes it with a ritual like the fairies, gone forever and nobody ever mentions there was a magical human for the first time in recorded history ever again

Which ever one had the data cube was kino.

pure ocean's eleven for kids kino

immediately uses all of it because colfer didn't know where to go with it

dropped the series instantly after that, what a fucking waste of a cool moment

For me it was Artemis just never thinking to do the fucking acorn ritual and replenish his magic, even though it SHOULD work for him if he's capable of manipulating it.

only decent thread going on is not vidya

Never change Anon Babble.

This shit was my favorite book for years. Best one in the series.

For anyone who hasn't read them, Eternity Code is pretty decent but very young adult. The Wish List is easily his best book. I read it a few years back and it has some YA moments but it's very worth a read as a grown ass man.

Eternity Code

I meant to say the Supernaturalist. Weird ass fucking book, very good.

My school library had these books with the cool reflective foil covers. The editions I ended up getting in a box set of the first three (all that were out at the time I read them) all had boring regular paper covers, kinda disappointing.

Oh hell yeah that was rad, it's been 20 years since I read it and remember fuck all specific about it but I recall it was a cool almost YA Matrix-feeling fantasy cyberpunk sort of thing.

I'm listening to the audiobooks ATM, they are okay, not particularly demanding of one's attention

remind me, its been forever.
didnt the series end off with atremis getting memory wiped to handwave away several plot threads?

I liked Half Moon Investigations

Oh these were fantastic YA books. I still remember going through them as a preteen and loving every second.

the only zoomer YA novel series i read that i can remember at all (and i read a lot of them) is fucking warrior cats and i wish i didn't remember

Books were the only thing that could calm my adhd brain down, since I was a kid I remember the moment I got a book I’d just sit still and devour 100s of pages.

In HS I honestly got in trouble quite a bit but one of my English teachers who loved me used to just give me a book and park my ass down. I got suspended at one point for being a stupid shit and went to that off campus place for “bad kids”. The disciplinary teachers fell in love with me because I’d just park my ass in a corner with a book for 8 hours

TLDR
Reading cures my ADHD

game's own premise disagrees with the necessity of being a wild cat vs. a housecat

I knew a friend in 6th grade who liked those books. I didn't think anything of it at the time.
Fast forward to 10th grade. I see his name again on Facebook (which was the only social media at the time), so out of curiosity I think "Oh I wonder how he's doing."
Clicked on his profile, WALL TO WALL FURRY ART. Dude not only turned into a furry, his entire life was being a furry. I think the pipeline might be real.

The pipeline is absolutely real, I've seen it happen in real time

Does Hunger Games count as zoomer or does it just about manage to squeak into late-millennial?

definitely zoomer

I like how the books increasingly act like Artemis and Holly are going to bone

i read this book as a kid and all i remember is i liked it but i was extremely confused at the end when the dwarf unhinges his jaw and starts eating dirt to dig a tunnel
i remember having no idea how to visualize that happening
then there's an ambush or something and the villain is crouching in a tree and says something super cringe, even 10 year old me couldn't handle it, "heh... they never look up"

jokes on you i was reading gay furry erotica on yiffstar before i read artemis fowl

Wtf, why is there a Anon Babble thread about the audiobook I'm currently listening to?
I can't say I like this series very much. It's okay, but doesn't hold my interest. I just use audiobooks to fall asleep.

My headcanon is that Artemis and Holly totally hooked up and fucked, shota x fairy is kino.

Not Artemis Fowl, Warrior Cats/Warriors.

Yes but its two sequels were far better. opal deception was pretty great too with some gutpunch scenes like root's rather brutal and merciless death but the eternity code always felt like the best stopping point for the characters.
the series would make a kino vidya or two.
wait but wasn't the entire plot of book 7 about artemis having magic aids because of the magic? definitely squandered plot though.

Which one of the Artemis Fowl books was it that had the like, nuclear-heated mass of molten iron being used to melt through the ground for geological surveying (but actually to burn a hole into the fairy city or whatever). I always thought that was such an incredibly rad concept and am still disappointed we haven't done something like that on one of the ice moons around Jupiter or Saturn.

Holly, my beloved.

Book 4, Opal Deception

Whilst I do love the Fowl books, I do wish they hadn't made Opal the antagonist in every other book

Turn around

Why isn't there an Artemis Fowl game?

remembers that terrible Disney movie

Oh. Right. Damn shame, cause the setting could make for any number of cool video games.

ENTER

i liked this

This shit is YA fantasy right? All I read is fantasy and I've run out of things so I'm rereading stuff. I recently tried to read Earthsea because I've seen it mentioned a bunch as a classic, but the first book was one of the driest, most boring things I've read in a long while so I dropped the rest.

I didn't watch that, I figured it'd be shit as soon as I learned they genderswapped Commander Root. I heard Artemis isn't evil in it?

I remember being very skeptical of the dude breaking a glass window with his forehead while submerged.

1-4 are good then it drops off massively

I read the first book.

I always loved the mental image of a buff bodyguard in sunglasses and plate armour going square against a troll. I mean I know he died, but it was still cool.

No, I didn't watch the movie. I remember what happened to Cirque Du Freak and I ain't going through that again.

I read Hunger Games as a teen and I'm a 1996 zillenial

they genderswapped Commander Root.

Like, normally I would not care about something like that, but it's a whole thing that Holly is the first female LEP officer. Root is hard on her deliberately because he wants her to succeed. It informs their entire relationship and is a big part of Holly's character development and also informs many of her actions in the story. Like, come the fuck on.

I heard Artemis isn't evil in it?

Because again, fuck character development, I guess. A Disney film with a protagonist who isn't squeaky clean? Heaven for fucking bid.

filtered by Ursula Le Guin

Like pearls before swine

Oh, and of course the movie also made Butler and Juliet black, which is unintentionally hilarious. But also whitewashed Holly, which is far less funny. These fuckers just straight don't read the source material they're supposedly adapting, huh?

... Grand Theft Auto but with fairies. Although, since you'd of course be playing as Holly, probably more like True Crime: Streets of Haven City.

artemis is way older

For me? It's this.
Actually what the fuck, grabbing this image I see he wrote another 8 after it originally ended. I already thought the 9th felt borderline ghost-written, has anyone read those later ones and can comment?

if you read young adult fiction as an adult you are either a woman or like 110 IQ max

yeah harry potter was cool when i was 9 but dont you want to read about the book of enoch and egyptian magic and gnostic heresy cults and trying to decode the secrets of the antedeluvian world?

I wanted to drop the first book halfway, but stayed with it under the delusion it'd get better. That entire fucking book is "Ged chases his shadow to an island, gets confronted briefly, then chases his shadow to the next island". I expected some sort of action or substance when he went to an island with a dragon, but the entire thing was literally and unironically resolved in a single paragraph. Ged, being the greatest and smartest person alive, deduced the dragon's name and told him to fuck off. The only interesting bit in the entire book was the few pages where he conveniently met up with the thot from his home island and then had to escape the castle.

Why did they make butler black, he's central asian in the books???

Technically it was because he had a metal plate just beneath the skin, he was basically Hammerhead.

way older

Only by four years. There was a period of 7 years from 2005 to 2012 during which new Artemis Fowl books and new Percy Jackson books were releasing concurrently.

i did not like this at all. i think this was a midwit book and me (clearly an interlectual) preferred Redwall and Narnia books

dont you want to read about the book of enoch and egyptian magic and gnostic heresy cults and trying to decode the secrets of the antedeluvian world?

I mean, yeah? But I got Project Paragon for that.

I can forgive changing Butler to be black. But holy shit why did they cut the troll fight.

Narnia only has 4 good books, the last 3 are shit

genderbent Root

race changed Butlers

cut troll fight

who the fuck did they let in charge of this shit

I read the first of the new series and not only was it shittily written, he introduced a non-binary character and one of the antagonists was a Trump expy. The only other time I felt so betrayed by a childhood author was when Anthony Horowitz made a new Alex Rider book that retconned Scorpia Rising.

Good thread. Also just gonna put this here;
This is a thread about video games mods, dont go removing it.

I assume it was an attempt at diversity. Except Eurasians, unsurprisingly, were not pleased with their representation being erased. And again, they whitewashed Holly, so... Good job, morons.

Well obviously they had to cut the troll fight. We gotta smash the first and second books together after all.

Remember to read the graphic novel, shit was kino.

