Could you fuck your own ass with a portal?

Could you fuck your own ass with a portal?

If the two walls were close enough, yes

why would you wanna do that? that's gross!. giving yourself a blowjob would feel much better.

no the portals are specifically designed so that they cannot be used by homosexuals

Its not homosexual, its advanced masturbation.

I want you to find a full length mirror, one where you can see your whole body while standing up. Once you're there, take down your pants, bend over, and look at your own asshole.
Really look at it.
Would you fuck that hole?

Yes.
Under normal circumstances you would not be able to conventionally reach your ass because your dick is attached to the same waist you're supposed to be thrusting into. So conventionally, no.
However, if you were to say, jam a small portal-applied surface up your ass, you *could* do it. It's just a matter of manufacturing the portal surface into something sort of like a dildo so you don't tear your butt into pieces trying to put a square peg into an ass hole.

I mean you could jam it in but not really thrust. Every time your pelvis moves forward, it will simultaneously move your ass away from your dick at the same speed.

You could but we all know that you don't have a big enough dick for that

I've made professional simulation. This is impossible without moving portals

You would not be able to

This nigga does not know about black salami lmao

how are you going to bend or kneel down and have your dick at eye level?

forgot hands

Does this ever come up in the games?

totally, files.catbox.moe/p6xb9c.mp4

lmao i missed shitfucks like you for the week

There’s a ton of porn related to this
Obviously this is predicated on being a cute futa and not actually literally me.

The length would not matter, you would not be able to properly fuck ass if you were to simply stick your 3-foot penis into the portal and aim it at the stink machine. You could insert it, but you would not be able to fuck because the inertia is preserved. It would be like trying to move forward yet going nowhere. If anything you would be more at risk of going through the portal fast enough from conserved momentum that you would probably break the dragon slayer penis on the floor. Not ideal.

Yeah, but you'd need a long dick.

Was going to post something like this.

Only dick sucking would work

You could have the portals on a slope, so as you go closer to the point they meet the distance shortens.

This is wrong, dick coming out of a wrong angle

In reality you would need something like this, this would require couple engineers to do this shit. Go on and encourage couple engineers to create a contraption that will help fuck your own ass

It's not wrong at all
Your one wouldn't work because it's 90degrees
You need an acute angle so it encourages things to compress at the angle.

Push dick vertical
Walls are close enough to squeeze between them in this position
Grab cock and lower to horizontal
Insert and move with hands

Reminds me of this thread.

yeah the only way is to put them closer, but then after you get hard and stick it in there you can't turn without colliding with yourself and moving keeps things exactly the same distance, so no thrusting.
Basically, just suck your own dick like a normal person.

This. Don't think about it, just slide it in.

No, because when you thrust forward, you're pushing your ass away from your dick.

after you get hard and stick it in there you can't turn without colliding with yourself and moving keeps things exactly the same distance, so no thrusting.

If you had the ability to make yourself hard and soft and then hard again really fast, that could work as an equivalent of thrusting.

Just put one of the portals on a surface you can move with your hands?

With portals that are close enough and a sufficiently long penis, yes.

Afags would argue you can't even do it with moving portals, because your cock/arse isn't really moving and has no force behind it with which to penetrate

Kneeling

For what purpose

You can insert a dick in your ass no problem, with walls that are close enough (moveable walls after placing portals) or long enough dick, but you wouldnt be able to thrust, since your ass would move in the same direction as your dick. It doesnt count as foucking yourself, its more like sticking a plug up your ass. I agree with one of the guys above: dick sucking would be easier.

and they would be right

Yes. You would just need to tape a chunk of wall to your ass with a portal on it, as your hips move your ass's relative position to the portal is consistent allowing you to go to town on the fixed position entry portal which would probably end up with your ass actually hanging out like one of those ass walls in my japanese animes

Finally, pure bliss.

No, the reason you can't penetrate anything is because you're a limp-dicked twat, not because of portals.

They would not argue that at all because your cock and arse would demonstrably be moving, the fact that both are moving in perfect unison is the issue

They would not argue that at all because your cock and arse would demonstrably be moving

You mean they merely appear to be moving, because no force is added

I have a grandma ass from too much sitting and being overweight
I wouldn't wish it on any fag, woman or tranny.

No I mean they are moving
Much like two cars in the same lane are both moving as the gap between them stays the same
Try to link it back to a separate argument all you like, it's completely different and doesn't use the same concept

I don't think you're following this conversation. Go back to the start.

