This game is the equivalent of a rated R marvel movie and it sucks ass

This game is the equivalent of a rated R marvel movie and it sucks ass

Dude what if we took OoT, a game beloved by every age demographic and made it for only edgy 13 year olds with zero nuance?

Dude what if we made all the characters ugly as shit, so gritty!

Dude what if we made link a wolf? That way he has even less tools/moves at his disposal, we can spend less time designing the game!

Dude what if instead of adding new, interesting items we just made 1.1 versions of the items? So the hookshot can be used TWICE dude!

Dude what if we took OoT's time travel mechanic and alttp's dark world, and just... Ignore it whooaaah! So like instead of spending time doing anything we'll change the piss filter to a darker, more dehydrated piss and make you play as the wolf!

Dude what if we conclude the game with some of the laziest, most braindead dungeons in the entire game? We can just make the Twilight and Hyrule Castle loooook cool for the first 10 seconds of their existence, that way we can just bullshit the areas while the player is still tricked into thinking they're good areas! It's not like they're going to realize that the Twilight actually sucks ass and uses a one room gimmick for like 10 rooms right? Or that Hyrule Castle has... ummm... I think a switch you step on to raise a thing? and uhh... something else I think...

Midna is the only good thing in this entire video game. If your review of this video game is anything but "yea the game sucks but midna hot doe" you are worse than a retard, you are a midwit. Twilight Princess is the ultimate midwit zelda, maybe even midwit game in general. It's a truly superficial experience.

OoT remains the best Zeldo, sorry!... hahahaha

8.8

I liked it a lot. I still replay it but I don't replay Wind Waker

Okay, we really need to put a moratorium on "hurr hurr it's like a Marvel movie" as a point of "criticism". Stop that, you brainless drone.

I agree with all of this, but twili midna is so fucking hot

zero reading comprehension

so this is the power of twilight princess fans

no one's actually going to read your post dude

I don't really care to defend this shit but some of your arguments are really asinine

Dude what if instead of adding new, interesting items we just made 1.1 versions of the items?

there were several unique items like the spinner and the ball and chain, the game just only had you use them like twice each, if you're mad they game had arrows and bombs like every other zelda then you're an idiot

Dude what if we took OoT's time travel mechanic and alttp's dark world, and just... Ignore it whooaaah!

so you're upset it didn't just re-redo what LttP did? never mind that TP's world has nothing going on, you want to, what, go through a slightly different version of that nothing world? did you even read what you wrote, dumbass?
feels like you're being a retard on purpose so people think anyone who doesn't like TP is a retard like you and thus their opinion of the game improves because they don't want to be associated with retards like you

It hasn’t aged super well. I’d say it’s good for one, thorough, play through. Repeating the tedious stuff, tutorials, and storybeats are just a nightmare though.

sounds like you're just autistic and nitpicking nothing details

there were several unique items like the spinner and the ball and chain, the game just only had you use them like twice each

yea almost like they're so minor I didn't even remember that point. Do you think by not mentioning something I'm defending it? In a "this game sucks" post? retard. Same thing with the dark world stuff, it's like you can't go two logical steps ahead and see what I mean

the equivalent of a rated R marvel movie

So Twilight Princess is like Deadpool? That's not exactly the epic own you were going for.

nothing you wrote in this post made any sense

8.8 is not 9.5 or even a 9. Without the Nintendo bonus and the 2000s corporate bonus that is like a 5/10.

Yea because you're autistic. That's literally the point.

Prior to it's release, Twilight Princess was insanely hyped up. This was an era when a game would be announced, and it'd take years until it was actually out (Nintendo doesn't do that anymore).
Anyway, after the delays and such, it came out with the Wii as a launch title, and GameStop gave it an 8.8, and autists back then had a meltdown about it, because to them it should've been at least a 9 or 10. And they were sperging out on GameFAQs.

Twilight Princess is famously the first Zelda game ever made to not get a perfect 10/10 from GameSpot. Multiple Zeldafags killed themselves when GameSpot revealed the horrible score.

no I think it's because you're seething so hard you can't form a coherent response

The amount of bullshit you need to go through before entering the first dungeon in TP is inexcusable. It's not just bug hunts, it's everything.
Why defend it? What benefit do all the various cockblocks and filler add to the experience? This doesn't just go for TP either, for practically every single zelda from OOT onward to some degree. The padding only serves to slow down the player and artificially extend game length. And why? Because the raw number of hours to beat the game is supposed to be some metric of quality? It actively detracts from these games, TP probably worst of all.

Just let me fucking play the good parts of these games, holy shit. I don't get why zeldacucks defend this shit.

What, you didn’t enjoy having to restore Ilia’s memory by doing a four hour long sidequest before you had to complete City in the Sky?

What an embarrassing post. How does TP buck break someone so hard?