THEY CUT THE TROLL FIGHT!?

Same shit with lots of YA adaptations.
Hunger games were literally the only YA to get competent movie adaptations, every other film I can think of is dogshit

did anyone play this movie game?
i think i had the pirates of the Caribbean one, and it was terrible

First two HP were good adaptations.

lawyer police

orphanage showers leave particles on the skin so they can be tracked if they ever escape

weird satellite moon controlling the entire city

child me had no idea what the fuck he was reading, but i read it twice just out of sheer wonder.

i remember the end to that book was pretty bleak and heavy
it was nerfed severely in the movie

Oh I wasn't thinking of HP as YA really. In my head YA as a distinct thing began in the 00s and Potter is 1990s.

I read the book but thought I couldn't remember a thing about it.
Thanks for reminding me about the paralegals that are literally parachuting lawyers, turns out something DID stick.

part six of three

HAHA VERY FUNNY

This was a fucking terrible adaptation of a mediocre book

Film ends in sequel hook for sequel that never came

lol

it's pronounced owen btw

YA fiction is fine to read as an adult once in awhile as a palate cleanser. Also, some of the best books of all time are YA. The Hobbit for one.

It was set up though. At the start of the books his skull broke and the medic guy shoved a piece of tank armor in to replace his skull.

I don't remember much from the books but I know I really enjoyed them at the time.
Same deal with this series (except not this lame cover), except the one thing that's stuck in my mind all this time is that time he has to crawl through an air vent that's closing behind him.
Stormbreaker got a film adaption way earlier though, even if it was also sort of crappy. But I guess crappy beats crapping on the source material.

Anyway, Artemis Fowl was better. Holly sex.

This may surprise you, but I read Artemis Fowl when I was a young adult and I'm already past 30.

fairies age differently

there was a big jellyfish in this called the man of war

The movie for this was so fucking terrible it retroactively (almost) ruined my fond memories of this series.

Holly is basically the fairy equivalent of 19 fresh out of police academy right?

For me it's The Amulet of Samarkand (and all the other Bartimaeus books)

I don't remember, but I do remember reading it at recess the week it was released and some kid came up and started berating me for being a fat nerd, so I hit him in the face a few times with the book.

That cant be right.

I looked it up. PJ was translated years after it release while AF was translated almost immediately. So for me it was a bigger gap.

Horse and his boy was neat because it was just a story set in naria without any multi world faggotry. When I was a kid I wished we had more stories like that. Just random stories set in narnia.

Also I really like the relationship between the boy and the girl. CS lewis gave me a tsundere fetish

Alex Rider

Fuck, core memory unlocked. That final scene on the island with the bomb was kino

did you know that cs lewis was very religious and narnia was basically a bunch of christian allegories written as children's books?

Eragon

Wow I must have read those books like seriously about 20 times and never knew there was a game for it

he released a new book in 2023, but no video game of movie adaption this time

It's the best one.
The later ones become christian mumbo jumbo and are just embarrassingly in your face about it

I did. My friend was a huge fan of the books and had this game. You could play it 2p so we played it a ton. It is really bad but you could set guys on fire and they would run around screaming before they would jump of a cliff. That was neat and where 90% of the creative budget went.

I remember in the final fight one person controlled the dragon while the other would shoot. ANd you could just shoot nonstop and fly circles and win

Holy SHIT. I know it's gonna absolutely suck but there's no way I can not read that. Murtagh was a total gigachad, I can't wait for the inevitable character assassination. No idea how he can write another book with him knowing the Word though, it's kinda a capstone plot point

I still need to read the last book. Brisingr bored me to tears so I never read Inheritance.

i just wanted Eragon to get a crack at the elf but he doesn't, so it's not worth reading. At least Artemis definitely got a shot with Holly.

Yes. I was raised christian so it wasnt hard to see.

Susan becoming the one unbeliever and becoming a city girl was funny

The amount of fuck ups is hilariously long, but for me it’s the fact that it’s also clearly an attempt at an adaption, rather than a script they had lying about that they slapped a few names on top of and called it a day.
Something like

my name’s Dom, call me butler and I’ll kill you

Is the sort of shit that only someone who knows and is actively contemptuous of the material would know to write.

either i was retarded or i had a secular upbringing because it was totally lost on me. bets are on the former.

Don't know about you but I'd take eldritch knowledge over bitches any day. Also Eragon was better of being his own man and that bitch was too old

I guess YA book fans are cursed with the worst adaptations forever.

The quality of the source material went down hard so it was a losing battle anyway. But you could tell that around movie 3 they moved away from making movies full of wonder for kids, towards making movies for self-conscious young adults

what about the Ender's Game movie?

to be perfectly fair, we all knew it was going to be horrible even before it started filming, since the casting call for Artemis description was:

Most importantly, Artemis is warm-hearted and has a great sense of humour; he has fun in whatever situation he is in and loves life.

Then first opening scene is Artemis, boy genius criminal, surfing and skateboarding around.

It's an evergreen quiz question

how many books in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy trilogy?

i bet they did this because kids are expected to watch it with their family. the producers didn't want parents getting upset at the main character who is essentially a villain in the first book.

ridicules the taste of others

in the very next line, proves that he has an IQ of 88

tfw no video game about an interregnum era crossing scout being trapped in the old kingdom and going on an adventure

The only thing I remember about this book was the main character getting decked because he didn't have his bodyguard with him, for some reason that moment is permanently lodged in my brain as the embodiment of "talk shit get hit"

My IQ is 1488 tyvm

Fowl

Isn't that just another word for 'chicken'?

they shoulve just put that in the marketing material

evil boy learns humility

or something.

Not him, but the book was garbage so it doesn't really matter how bad the adaptation is.

Ender, autistic Gary Stu, is the best at everything. He gets bullied, overcomes, gets promoted in school, gets bullied, overcomes, gets promoted, get bullied, overcomes, and then the big """twist""" is the final test was actually real and Ender saved all of humanity off screen. Then the ending is even worse with some alien egg or related bullshit.

I liked these

Keys to the Kingdom never got adapted either

nah the book is great ur wrong

Oh, okay. I consneed.

It was a disappointing book. I like Artemis Fowl but the characters in his Hitchhiker book didn't feel like they were written by Douglas Adams.

Eoin Colfer was tasked to write the sequel only because the fifth book has a downer ending.

childhood trauma kino

for me it's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Great taste.

Maybe as a kid.
Doubt its good as an adult though.

The sheer amount of callbacks and pandering seemed to be a mandated thing to me.
Colfer isn't perfect in that regard, but bringing out all the greatest hits in a series that tended to be very forward facing isn't his style.

>Maybe as a kid.

definitely as a kid. and with the internet now you can read fanfic to get your holly/artemis ending colfer kept from you

The goat of footnote. It was my first experience of an unreliable narrator

This series got me hooked on Earl Grey tea from an early age. I still remember specifically one scene where Artemis requests such tea and is brought something that "was certainly not Earl Grey." Good shit man.

based easily influenced anon

You better put most of your money into gold as well anon.

the storytimes were fun

read pretty much every series posted in this thread

can barely remember a thing

Goddamnit I want to contribute better, why do I have to have such a shit memory. Did anyone else read Anthony Horowitz's Power of Five series, I think that was the name? I thought it was pretty cool as a teen.

AF thread

nobody posting the funny webms from the movie.

“You know, Holly, with great power comes great responsibility. Briar Cudgeon called it "the People's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the responsibility of the master to discipline the servant."

Root looks directly at the camera.

"The mud men, the goblins, the dwarfs... It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from a 100 year old Oak. The Day of the Ritual is near, Holly. We'll have every mud man in this country dead or in chains in 10 years, and may God have me shot by someone trying to disarm a bomb this very night if I'm wrong. God bless Koboi labs

that would require me to watch the movie. I will not do such a thing

I was genuinely just about to ask about Power of 5, it was my jam. The last one wasn't out until I was older but I did go back and read it to finish up. Had some pretty dark stuff. Is also how I learned about Mayan head shaping which became relevant again in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Honestly monkeys paw but if there was a live action movie I'd check it out. But then I remember the Alex Rider movie so...

You’re just going to get a bunch of people talking about Alex Rider. Like me.

For me, it was this.

I need a fanfic in which alex plaps that stuck up rich girl until she breaks

I read the first one of these
I remember one line about calcium deficiency vividly but to much else which is really weird

Any Deltora Quest bros here?