YOU ARE ALL FAGGOTS

No, I couldn't bring myself to do it

STFU BLANC WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT PORTALS

and now for a more interesting and controversial question

C. The cube goes up my ass.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this image ever since I first saw it over 30,000 years ago. Billions of times it’s popped up in my feed during my immortal lifespan. I’ve yet to come to a reliable conclusion on the question, as new debates challenging the status quo continue to arise from the greatest thinkers spanning the kingdoms… continue to elude my presence will be met with severe scorn…

i love Anon Babble

There was some kick ass art of Chel eating her own pussy that I was never able to find again :(

A

B

How are people pretending anon didn't solve it?

this thread

I missed you guys so fucking much

A or G?

came to post this, the physics dont make sense (even for Portal)

It's thanks to people like them that I did well in static physics and topology in school. Unfotunately I can't see a problem like that without recontextualizing it as a way of fucking myself in the ass.

For me it's doing this . From the first moment I played the game, this has been stuck in my head

This, it's only possible when portal is moving

Me too
I would be my own blowjob slut, servicing myself multiple times a day and swallowing like a good girl

yeah but then you'll be trapped, do you really want to be the victim of the Nutty Putty Cave Incident except instead of a hole it's you fucking yourself in the ass?

I refuse to believe that an incident named Nutty Putty Cave wasn't already about someone fucking themself in the ass

The cube imparts 0 movement and in-fact is forced through fast via the air around it rushing at it. So air resistance against something that isn't moving it will continue not to move and fall flat.

I'd rather use it to put my feet on my face

nah he just fucked himself over and died a horrible death but his ass was unfucked

same

browse Anon Babble's shitter when the site exploded

twittranny asks "whats jannies?"

don't ever fucking leave me again, Anon Babble.

No, your dick would plop out.

I can still suck my own cock though. You cant take that away from me

as the cube travels through the portal, it has a velocity relative to the blue portal

once the cube has finished transiting the portal, it still has that velocity (otherwise there'd be an infinite deceleration)

the cube is not affected by the portal since it's not touching it any more, so it flings

B

ah, so that's why people on Anon Babble were complaining about it

It's never touching the portal, there's nothing to touch

Scholars of ages gone by say that you can.

I consider the portal to be the whole plane enclosed by the ring, not just the ring. But that's pedantry which doesn't affect the outcome.

perhaps . . .

It entirely affects the outcome, you're imparting momentum on an object out of nothing

YES

lost my 6-hour no fap streak to this

where would your body go if two portals are too close together?

Sucking your own dick doesn't feel that great. You don't get the pleasure of doing either since you can't fully focus on either sucking dick or having it sucked. I'd rather just have a clone and take turns doing it.

it doesn't feel that great because the position is uncomfortable, would probably feel a lot better otherwise desu

Why wouldn't it be A?

That happens regardless of how you define the portal, and it's due to a reference frame transition (i.e. the momentum was always there in the frame of the blue portal).
That momentum exists in both A and B btw, but in A you have to contrive an instantaneous deceleration to stop the cube.

Sucking your own dick doesn't feel that great

It does if you manage to take the whole tip
t. knower

contrive

It's not contrived, it seemingly decelerates from the second reference point at the exact same rate as the piston with the portal on it does
All the space around the cube is being forced through the portal at the same rate, there's nothing that it's moving relative to
This is like doing the tablecloth pull trick with a second camera fixed to the tablecloth itself and claiming that the plates should fly away because they have motion and force when observed from that point of reference

youtube.com/watch?v=0TZd95BCKMY

space is being forced through the portal

So what happens to the space that's in front of the exit portal? Does it bend out the way? Is it pushed out the way? Do the spaces get combined somehow?

hey man fuck you at least post the original image. It's B btw

I did, it just doesn't do it for me. And I enjoy sucking dick otherwise.

It get's displaced depending on the physical properties of what's involved
Air will just move out of the way as though you swung your hand through it, solid objects will move or be crushed depending on whether one or both are sturdy enough

sucks (heh) to be you I guess!

solid objects will move or be crushed

By what force?
If a stationary cube is forced through the portal and collides with a stationary anon, from where arises the energy to push/crush anon?

Space

You really are a dimwitted cunt aren't you?
It's not portalling a massive corridor of existence at.
It's a portal, point A to B
The box goes through the portal very fast, there's a build up of air pressure with the air forced through the portal like a bag swung around and that's it, the pressure spreads and equalises.
You're imaginging some hollywood shite where the portal has a massive gust of whooshing air coming through it because the other portal is moving fast.
That air HAS NO MOMENTUM, not even your contrived "reference" bullshit.
It's not even being "sucked" through, the portal is simply passing over it and it is ejected out the other side.
But because so much air is being ejected due to the speed of the portal it builds pressure briefly on the stationary side.

From the mechanical piston forcing the portal that links the two points in space you fucking moron

stationary cube is forced

from where arises the energy to push/crush anon?

probably whatever forced the cube but I'm no rocket scientist

you finally realized that you're wrong so you switched the letters?

You're not thinking with Portals™.

fading to black at the creampie

fucking dog shit

Pick one:
B
or
Magic portal wand

youtu.be/IhEaw3Kuhf0?si=nT5U1YY4m3l9ybex

If you tried to fuck your own ass with portals using this method, would your dick come to rest upon entering the portal or would it maintain its speed?

wife marries her best friend instantly when you die.