Twilight Princess is to the 2000s what the Tears of the Kingdom was to the 2020s.

the amount of bullshit you need to go through before entering the first dungeon in TP

Only an issue on replays. The first playthrough it's all novel.

what benefit

It's an rpg, you're going on an adventure progressing through a story, it shouldn't be a beeline from one dungeon to the next as efficiently as possible. I don't really like having to clear the bugs for every new area but again that's only because I've done it before, on the first play through it's not a chore, you do it while exploring a new area for the very first time.

You're defending tedious filler content that is not enjoyable whatsoever. Aonuma mindbroke you.
And for the record, all of the filler in TP was extremely annoying to me on the first playthrough. Which, mind you, was my ONLY playthrough, because I'll be damned if I'm ever going to sit through all that bullshit over again.

tl;dr
i like things
you should try liking things
just because something is for someone else doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, don't demand that all things be made specifically for you, because you are boring

No one's seething besides you, you're either autistic or you're trying to weasel your way around to defending this game by pretending you're a hater

nooo you're not criticizing the game correctly!!!111! stop looking at these flaws and look at these less important flaws!

A double hookshot is a way worse item than the spinner, what even fucking point are you trying to make? I said "instead of new items" I never stated there are zero new items in this game.
And then what's even the second complaint? Did you even play the game?

you want to, what, go through a slightly different version of that nothing world?

There's already a slightly different world. Clearly I'm asking for it to be different i.e. with more shit in it. You're just blabbering nothings

padding padding padding

the game is more than just dungeons. TP is by no means a languidly paced game, especially if it's any playthrough other than your first. are you medically disabled by chance

Love Midnass.

tl;dr
reddit reddit reddit
let people enjoy things
go back

Don't care. Read the manga and loved it while my brother played it and loved it. Everytime I see someone talk shit about this game I wonder what they actually do for fun, because you have to be really anally assblasted to throw a fit over this game.

the dungeons are the good part of TP, the rest is a slog of boring padding padding padding and if that other shit is what you enjoy, I'm sorry but your taste is shit.

why defend a game you never even played?

I'm not the guy you were responding to, Im just pointing out that what you said in response to him literally did not make sense. It's extremely apparent that you are seething quite a lot

slow down mark twain I didnt come here to read a fucking novel

I liked it though

who plays an adventure game like this? "this is zelda i just want the dungeons fuck the story and music give me the dungeons." like you're metagaming the fun out of a single player game retard. go play diablo you worthless afterbirth.

I'm not the guy you were responding to, I just another random autist reading other people's conversations and saying u mad bro over and over

then you're beyond caring about, who cares?

u are mad bro though

you can have a story (and music?) without constantly and blatantly impeding the player with fishing minigames, ox herding, bug hunts, and annoying fetch quests that serve no purpose but to gatekeep the interesting content. The real question is why do you think being an adventure game means the player should constantly be blocked from getting to the enjoyable content of the game? You have an unhealthy mindset. The game is supposed to be fun, you seem to treat it more like a mother forcing her child to do chores before he's allowed to go play. Except now the chores are in the video game that you ostensibly bought to because you wanted to enjoy something.

the fact that halfway through the game it just becomes a lazy dungeon rush ruins it

bro is so mad

literally all of the things you're crying about in multiple posts COMBINED are less than 1 hour of shit in a 40 hour game. adhd is literal retardation btw, despite what your mommy told you

It's far more than 1 hour. Hell, for a normal non-speedrunning playthrough of the game it's probably several hours of bullshit before you even get the 'privilege' of getting to go inside the first dungeon. I don't know why you're working so hard to downplay a major and flawed aspect of this game. Why defend it?

IT'S ACTUALLY 2 HOURS HOW DARE YOU DEFEND IT

i am saying that you are. literally. retarded. your brain is fucked up. you got filtered because you are deficient in a way that even 90 iq chinese bugmen are not.

fishing minigames, ox herding, bug hunts

All of that stuff is optional. Even if it is fun. Zelda has always had fun mini games

bro pissed off the creator of a three hour long "why twilight princess was special" video

40 hours

you're the retard

40 hours is crazy

game don't age mongoloid.

Yes, they do.

it's shit but it's not R rated at all. it's cringe as fuck. OoT and MM had more scary shit than TP

I agree with everything you said. And yet, it's still better than SS, BotW and TotK.
Zelda is truly dead.

no games have to meet by arbitrary standard of length or they're just not good!

you're probably a brown midget or something. if no one will take your shit seriously on this clown fest of a board how big of a joke are you irl?
nope. literal pinhead downie take.

you're so mad you're misspelling half your words

Hyrule Castle is good though

But you only have to do half of it

that's what i thought. keep barking subhuman.

no it's not. You are required to do ox herding and catching a fish for the shopkeeper's cat to progress past the starting village

THIS LITERAL FIVE MINUTES OF CONTENT IS MAKING ME GO INSAAAANE

hahahahahahaha. everyone in your life knows you're a retard and despises you btw

Just let me go to the dungeon