They managed to fuck this one up too

Anyone remember a book series where at one point the MC gets Hojo'd by some fantasy race/alien race who want to force them to propagate with some other species? I can't for the life of me remember ANYTHING about it besides this.

The only YA series I've ever read were Goosebumps and Animorphs...

I don't think Goosebumps counts as YA

Oh, you too. What was that shit about Stephanie's true name or something, wasn't she supposed to nuke the magic world?

Then it's actually just Animorphs...

his YA fantasy series of choice didn't cause a moral panic

casuals

never reread kid books as an adult
it ruined "his dark materials" for me.

I completely forgot about it until I was an adult. Do not remember anything about it, but I remember enjoying it.

femc

I only read books that are from a girl's perspective so I don't have to imagine a man's ass

I remember my mom getting me this book to hook me up with reading instead of gaming. Well I got bored after reading like 10 pages so yeah this board is where I ended up.

No one had a panic over this here, was that a yankoid evangelical thing?

was that a yankoid evangelical thing?

Yes, but mainly targeted at the film adaptation.

She did, the later books were about her super-powered reflection going insane and trying to destroy the world. They trap her in a mind-prison where she thinks she's destroying reality but she's just dreaming.

I'll always remember the ending to that, there was a reality bomb in the background that said if someone wasn't willingly sacrificed it would blow up the world, only for Skulduggery to shove a guy he didn't like into it and said he willingly sacrificed the dude, which counted.

yeah, it's her first job iirc

Best fucking adaptation coming through! Also best storytime threads.
Nice. I only just learned last year that this was a series and not a standalone book. As a kid i just accepted that it ended on a cliffhanger.

novel has yordles

protag has ex with them regularly

based

remembers that terrible Disney movie

i didn't watch it.
i want to wallow in the nostalgia of kid me reading these books

All i remember was that romance subplot between the paladin adept woman who could celing walk and the teen she had to safeguard who had used invisibility powers to steal a comfy perverted neet life.
Truly he was our guy.

I don't know how deep I ever got in Artemis Fowl because it was somewhere hazily in elementary school, but I'm going to assume the graphic novels are a second read parallel and not a substitute, yes?

he released a new book in 2023

he what?

paralegals that are literally parachuting lawyers

that's fucking hilarious

fuck I remember that, and the pain eating cryptids and something about spacefuture super calzones

i mean, the story is good, but god damn, the fedora tipping is thick as a wall sometimes, it's downright cringe inducing

one of the characters from my Minecraft comic circa 2012

Do you still have this comic and can you PLEASE story-time it

they are pretty faithful, but i'd say go for the books.
there's plenty of memorable lines that would be a shame to miss out on

well done, artemis, well done

HOWEVER

The ending for that was peak.

"That idiot. He wants his death to mean something.

An end to pain."
"What are you doing-?!"
"Its too late, but dont worry, you wont feel a thing."

Stefan baits a sniper into shooting the floor so it cracks, slowly describing how he and the villainess hes locked into a bearhug crash into a fucking reactor.

Mistborn bros, where we at?

While we're here, am I crazy for thinking books are much better suited for video game adaptations than movies? Novels are usually pretty long, and games are a much less time locked medium than film, so you can cover more ground. So where the hell is Vin's game?

thanks for giving me an idea and making me make a stupid image instead of going to bed

Unfortunately, no…I intentionally left a ton of my old art in a trash can in the middle of nowhere last year, including most of The Blockheads, because I’ve been having an extended mental episode for a while. I regret it. Anon Babble would think it was really gay anyway, though. The thing is that I couldn’t really storytime it in the traditional sense because it was split between Calvin And Hobbes-style weekday and Sunday strips, long and short, and Team Special Olympics features with more story focus.

for me, it was this

the second series was peak
I reread those just a year ago, it's still a lot of fun
and I'll blame picrel for giving me a tomboy/reverse trap fetish

the whole thing ends with an interspecies romance between Artemis Fowl and the Elf, which, we joke about enemies to lovers a lot, but hardly anyone does it.

anyway Foaly and Mulch Diggums as a crime duo is the best matchup

But i can fix her-

Boy she is a literal demon wtf are you doing?

It's the bathroom troll scene from Harry Potter, but it's a human with no magic and a crowd of elves watching it on CCTV

when he puts on the decorative suit of armour

Christ, imagine having the need to defend your tastes in books for strangers online. What an absolute pathetic coward.

Aussie here, did any of you foreign fuckers get Deltora Quest? It was some pure YA Fantasy Kino.

For some reason it's impossible to find full size images of the covers on the internet.

You now remember the young james bond series

even as a teen hes a seanconnery tier womanizer

It even got an anime

I watched the anime while making deep rock galactic rollercoasters if that counts.
I remember wanting to fuck the incompetent witch

Nice, a fellow Aussie. Her other books were good too, especially the Doors one with the Deltora links. I never read that newer Deltora series though, didn't seem interesting or maybe I just grew out of them.

Shame about the film

I read this when I was 11 but can't even read news articles without losing focus now

tfw you will never Sabriel as your real life charter magic tea drinking GF

She's so fucking perfect bros, it's unbelievable

Comic book version of Holly a qt.

I'm not sure why they bothered so many years later

I never read these as a kid because I was sexist as a kid and didn't want to read anything by a woman (I know Garth is male, even after I read the Keys to the Kingdom I didn't read this because >woman mc) but is it any good?

For me it was Rowan of Rin

The third book has Rowan needing to choose which candidate for king of the coastal fish-people will be crowned after they poison his fucking mother

tfw you get older and realise the Clayr are a society filled entirely with gyarus

Why did Narnia get decent movies when most other YA book adaptations are horrid?

The later ones become christian mumbo jumbo

The series was always extremely in your face about it, Aslan is literally the lion of Judah.

Most book adaptions in general fall into the category of attaching the IP onto a prexisting script and then swapping a few names around.
The exceptions only happen when someone with actual power has a vested interest in not fucking everything up

speak anon, SPEAK. Tell me about these gyarus

It's definitely Ian

Imo, having read all of these books... this is the peak of YA kino. Good characters, fantastic world building.
The only YA book series that actually compared was Deltora Quest.

The series was always extremely in your face about it

Exactly, that should tell you how much more overt it gets in the later entries

starts good gets shitty

Yeah, I've read em. It wasn't an issue for me, as a Christian I knew what he was doing. CS Lewis is not subtle, like at all, lol.

Has anyone read this? It was great.

Now that I think about it, Butler looked exactly like Agent 47 in my imagination. I am reasonably sure I read Artemis Fowl before ever getting into the Hitman ps2 trilogy though.

all i read is philosophy, political theory and history like a good chud now. Sometimes a good pulp. Usually in Audiobook form while playing Vydia tho.

You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention

I'm surprised that it got an anime AND manga adaptation.
Like this is probably the only Aussie IP I can think of that got an honest to God adaptation. And its all crickets.

We're talking about books for children anon. Good job for reading books as an adult though.

skin slumping off his body

broken bones sticking out hands

a hole filled with snakes instead of a heart

more YA antagonists needs to look like grindcore cover art figures.

when I read these books I pictured him having the face of one of those WC3 dreadlords.

Good job for reading books as an adult though.

Gotta understand the ideology of my enemy.

You have no idea how much retarded Judith Butler's Queer Ideology shit i had to read through, I pirated it downloaded the fucking .pdfs for free.

Sea of Monsters was dung but Titan's Curse lives rent free in my head because of how dark it got (for a YA book)

everyone dead

Artemis's torture and all that ichor

Nico going dark

Luke turning heel

Labyrinth was ok and Last Olympian was almost kino

They're a clan of all female witches that live in a glacier, all of whom have the ability to see the future to a limited degree.
They're explicitly described as tanned skinned with blonde hair and are near universally beautiful, which is why travellers constantly go to the mountain even when they're not trading.

I don't care.

This one went hard in the later books.

turn Sybil into a black qween who don't need no man

turn Littlebottom into an actual tranny, defeating the whole point of female dwarves

genderswap Vetinari but still call her a lord for some reason

turn Angua into a butch

Carrot isn't a muscular gigachad or the most competent and sincere guy in the watch

only Vimes was decently cast and acted

even Rhianna disowns the series

It's as if they wanted to make it the worst adaptation ever on purpose

just play a grindy routine game like a JRPG or a life simulator or something and put it in audiobook & just listen to it.