Poor feller

A hypothetical is proposed

A philosopher proposes an answer

Multiple colleagues refute the hypothesis

Ancient Greeks would understand this dynamic
Mostly because it's about fucking your own ass

Proves my theory. Women and men can never be friends with no sexual tension. Don't let your wives or husbands have friends of the opposite sex.

i used to be quite flexible, probably could be again with practice, and can attest that sucking your own dick doesn't feel good.

This is only true if you're not gay. I've done it myself and agree with you, but my gay friend does it constantly. Like all of homosexuality, the degeneracy of the act is what makes it hot.

I'm stupidly flexible for a fat fuck, but still a fat fuck so I can't suck myself.

this is what Bfags literally actually genuinely honestly believe

if the walls were ass to ass, then yes.

A stationary pillar impacts a stationary rectangular plate. Neither of them move at any point but they also change position in space over time but they don't have any velocity or momentum. Is the rectangular plate flung or does it plop?

it stops moving the moment it passes through the portal from this non-existent force because it just does okay

you either think portals are teleporters or you are genuinely retarded

The plate does move, an impact takes place

No, there's no force.

self suck portal

i wish this genre was more popular.

get close to pbutt when flacid

get hard to the point of near penetrations

flex crouch up and down to go in and out

uhhhhhhhhh it's not moving Btard it's just <psuedoscientific babble>

Replace it with a ball and change the angles or you will get redditors locking in on wind resistance instead of the action

It's not moving, the portal is.

It would work if the walls were so close together they were both touching you while you were standing straight. That would be a difficult position to get into, though

My ass is very plappable, I would definitely do it.

I'm standing next to the exit portal right now and I assure you it's not moving and neither am I. Anything that comes out of this portal must be moving.

Put one portal on a door, then one portal on a wall next to the door. Stick your dick through the portal on the wall. Have the door repeatedly slammed against you over and over

No. That would be true if it was just a hole, not a portal.

By definition, coming implies motion.

Assume the following takes place in a vacuum without the presence of any gravitational influence at all. The cube has a constant velocity of 1000 m/s. It is traveling in a perfectly straight towards to and catching up to a portal which has a constant velocity of 999 m/s. The other connecting end of the portal is stationary and also in a vacuum.
When the cube passes through the portal, what velocity will it have on the other end? 1 m/s, or 1000 m/s?
This is a simple IQ test btw.
From the other perspective you will be moving, but as you are not the one passing through the portal that perspective is irrelevant.

it doesn't matter how far apart from each other the blue and orange move, functionally they're always tethered back to back
the cube never moves

The cube has emerged and I can definitely see that it's been moving. In fact I can measure how fast it's moving!
If you're saying it's stationary, doesn't that mean I'm moving instead?

they also change position in space over time

look up the definition of movement

This has been illustrated before, but Afags have only ever said "you can't change the question".

A retards in shambles

Seeing a lot of similarities between A-fags and democrats.

I just learned Anon Babble is back up and this is the first thread I see
Never change, chinese basket-weaving forum

Yes. Your side of the portal has been moved onto the cube which has not moved.

This and the "knife that has no momentum but can paradoxically stab something" should put the A fags down for good but I know better than to expect a retard to admit to losing.

all these B fags misinterpreting the A arguments

This is basically what it all comes down to, Btards just cannot think beyond how it looks from outside the blue portal, if it looks like it's moving then it has to have momentum, it the movement looks strange because of something you can't see then it can't be right

try posting again after you come down from the nitrous oxide high, Anigger

Every point comes down to "I can see it moving so it's moving"
You pick a single point of reference to observe the interaction and ignore the fact that the others are still important because the issue is based around the idea of space being interfered with

Why are portal threads so unhinged

hurr its an optuchul illushun! it only loochs like its moving!

Fuck you.
You cannot show such a phenomena anywhere else.

inb4 durr mirrors!

You can't touch the object in the mirror.

Because the phenomena involves fucking portals you moron of course there's no precedent to point to, the space between where the cube "starts" and "ends" is compressed into being one point

space warp guy again

Poster IDs, please.

This thread made me realize that my understanding of topology and spatial logic are completely nonexistent

My undesrstanding is nonexistent?

This thread made me realize that I also don't know shit about english grammar

moving portals

Sorry didn't mean to sound like one of your bogeymen. What won't trigger you? Manipulating? What are these literal impossible holes in space doing? Why does a 4D space collapsing in on itself have to work the exact way you say because you say so?

drop water into portal that has portal above it

infinite water loop

add water wheel

infinite power

this wouldnt work because the energy of the gravity wouldnt be conserved between portals so eventually the water would stop falling

:DDDD

This entire thread proves to me that public schools don't teach the basic laws of motion and thermodynamics anymore.

I know you're joking but we did have a guy who actually believed this and thought that the Earth would eventually run out of gravity.