They got a game ripoff actually. Game thread. Fear street got a ripoff coming up too. It's called super chillers.

store.steampowered.com/app/2461980/Faunamorph/

Butler suits up in a full on medieval knight's armor

armed with a good ol' morning star

clobbers some roided up troll

Oh yeah, it's kino.

based

I laughed.

But women aren't so different from men, really. The difference within genders is much wider than the difference between them.

this one's a hidden gemerald if you ask me

>But women aren't so different from men

girl romance and boy romance is very different and I dont want to read how the female protagonist gets soaking wet when the villain pins her against the wall.

I think I started reading these books not long after I'd watched Mr Deeds so I just always imagine the butler as John Turturro.

The difference within genders is much wider than the difference between them.

Trust me when I say this; girls write books differently from boys. They're often a lot more monologue heavy. Like, just take a read of Robin Hobb.

Have you caught me or have I caught you?

I agree, especially for Mistborn. Allomancy is begging to get the action RPG treatment.

Anyone read the young bond series? Had some pretty brutal stuff for a kid's book.

girl romance and boy romance is very different

no. romance written by men and romance written by women is different, the perspective has nothing to do with it

In short

they try to make a new kid the protagonist, but he has none of the charm of the original duo, so they come back

Valkyrie has super special soul powers now that Darquesse is gone

then Darquesse returns because time travel, and defeats the Ancient Ones when they launch a full scale invasion of earth

ends with Made in Heaven, literally resetting the universe to one where the ancient ones never existed

I routinely fall for the masculine pen name shtick. Sometimes I mistake a female authoress for a man or vice versa. Onetime I thought an author named Jamie was a girl but it was a boy which was pretty ironic, since my own name was Jamie.

There are men who would get hard at the thought of a woman forcing him against a wall. Women get soft and men get hard but it's basically the same thought process.

JUST DO WHATEVER THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD

TEMPTATIONS GOOD

What faggot shit. The first two books were neat, but the last is just degenerate euphoria.

It can’t top Alex Rider.

Guy kills a mook by throwing a ninjato with a curve that flies under his chin and up into his brain

Villain kills someone offscreen by force-feeding him a cone snail

Guy dies by getting shoved into foliage in a botanical enclosure where literally everything is lethally poisonous

There are men who would get hard at the thought of a woman forcing him against a wall

You know what I mean. And even then some men like a woman that takes charge, not that just violates them

Was the new Percy Jackson TV adaptation any good?

The first series is pretty good. It does a good job of easing younger readers into greek mythology with a monster of the week style, then slips in the overall plot arc to keep them engaged.
It's just a pity that the second series just repalced titans with giants and bloated the cast, with both the new antagonists and protagonists being duller equivalents.
By the time it got to divine gay conversion therapy most of the original target audience would probably have dropped it.

D E I

By the time it got to divine gay conversion therapy most of the original target audience would probably have dropped it.

wait, what. I read a bit of the second series since I found it refreshing to see an actual romantic relationship beyond the love confession. At some point i just didnt pick up the latest release and lost track of the story. Although them traveling around on a flying boat was kind of stupid.
And growing up made it harder and harder to ignore the "america is the center of western civilization" thing.

TV Adaptation

Good

good old lord loss and his autistic chess obsession

imagine being filtered by a 3rd century druid because you suddenly become obsessed with a board game

Yeah, it can go either way. Realising that your "loved favorite" is in fact a mess of stock characters, bad writing and 0% subtlety political or societal messaging can shake a man.
Or it can go the Alice in Wonderland route where what you thought a cute little story for children was in fact full of clever wordplays, references and deep musings you have been too retarded to understand.

It's in the third series, IIRC.
One of the characters is revealed to have been gay all along, but was turned straight by Aphrodite until she finds out her true self.

I remember thinking book 5 was great. Book 6 made me go "what the fuck is this shit" and I never bothered reading the ones that came after.

I always thought that fairy society being ancient and super advanced but also slightly more sexist than contemporary human society was retarded, I don't mind them writing that part out.

Pic related was absolutely fantastic back when I read it in the 2000's, I think it would make an absolutely excellent tv series

I love how he is always calm and collected while doing evil shit, and even pretends to be calm when talking about chess. But he is absolutely seething that ancestor dabbed on him for thousands of games.

mess of stock characters

I think this one is pretty important. You dont know what breaking the 4th wall is or character cliches. What for you is an epic adventure in a fantasy world you can access through our normal world, is isekai 10000th for an adult. You also see this a ton with jap light novels. You can tell a 16 year old is writing his first story and thinks breaking the 4th wall is very clever. And it is not a funny wink or nod at the audience, it is just one guy suddenly screaming they're all stuck in a book. And the joke is "haha how could he know that aint i clever and the characters clueless".

Why would it be retarded? Technological progress doesn't stop society from adhering so tradition and set customs.

I remember reading a book called "The Mansion in the Mist" as a kid.
I really liked that book a lot. Even remembered it into adulthood for some reason, though I was very young when I read it.
Found it when cleaning some stuff out of my parents basement, and read a few pages. Was rather surprised at how terribly simplistic it all was, and how actually just not good it was. It was far more childish than I recall, I think I just enjoyed it so much because it was the first book I really picked up and read on my own. Must have been a pride thing. Didn't really tear me up or anything. Theres plenty of things I got into as a kid and still find to be utter masterpieces, but those are things I got into in my early to late teens more so than when I was 8 or 9 years old.

It aggravates me to no end that the premise of “Harry Potter for New England kids that are unfairly shipped into tard schools because their parents and shrinks hate them” ended up in the hands of an arrogant, sadistic leftist douchebag like Riordan. You can’t write a book like that well if you have such a fundamentally fucked perspective of your own audience. The Percy Jacksons of the real world were years post-Gamergate by the time he started yacking off.

Given their long lifespans and small populations, it makes sense that they'd be more socially entrenched

They also prefer to shit in their backyards, fairies are traditionalists.

The sad part is that he initially wrote the books in support of his son, who was a fan of greek mythology and had dyslexia.
The problem was that the empowering theme took over everything else, and being a mid 2000s series he had a lot of sins to "correct" when his new audience latched on.

That book I genuinely really liked a lot.
Had to read that in Highschool my freshman or sophomore year.
For some reason, the scene where the main character watches a girl push juice out of her mouth in 0 gravity stuck in my mind hard. I reread that scene a while back and while its written a tad comically, it must have struck a cord with me during puberty because I still recall it vividly to this day. Just gently pushing juice out of her mouth with her tongue in 0G, letting it float in front of her face.

The premise of that book is underrated though.

It's bizarre as discworld has plenty of good adaptations too

It's solid for what it is.

because their parents and shrinks hate them

More because the gods for some reason decide to bang poor women and leave behind single moms that can barely handle themselves let alone some ADHD dyslectic kid. Like HP I can see there is a large audience of kids that cant cut it IRL that find solace in reading a story of a kid with similar problems.

The whole "ADHD is actaully because youre a hero and are supposed to fight" was stupid as fuck and I hate how people keep trying to pitch brain problems as a secret superpower. Whether it's autism (rainman) or ADHD. I have ADD and dyslexia myself and it just sucks dick.

Huh. This comic made me realize humans really are literally wired to fuck everything we see. If extraterrestrials came to earth we would try fucking them. Pretty quickly. The whole fetish thing where we are attracted to Fox Maid Marian because we saw it as kids is just our fuck-everything instinct getting fooled into applying itself to fantasy creatures.

Hmm.

Anyone else hate how overused Opal Koboi was?

Imprinting is very good survival strategy, yes.

her coming back once was fitting since she was a powerful opponent. But After that she shouldve been gone. Every time a villain loses they're less interesting.

It would make sense if they were full on traditionalist, but they're not sexist in an Old Testament way they're sexist in a 20th century way. Women seem to have full property rights and legal equality but somehow there has never been a female police officer before.

Yeah but we don't get imprinted to fuck our family members. Which is somewhat unusual. Who's in charge of this differentiation? It isn't me.

This thread reminded me of books we read when I was in school and now that I think about virtually every book and film we watched in school involved boys ending up completely naked in front of girls. I don't think it's a coincidence

the series going from "yeah it's pretty dangerous but also fun kid's stuff" to blowing off a pixie's wing and your spoiler tag... that was kinda nuts. even butler being brutalized in the first book didn't feel insanely violent, just desperate

little bit yeah
her dynamic with foaly was fun for one book and then became grating

your teacher was observing your reactions. If you looked more interested you couldve gotten some teacher pussy

Book 4 worked, since she was just a minor side villain in 2, but after that she very rapidly wore out her welcome.
The extinctionist subplot was possibly the most pants on head retarded concept I've seen. I get that Colfer was trying to distract the enraged shippers at the time, but that wasn't necessary

She also kept the boys' changing room door wide open during swim class but the girls' changing room door was closed

Tried reading the first book but couldn't get past the first 50 pages or so

I tell you what, picking up the 4th book in the series and trying to read it for a book report as a 10 year old that had basically never read any novel before, much less the first 3 books in the series, was an act in futility. I could hardly tell what was going on or who any of the characters were. Characters would come and go and I'd have a vague sense of "I think that name was mentioned before but I'm tired of flipping back 30 pages to figure out who they are."

was His Dark Materials the series with The Old Children as the baddies, or was that some other 2001-era YA series I've forgotten

those boys were only 17

Can't believe that sick fuck

you know those moms are just mad that teacher stole their virginity before they could get it themselves

i just wanted Eragon to get a crack at the elf but he doesn't

Good to know. Read the first 2 or 3 books as a kid. Seems i dont need to read the rest.

the books get worse (i dont know how he did it,but he managed). Half of it is him cryjerking it that he cant get elf puss.

22 years

man, yanks are insane. don't get me wrong, all "noice" aside, teachers shouldn't be allowed to fuck their students, but there should be a sense of proportion between crime and punishment

Girls read Warrior Cats instead, retard. Don't believe me? Ask any English-speaking woman aged 25 to 35. They have literally all at least heard of Warrior Cats if they aren't from podunk nowhere.

If you ever want to make women in that age bracket seethe like nothing else can, say you think Brambleclaw is cool.

Holly a cute

Not him, but all my female teachers were crazy feminazis who made us read the most feminist garbage possible, and most of them were really old.
The only one that was young and hot was my android programming teacher, but she even got pregnant on our second year and on our fourth year with her second child.

android programming teacher

I forgot kids can browse Anon Babble now.

stealing a virginity that belonged to their mom wont go down easy. I bet the judge was a woman and saw her own son's virginity get stolen by a teacher

That was wind singer

In one of the books Artemis gets temporarily aged up to a teenager and Holly gets aged down to the roughly equivalent age. They VERY nearly fuck on the spot.

I need to get back into reading
I used to read so much in HS and even in college
but I always try to read before bed and instantly fall asleep

They are still a massive hit among children.

that age change in one book

that one random rich girl that's similar to artemis at the start of the books

nothing ever happens

Come on colfer, the 13 year olds that read your first book are not 16 year old horny teens. You cant deny them forever.

I forgot kids can browse Anon Babble now.

Obviously that was when I was getting my programming degree, anon, you don't get taught android programming on highschool here.

Thanks bro. Blowing the dust off so many memories itt

They literally shove plot threads from later books that are supposed to slowly humanize him into the first twenty minutes. He feels less like an evil mastermind (who you later realize is just really fucked up but a good guy) that happens to be a child, and more like a 120 IQ ten year old with money.

wait, but he literally was the coolest character. I'd have never guessed that to be controversial in any way.

why yes, I did read those books for a girl, how could you tell?

We should get kids to read C. S. Forester and Louis L'Amour. Would fix a lot of the gay and retarded problems going around these days.

that hairline at 59

Lucky bastard

What got you into reading? - I mean obviously something went wrong somewhere along the line because, here we are - but, for me, it was my English teacher. The English department were pretty much a husband-wife team, super enthusiastic about their jobs and their subjects. Miss you, Mrs Shearring, you recommended half the books in this thread

I saw myself losing my son before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do to reach him

Was this teacher an actual succubus? What the fuck was going on here?

>why yes, I did read those books for a girl, how could you tell?

poor anon. Maybe you can get some milf to suck you dry with your knowledge

My favorite series growing up:

1. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

2. Pendragon by D. J. MacHale

3. The Keys to the Kingdom by Garth Nix

4. Graceling Realm by Kristin Cashore

5. Bartimaeus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud

6. Books of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau

7. The Maze Runner series by James Dashner

8. The Atherton series by Patrick Carman

9. Deltora Quest books by Emily Rodda

And then the popular ones everybody knows like Harry Potter, Eragon, and Percy Jackson.

Forgetting someone, Anon Babble?

The cute little boy she could dote on turned into a man. It's like a father seeing his daughter get fucked silly and realizing she'll end up like the college sluts he fucked in his youth

I had enforced reading time after breakfast every morning, and I guess I ended up liking it

why yes, I did read those books for a girl, how could you tell?

At least you didn't read Twilight to try and make conversation with girls, those books sucked shit.

Does anyone know century? I cant find it (since century is impossible to search). It's about 4 kids from all across the world that have to stop villains in 4 different cities. Rome, NY, beijing and some other city i forgot. Every book is a different city

I had the Faraway Tree read to me as a bedtime story as a young kid and we already had all the HP books that were out and I just read those over and over.

Personally I got really fucked up by reading the entire Ender's Game series. I cannot believe how dirty they did Bean and Petra and Peter in that.

Holy FUCK I could never recall who wrote this or what it was called. Pure kino, honestly.

I was too confused to pick it up by the cover's extra spacing between the letters so it looked like "Deltor A Quest". Like deltor was supposed to be a verb or something.

The mother wanted to be the one doing the fucking with her son

having good parents who read to me a lot before I could do it myself, being a very fast reader and always craving new experiences, and having a touch of the tism that made me prefer solo activities.
and unlike vidya, reading time was not restricted so it came naturally

I got obsessed with the 2005 adaptation of The War of the Worlds and ended getting a paperback of the original novel at a scholastic book fare. I read the entire thing in an afternoon. I sort of surprised myself, realizing I could just read something and enjoy it. So I made a habit of it. Most of my teenage years were made up of classical science fiction, Orson Scott Card, and WW2 memoirs/histories.

Jesus fuck, no!

ctrl+f redwall

1 result

I always knew you guys were fucking plebs

literally cures cancer

turns vegetarian when his writer does

eats meat once the writer stops being a vegetarian

90% is just tolkien poured into a youth literature book with cliches

only got published because his mom is in the industry

glad I read it during downtime in an MMO. wouldve hated wasting good time on it

I count myself lucky never having read any of the books nor seen any of the movies.
and "for a girl" makes it sound worse than it was. It was her recommendation and I thought they were okay. If I really didn't like them I could have dropped them without a problem, we had enough other common interests

You left out the most kino part of Annabeth's dad swooping in on a WWI fighter plane firing celestial bronze bullets.

mfw people tried unironically pretending that twilight was unfairly maligned because of sexism

One of the funniest things about getting older was seeing revisionist history attempts fall flat on their ass.
Sure, Twilight got mocked by almost every corner of the internet, but the ones giving it from both barrels were feminists appalled by both how fucked up the relationship was, and by how many women thought it was healthy.

This was a formative series for me that probably contributed towards creating whatever brand of discount autism I have and ruined my life by engrossing me in fantasy and the hopes of being a writer.
I think Starcraft Brood War was the other thing that got me.

Percy Jackson had a problem with descriptions.
I'm no Anon Babble fag so I don't know how to describe it but for comparison, as a kid, I read harry potter, percy jackson and artemis fowl (and all of the sharpe books but that's not relevant). I have a clear mind picture of hogwarts, the fowl mansion and the underground world of the fairies, but I have no clear picture of camp half blood.

He physically and emotionally abuses Squirrelflight.. He begins to hate and emotionally neglect his children as a whole just because one of them was secretly adopted. And worst of all, he got a fiery ginger tomboy wife and turned her into a stuttering, apologetic yeswoman who loses all personality and stops appearing in the story.

I got obsessed with the 2005 adaptation of The War of the Worlds

How does this happen?

Did any of y'all read pic related as a kid?
I'm sure it would be unreadable garbage to me now but I totally fell in love with the concept when I first read it.

I read the one that ended with a timeskip and thought it was the last one.
Can I get back into it if I don't remember any of the plots?

And worst of all, he got a fiery ginger tomboy wife and turned her into a stuttering, apologetic yeswoman who loses all personality

tomboy destruction? Thats just vile

i hate your parents.
i had my parents and grandparents and other family read to me from infancy. avid reader at a very young age.
i read to both my kids from infancy and both of them are into books all the time and have reading abilities far surpassing the majority of their age group, even if you only include white kids.

that's all it fucking takes.

as soon as the baby (the baby you are interacting with and talking to and loving, not just a permanently swaddled blob in a bassinet) is old enough to focus on something for more ten seconds, begin reading to them

when you're doing animal noises and colors and shit, do letter sounds too, it's really easy and kids absorb that stuff like a sponge

have a couple favourite books you repeatedly read

point at the words as you read them

encourage them to finish sentences they like by pointing to the last couple words without saying them

do this for more and more words as they get comfortable

if a word is odd sounding, explain why those letters are doing that

provide tips on how to sound out words with letter sounds and knowledge of wierd combos

nearly shit yourself when your 3 year old drags a book into the living room and commands you to watch and listen as they read aloud

my dad always talks about that last one, never understood why he was so amazed by it until i went through the exact same thing

psst

hey, kid

you like isekai right?

Yes, there's some new characters and shit but really these are books for tweens, they don't really require a lot of thinking to enjoy

settle down anon, i was read to. I'm familiar with Moon-Face and the Saucepan Man

youtube.com/watch?v=yUYig5GSOoQ

Behold, the most comically un-adaptable series of young adult books in existence

I ended up dropping the series at the point where the weird crab monster sprayed bubbles filled with flesh eating parasites into the faces of all those aeroplane passengers and the main character transformed into a wolf person, I think this was after the point his dead friend was possessed by his ancient ancestors spirit and his body was turned into girl.

Did anything interesting happen in the, apparently, 6 books after that point?

It's extremely generic. But comfy

Sounds like kind of like Ready Player One without all the pop culture references.

bro, it's a children's book series about a 12 year old outsmarting all the adults in this world and in the other world. it was a fine series for children but cmon.

if you were properly read to it wouldn't have taken a teacher to instill a joy of it in you. i will admit i react harshly to the practice of "fuck it, the schools are there for that" any time i think i see it in action

lol

animorphs is up there too, especially how it will flip flop between silly teenage drama and "we sent that squad of disabled kids to their death... and for what?"

Well, you're quite, quite wrong in your assumption.

My sister and her friends were crazy about this shit so I decided it was lame and never read it. Anon Babbleirgins are just gay and enjoy books about rich handsome boys and fairy girlbosses

I was extremely disappointed by this series. It had an intriguing start but then it just got worse and worse.

one? he literally got cucked all the way in the way a cuckoo does it. I (and realistically he) could have forgiven that if she'd been the one to tell him at some point, but she wasn't. There was also no real reason to not tell him immediately after everything they'd been through together. It probably doesn't help that I also hated the kids, particularly the blind one, so I don't really remember what happened after that

The guy turning himself into a werewolf to command his peers, but still retaining his humanity was the peak of the series. At some point they turn into not-god and restart the universe from scratch. Im not making that up

Yes. Squirrelflight is basically a main character in the middle of the series that is extremely notable for being brash, loud, and loyal. She ends up with the son of the series first main villain, who is desperate to prove he's nothing like his father. Which the story wants you to believe, before you realize that he is exactly like him, and regularly stops talking to and shunning anyone who even minorly slights him, including his wife and kids. She is forced to apologize to him for letting him think her sister's children (which she wasn't allowed to have) were his when it's sort of implied they were having trouble having kids. Him neglecting these kids and the reaction one of them had to it directly leads to the child murdering someone. At no point does anyone in the story acknowledge that maybe this was at least somewhat his fault.

didnt use his knowledge to fuck all his sisters friends

youre the one thats gay

apparently the book was written by a homeschooled teen so it checks out

And to think, at the time, I believed the end of his Vampire series was where he jumped the shark

It was more the marketing campaign leading up to it, and it was a decent film in the end. Back in the day trailers used to try to be tantalizing as well as informative, instead of just blasting you with snapcut tiktok engagement fodder while sodomizing your ears with either boonbabble or a phoned-in female cover of a classic rock song.

It's more that he doesn't even attempt to talk to her about it. He gets mad that his tomboy wife acts like a tomboy when she tries to apologize, and just neglects her harder.

This is irrelevant to the fact that after that Squirrelflight just stops being a character, even after they make up.

Let's not forget fucking Remnants. That shit got absolutely existentially horrific. I remember one sequence where they were literally trapped in a Bosch painted world. So many fates worse than death in this series.

I kind of liked that he tried and failed to become vegetarian, I don't think I've seen another story where that happened. People are too hard on Eragon, yes it's generic fantasy with literally the plot of Star Wars but that's what I wanted to read when I was 14.

no, i'm wrong in this one particular instance, maybe. my assumption is usually tragically accurate.

I was reading a lot of classic sci-fi and fantasy when I was ~14 and mom bought me collection with "I am legend" and pic rel in it. Left quite an impression on me, let me tell you. I blame at least a couple of weird fetishes developing on these stories.

Eragon is the literary equivalent of a milquetoast powerfantasy manga. You know the ones with names like "I am the strongest in the fantasy world but still jobless".
They have the exact same vibe.

Well, you should be more careful before shooting your mouth off insulting peoples' parents next time.

I played it on PS2.

still hurts when I remember he's gone

I think the problem is that it took 8 years to fully release. So I went from a young kid that thought any fantasy was awesome to an adult that read LOTR in the meantime. It doesnt help that the early adventure bit of the books is a lot better than the late book politics and wars. (although a lot of YA suffers from that. HP also gets shit when its not a series about the wonders of a magical parallel society and instead is about magic hitler)

lots of bits in the books like that i enjoy

i want to be vegetarian

actually nah it's not working for me

ooh cool knuckle dusters, i want them

"nae, race-locked gear laddie, dwarf only"

well fuck that i'll turn my actual knuckle skin into hardened chunks with magic

oh damn the evil king basically has a brain issue that makes him incapable of compassion or empathy lemme patch that up

and he couldn't handle the sudden incredible grief and nuked himself, cool, that works, easier than trying to punish a magically reformed man, imagine nasuada dealing with THAT moral panic happening alongside the registry for magic users

That makes a lot of sense. Those manga tend to be written by young first time authors that just recycle all their favorite shit into a new story with minimal originality

the entire series is on archive.org, look it up and give it a read it would take anons a few days of reading to hit the whole series

it was a great series as a kid, shame about the movie

Butler was the cool character everyone liked. When he was replaced, the serious sucked. Not worth reading anything after that.

no, missing one shot out of a hundred is not a reason to adjust how i aim

>>actually nah it's not working for me

he eats meat because he's starving in a desert. It was either eating them or killing them by sucking out their life force with magic

first book is fun and campy but the rest turns to power fantasy too quickly

movie was a travesty. both artemis fowl and eragon

this is a screenshot of the books I finished reading most recently, descending order.

Eragon solidified my hatred towards elffags and stories which claim to be about dragons, but drop them into background half way through.

Nah it was quite innovative in regards to the magic system. I thought that was great stuff.
Also the roran sideplot was fucking great.
The elflands literally being college, that was weird

what's there to talk about at that point? it's over. there was time for talking all the years prior if that's what she wanted. and he gets mad that his tomboy wife had the biggest foidmoment of her life when she chose deception over trust.
I think the root cause is bad writing that makes the characters behave in ways they should not, given what we know about them, but it's her that got hit with that, not him.

yeah once you have to eat meat to survive that's usually when vegetarianism isn't working for someone.
notice he doesn't go back to that lifestyle once out of the desert, he admits there wasn't much benefit to it in the first place.

REDWALL!!!

reading modern fantasy

Come on people, have some self respect.
Too contemporary, start with the greeks.

My 8 year old just read through all the 50+ of the animorphs and the extras like the visser and ellimist books, she loved them lol heavy as fuck concepts I think she was a little sad when it was over

It's not high art or anything but it's better than modern isekai garbage. For one there are multiple male characters who all do cool things, instead of just being one generic male protagonist with a harem. And two there are no fucking video game interfaces.

I might as well ask in this thread:
There's a book series I remember reading as a kid that I can barely remember
Three protagonists: a boy from modern times, girl from medieval times, and ginger boy from the future
I think gemstones were a big part of the magic system
Anyone know the name of the series?

Can confirm. I was homeschooled and a pastors' kid and this series got a hard "NO" from my parents because, "It was an atheist series." I even remember talking with some other kids about books. Someone brought up they were reading Golden Compass and I was all shocked.

"b-buh the authors an atheist!"

"so?"

10 year old me pretty much had a heart attack on the spot.

You're tiresome.

I liked that story about a guy getting isekai'd because he didn't get off the train at the last stop. Or killing the guy who was isekaid to his world, forgot how it goes. Interesting take on "that somehow creepy guy in public transit"

I like the part where they're in the desert and he tries to transmute sand into water and it almost kills him, and then he realizes it's way easier to just telekinetically pull the groundwater up.

book called "The God of the Forest"

its mystery fiction slop

This kind of shit is why I promised myself I would NEVER title my works something mislading

first book (and to a lesser extent, the entire series) has insanely hamfisted feminist messaging, the literal inciting incident of the entire plot only happens because Holly is being overworked on purpose so Root can prove to the rest of the LEP that a woman can make it in Recon, and the fact that basically every character except Artemis, Butler, Foaly and Root constantly underestimate her because she's a woman comes up in basically every book

movie ruins it all by gender bending Root for literally no reason, so Holly is literally just incompetent rather than a victim of systematic sexism

I read this series when it was coming out with my fourth grade girlfriend and her friends and we started roleplaying as warrior cats on one of those old as fuck forums I was the only guy and I think they all turned out trans or furry or weird as fuck

my fourth grade girlfriend

woah, chad walking through

I prefer Mariel of Redwall myself. Thee animated series adapting the first book was kino.

yeah I'm somewhat of a chad we alsotraded pokemon and passed notes

Got kindle unlimited again for free and there is so much rpg lit garbage and women erotic fiction it's impressive.
Just finished this, amusing garbage. Enjoyed the unabashed autism world building, barely disguised fetishes and self wankery. It's like staring into authors retarded soul, can't help but be endered by it desu.

hahaha, anon hangs out with girls! what a fag!

And two there are no fucking video game interfaces.

The System being in a book is a nigh perfect marker of it being absolutely shit.
Litrpg I can handle, isekai can work, but fuck whichever lazy asshole decided that they can bypass any worldbuilding work by just slapping in The System and calling it a day.

God of the woods was completely forgettable. That's not necessarily the same as bad but even though I read it as recently as 15 books ago, I had to google to see what the plot of that one was.

if you didn't read this book lower your tone when talking to me about clones

in hindsight it's a little like hanging out with girls but at a ballet class so yeah it's a little gay sure whatever number of dicks I've sucked? Irrelevant

chicks all over his dick

ends up on Anon Babble

damn bro. You went straight from the dense-as-a-brick anime protagonist to NEET failure

I knew this looked familiar. took me a while before I remembered that I fucking loved the second book

with parents that own a publishing company from what I've heard

I've read all of the fantasy classic already

Let me guess, you speed high on those aptitude test things you took as a kid, and they said you had the vocab and reading comprehension of a high schooler when you were in elementary?
Are you literally me? I read all the Splinter Cell books and even them I know there was a downgrade when they went from writing in first, to third person

House of my mother was interesting because it's a true crime book of someone my own age, which is an interesting perspective. She heavily identified with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix while she was being abused and I can see why. Her story shares several commonalities with that book.

It's a bit cliche, but we all have known our own Dolores Umbridge. Her story mirrors Order of the Phoenix in other ways. Her older brother gets pulled off the football team just like Harry got banned from Quidditch for spurious reasons. He also does the equivalent of doing an interview about his experiences with Luna Lovegood of the Quibbler.

Just interesting is all. Almost makes me think she just made up the story instead of bothering to write what really happened to her. why pour out your heart for strangers when you can just rip off harry potter?

Even A True Story?

used to read lots of books as a kid and early teen

now I basically never read them

It's not like I couldn't just go pick up a book, but I lack the executive function required to make me do anything other than doomscroll. It's sad.

The funny part was, there were a lot of Christians who decried it as being Satanic because it featured magic. I imagine they're the sort who probably own multiple bibles but have never read it in their lives outside of a passage the priest has them turn to on Sunday morning.

My Dad, he used to read me books when I was little and when I got to about 10-11 we'd go to the library and we'd pick out books he'd recommend mostly sci-fi and fantasy: Heinlein, Asimov, Michael Moorcock.

I was reading Epic of Gilgamesh ongoing, as it was being unearthed.

just put on an audiobook while you doomscroll

tfw this series was soft disclosure and they ruined the third book for it

yfw they burned all of his papers when he died because lel

yfw there's a little bit of what the third book was supposed to be, unfinished ofc, and we only have it because some guy who liked Lewis personally took it from the things being burned

Get a Kindle. Reading has become a worse addiction than vidya, ever since I've got it.

I remember loving the first few books and then getting turned off when it turned into endless edgy misery porn.

>>yfw they burned all of his papers when he died because lel

what makes someone do that

500+ pages of this

I’m glad I never read it.

mmm, if I listen to audiobooks while doing something else that requires reading I tend to eventually zone out and miss some chunk of the story. But yeah, I could do that.

I got a nook glowlight 4 last year and rooted it, but it's sat completely unused in the other room.

I think this may be caused by the same underlying issues that've also made me play almost no games in recent years. Just no drive to do almost anything fun.

Good shit, peaked at the third book but only truly fell off once Artermis gets replaced by his autistic twin brothers.

Gigakino, will be inflicting this on my kids when they're a bit older.

Absolutely crashed and burned, subtle knife was actually good though.

Also great, Hester is my favourite yandere.

True schizokino like only a German can make. Loved his other books, especially about the cat trying to scam his life back from an evil scientist.

Great fun, spent about an hour freaking out about the opening few pages of Lord Loss when I was 10 or so.

Unbelievably boring dogshit, with tiny exceptions like when Eragon's cousin picks up a hammer and creates an actual mountain of corpses by just repeatedly bonking imperial drones on the head.

There is no image that I possess that fits this thread. Maybe I'll run and find some more good Holly fanart...?

You...You understand me.
They should've gotten together right at the end, but the fact that they didn't mean I get to eat GOOD on fanfics.

Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler , my goat...Even the netflix series was mostly solid. NPH and the triplets, bare minimum, were excellent castings. Patrick Warburton wasn't who I'd imagined when I pictured LS, but now nothing else feels right.

Need the source on this. The novel, not the image.

Does nobody know the series I'm asking about?

"""They"""" didn't like getting outed by the Screwtape Letters

from the preface of The Dark Tower (not the King series)

C.S. Lewis died on 22 November 1963. In January 1964 I went to stay wit Dr and Mrs Austin Farrer at Keble College while Lewis's brother, Major W.H. Lewis, began clearing out the Kilns (the family house) preparatory to moving into a smaller house, where I was later to join him. The Lewis brothers felt little of that veneration for manuscripts so typical of many of us, and Major Lewis, after setting aside those papers which had a special significance for him, began disposing of the others. Thus it was that a great many things which I was never able to identifiy found their way on to a bonfire which burned steadily for three days. Happily, however, the Lewis's gardener, Fred Paxford, knew that I had the highest regard for anything in the master's hand, and when he was given a great quantity of C.S. Lewis's notebooks and papers to lay on the flames, he urged the Major to delay till I should have a chance to see them.

game is fucking retardkino

honorable mention to his ww2 fantasy with holocaust powered nukes

As a kid I always wondered if they could adapt the Artemis series into a game, but as an adult I always wanted this to be adapted instead.

Wait nevermind I finally remembered
It was the Diadem series

This was good stuff but I really found the orphanage work camp ark tedious af.

i was in the exact same situation, now i'm reading a bit, even tho 50% of the Anon Babble suggestions i tried were fucking horrid

what if i'm a cheap fuck that downloads everything from the internet?
what's a decent, cheap e-reader for that?

your phone

I regret investing into this so much it's unreal.

The system shit is weird
it started as "you have a menu in isekai" and then the chinks and koreans took it and made it an entire genre where it doesn't even have to be isekai, one day you can just wake up with "a system" that gives you quests and other retarded shit and then it's an entire novel about some korean or chinese dude grinding IRL

but mr retarded evil strawman afrikaaner, why is it wrong that there are Indian politicians in England if the people voted for them, hmmm?

I don't know mr hicklib version of Robert E. Lee maybe it's because hostile actors replaced the nation's voterbase with a flood of subcontinental biomass. God, Turtledove is such a Jewish hack.

I read the first 3 books and stopped there, assuming they were the only ones.
I'm glad I did lol.

tell me more about why you regret it and i'll tell you why i regretted investing into a Anon Babble rec

There is a Calibre PC app that allows you to transfer and manage files on Kindle. You can open or convert any text file on it. I used z-library to get my shit. Kindle unlimited has a free trial with many classic fantasy books available. Terry Pratchett for example. You can use Kindle app on phone too. Many ways to download from fanfiction website too.
I tend to read at night and in the dark, the low light of e-reader is way easier on my eyes and sleep, I've noticed.

Read Destroyermen NOW

A WW2 American destroyer gets caught in a freak storm in the middle of a battle with a japanese battleship

the storm isekais the ship and the crew to a different world where a race of peaceful furry people is hunted by carnivorous scalies

americans become protectors of the furry people

book makes it clear that the furry women just walk around with their tits out

a guy rapes one of the furry women because he thinks a crewman who became close friends with a furry girl is actually banging her, but their friendship is platonic

turns out that the japs also got transported to this alternate reality and team up with scalies because muh samurai honor tells them to finish the fight

also other shit happens but sadly by reading got cut short as I only had a couple books and the whole series was not translated at the time

I really, REALLY want to start properly reading books again and finishing this series is one goal

Holy shit I have never encountered anyone else who ever read this, 10/10.
My absolute favorite instance of >humanity took a different tech path then the rest of the universe and once they are given the tech they missed, the applications are terrifying.

Has anyone else read the Clan of the Cave Bear books? I got into them because I loved the stone age in Age of Empires and about halfway through the book got hit with intimately described sex scenes, this was before I'd even had an erection and I can remember wondering why my body felt so weird.

we've banished you once off of these boards, and we will do so again furfreak

whole series was not translated at the time

Just so we are clear, it's translated now? The fact GATE actually got a naval spin off I'll never get to read could make this exactly what I desire.

millennial unc thread

cringe

the series starts strong as shit, but the last 3 are an absolute mess.

Then they introduce time travel.

Also this is pretty fun too I think

alt history shenanigans where H. G. Wells and some other famous people from that time end up getting into weird shenanigans like time travelling actually becoming invented and turned into popular entertainment like theatre or cinema or a fucking alien invasion in victorian times

>Then they introduce time travel.

The Destroyermen series is a series of alternate history books, written by American writer and historian Taylor Anderson. The fifteen books in the series

FIFTEEN

Jesus anon I don't have that kind of time, also the author is clearly English what language translation were you needing?

also artemis gets aged up while holly gets de-aged, they make out, and spent the rest of the series regretting it.

It's retarded as shit.

Then artemis dies, and they give a clone of his all his memories, and the series ends with holly recounting the events of book 1 to clone artemis, to refresh his memory.

But this isn't even a furry book
The americans are hesitant about banging furries (or at least they were when I was still reading it) and treated a crewman raping one as an act of huge betrayal

but youre the one all excited about furries with their tits out

I remember what happened to cirque du freak

that series ALSO jumped the fucking shark. The last 3 books were horrendous.

god, those storytime threads were so comfy. Shame about the end of the series.

Interesting one. May I get a quick rundown?

I didn't read this series, but I did read picrel.

The hunger games was decent, but I much prefered Suzanne Collins' earlier book series, Gregor the Overlander. This was my first book obsession as a kid. I spent so much time fantasizing about this.

Do any other anons have an ereader?
I got a kobo clara color a few weeks ago and I love the thing.

Okay I added it to the reading queue. When I get to it, who knows?

Animorphs

Deltora Quest

Artemis Fowl

Redwall

Percy Jackson

Eragon

The Vampire's Apprentice/Cirque Du Freak

A Series of Unfortunate Events

being a 90s kid into books was so fucking kino.

color

you need to get an e-ink reader to not mess with your eyes.

thank fucking god i stoppd after time paradox, idk what iw ould have done if i kept reading this gabrage

for me

started the dune series, just finished book 2

started the Dresden Files, dropped it after book 3 after getting spoiled on how the writer killed off one of my favourite characters because she was based on his (now ex) wife

read a series called Jade City

re-read the Dark Tower series

read the Overlord LNs

Anon I…

Isn't the Time Paradox the one where they introduce time travel, and artemis and holly make out?

The next book is the final entry, and has a fuckton of sexual tension between them.

I got into audiobooks, since I can pop them on while wagecucking.

world war 1 but the germans and austrian use steam machinery while the english and the russians use genetically alterered/mutated animals and biopunk ww1 technology
protags are Archduke Ferdinand's son and a spiffy english girlie who poses as a lad to get into the army

There's unironically a plot point where the vampire leaves and the MC girl becomes ultra depressed for 6 months. Over someone she was dating for less than 6 months.

ww1 but the central powers have mechs while the allies use biopunk. the protagonists are the austrian crown prince who is on the run because the assassination of the emperor was a german conspiracy to get the war started and they want to tie up loose ends and a bong tomboy who enrolls in the air force and ends up on the Leviathan. She has to pretend to be a guy for that, obviously.
also the chinks got the best cover

Well shit, time to add it to the reading list.

tldr quantity vs quality Characters and setting in general didn't have enough umph to carry through that many books after first 3. Plus it's was awkward to run d&d sessions in because of ridged story structure and setting rule quirks.
It's a mediocre pulp fantasy that felt unrewarding to immerse yourself into. Actually writing quality is also bottom of the barrel in majority of the books. And now it's all but abandoned in favor of Forgotten Realms (justifiably desu)

Too much fantasy. An all fantasy diet is a sign of you-know-what.

Artemis goes back in time to stop himself as a child from before even the first book from selling a rare animal he stole off to be killed, as it turns out it was the literal only way to fix his mother. He goes "wow I fucking hate this retard" when he meets himself and makes out with Holly.

Hester is my waifu
Need Mortal Engines anime immediately

I spend way too much time engaged with shitheads IRL while wagecucking in the service industry. Books are my way to relax and not have to think about reality.

You can read fantasy novels but you can't read nothing but fantasy novels.

Well, maybe women can.

Yes, Kindle Paperwhite. I was very sussy about them because of early 2000 experience, but these days they are absolutely a must-have for any avid reader. You can upload your own files ez. My eyes thank me for it every day.

The author did a funny prank where the sixth book is all about time travel and the final book begins with Opal using a time paradox to break out of prison, but the book literally called "the Time Paradox" is the one about demons.

isn't the Lost Colony the one about demons?

I would've never picked Leviathan if not Anon Babble, the covers are godawful.

Yeah, it turns out I'm just an idiot.

I dropped it around the start of the third book because I didn't like their daughter

those for my translation are fine but I did go "wtf" when I got the originals later

does this reverse trap end up gently handholding a cute boy she likes

Just wanted to let you know that you are, indeed, based

because the assassination of the emperor was a german conspiracy to get the war started

Not exactly too far from how it went down in real life, honestly.

You missed out on the amazing ending of book 4

yes

god dammit anon Im in

missed a literature thread

God fucking damn it

I read fanfiction and encyclopedias on top of that. Also I'm a gay dad body bear top.

covers

now that the thread's in autosage; ENTER

Let me guess, you speed high on those aptitude test things you took as a kid, and they said you had the vocab and reading comprehension of a high schooler when you were in elementary?

Yes, good guess.

5th row or gtfo

You would think the the best selling books series in the world would actually care about the covers.

you just can't handle the SOVL
and dutch isn't a real language, jesus christ

for

I like 6 and 7. JP and CN are nice but not very Harry Potter.

The two above the jap line are just beyond disgusting. I cant believe that passed the editors

I didnt know hte flemish and dutch had their own covers.

>and dutch isn't a real language, jesus christ

I liked that we got little single creatures as icons for every book. The real life pictures instead of drawn art sucks though

Fair but it does pick up again when Hester starts bashing heads in with a typewriter.
The prequels with the bi speckled Trill-Co-ordinator Ubermensch Scriven girl (Fever) aren't quite so good but still pretty comfy

You had me at tomboy
Tangentially related but I remember having to read a book in school, not YA, it was set in a school, I remember almost nothing about it except that the twist at the end was that the main character, who the reader is lead to believe is a boy, turns out to be a tomboy. For whatever reason that stuck with me

I don't remember a single thing from this book, except that it was cool that the title looks the same upside down

there was this series I read as a kid. I think it was new and releasing at the time, so around 2003-2004, but it featured Merlin as a YA protagonist, learning magic.