Meanwhile, on extranet Anon Babble

Why do Human supremacists always have Quarian girlfriends?

The Enkindlers love even you

They cute

I'm a 512 year old Krogan NEET and I've been called back to Tuchanka after living on the Citadel for 435 years.
I'm being told by my father of clan Grushkal to return and help repopulate and rebuild but I kind of want to stay here and play videogames.
I don't think I'm ready to leave my extranet access and vidya behind to be a dad.
What do, e/v/?

Different amino acid base ensures zero risk of interbreeding.

go outside

see vorcha

day ruined

Just play your games on your omnitool.

They don't have extranet on Tuchanka?

Salarians need to get to work on a way to crossbreed.

What shithole do you live in?

GOODMORNING SALARIANS

Good. You opened this thread. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.

So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.

-KL

just play mobile games

You're lucky I can't find you and pulp you.

Extranet access is limited on Tuchanka because we only have one Comm Buoy in the Arlakh system and it's predominantely used for other shit. Only people with high privledge get to use it, predominately clan leaders. if they saw I was taking up bandwidth to play Last Daydream XIV to do my fucking dailies they'd probably make me redo my Rite of Passage.

Baartarians*

Mods really need to get ahold of panning and deleting off-topic shit. The Geth problem is already really bad.

Have you considered singleplayer games? Most don't require extranet access other than for an occasional update.

Nah it's some fucking roleplayer who thinks he's Kai Leng. This isn't the first time.

You're not cool enough to be Kai Leng. You think a guy like that would post in a shithole like this?

inquisitive; i work in the embassies and a human female who is really into these earth animals called 'horses' has been making what i can imagine are are lustful glances at me and wishes to know more about me
with disgust; i fear she sees me as a fetish object as humans typically see my race as similar to horses. i cannot read her intentions but i think they are disingenuous outside of wanting to mate with me
inquisitive; why are human females like this?

We still don't know

t. Human being with a nonhuman extranet GF

What do you want me to do, anon? Bring my full rig to Tuchanka?
The planet is a dust ball with no main power grid and what little resources we have there are monitored and power is of upmost importance. I'm not going to hook up my rig with a 4000w [unit automatically converted] power draw to the clan generator.

Green hands typed this post

White human females have sex with everything, Elcor-anon, even animals. no offense.

Sounds like you need to be the change you wish to see.
Modernize your planet for the next generation of NEETs to enjoy.

STOP WITH YOUR BIG HUMAN COCK SPAM! I'M SICK OF SEEING FEMALE MEMEBERS OF ALL SPECIES WORSHIPPING BHC

Human females really like terran horses, just like human males really like salarian women.

just go be the change you want to be

tfw have 3000 year life span and I'd never see the day in which tuchanka would prosper that well to enjoy it.

Think I'll see if I can 'do my part' on tuchanka and then come back here and continue to send money to the clan.

Batarian Lives Matter

Query: What is a white human female?

Contact war not looking so good now is it, birdcunt?

The literal savior of the galaxy (human by the way) has said this is absolutely not true

t. Quadless

How do you make money here if you're a NEET?
You're not one of those spacemail scammers, are you?

We don’t know

imagine being a bird

Just used the latest asari AI tech to create an immersive 3D holographic projection of Commander Shepard having sex with vorcha, varren, and batarians

There is a Krogan Host Club. They sort of just pay random Krogans to hang out with tourists that have never met one. There is one Salarian that just comes in and sings karaoke, but it’s mostly musical theatre shit.

I work at a bar and I gotta say it's pretty funny to watch Krogan try and get with Asari
There's one of those lizards who tries to hook up with one every other night here and it never works lol

Greetings, e/v/.
This one has come into posession of7.4 Petabytes of Turian Female pornography, including but not limited to:

mandable and crest fixation

the entire spoof catelog of turian women posing suggestively with state of the art weapons and armor

First Contact roleplay with humans and females of both races; featuring sexual interrogations, lustful and forbidden one night stands, and light BDSM and torture. All with the proper protection!

all 200 issues of the Fornax Turian catelog

the popular turian pornography's series "Percussive Maintenance"

If any of you are interested please contact this one at this one's designated Extranet Email facename:

[email protected]

All fucking Batarians should all fucking hang.

Bullshit that’s definitely dolphin porn

What the fuck is a Dolphin?

I suppose i'm not a NEEt as much as I just work from home. I work and consult with citadel veterinarians about Varren and other species native to Tuchanka. My clan specializes in training Varren and I often times provide consultation as well as muscle to keep varren in check for tests or training.
I don't leave my unit often though.

Do you have to act all tough or are you allowed to show your powerlevel?

Shh don't tell the mods

What have you got on asari?

That series where Quarians are forced to subsist on Human sexual fluids is permanently on hiatus

Why even live?

Keep your rekt threads where they belong.

Garrus would never

Default is tough, but some of our regulars like the Salarian see through it and will ask us to just be ourselves.

This one has the following archive of 17.92 Petabytes on Asari pornography:

The 5 Petabyte collection of "I Dream of Azure"; the extremely popular smut series in which human males and females copulate and enjoy all things asari

Asari/Human "BKC: Big Krogan Cock" collection

The hit Xenophillia series "Asari vs The Galaxy", in which a young Asari take on everything the galaxy can put in them; From Elcor to Varren and everything in between [ILLEGAL IN COUNCIL SPACE]

"Erotic Biotic" in which Asari use their biotic powers to induce pleasure and perform sexual acts using mass effect fields - L3 implant edition

the beloved Hanar/Asari mating videos, popular on Kahje and Earth colonies

young mercenary asari being inducted into the ranks through a hazing process

extremely rare footage of Ardat Yakshi mating with their victims

Asari matriarches who have have sired dozens of children across short lived species inviting her daughters to an orgy with their newest lover also known as a 'Millennium Orgy'

justicar erotic cosplay (highly illegal, please use a galactic VPN)

raw footage of Asari being captured and played with by Batarian Slavers

Asari "Head Crest Obsession" in which sexual intercourse ends with ejaculation onto an asari's head.

asari gold diggers being breed by their rich and unusually ugly lovers

asari snuff videos featuring gore and dismemberment - popular on Khar'shan

the full 2000 year catalog of Asari Edition Fornax

a video called "Breaking Omega's #1 Rule"

If interested please send all requests and appropriate Extracoin charges to this ones designated Extranet Email facename:

[email protected]

MODS MODS MODS

The flotilla was crying to the council about it and those fuckers shut it down. You have any idea how mnay suit rats died in production?

Aquatic mammal native to earth, known for their intelligence and sexual aggression.

Deserved lol

The 'enkindlers' view our kind as some form of exotic nourishment, despite our since long utmost reverence to them. This one has been fooled!

YOU. BIG. STUPID. JELLYFISH.

Ardat Yakshi murderfucking

Asari snuff

Yeah nice try, buddy. We all know that shit is VI generated.

You can literally feel the crime rate decreasing

etranet Anon Babble thread

Best threads. wish we'd have more OC and art of them.

A noble entrepreneur gives Quarians a way to make money on their pilgrimage and they still find a way to complain

This one assures you they are in fact very real. This one has certification within this ones wares and consults only with the shadowbroker.

Heresy Reported
Heresy Reported
Heresy Reported

implying im fucking the blue whores

There's only 2 species worth becoming a race traitor for and neither are levo amino acids
Post them squid nigger

I want to know what female Vorcha look like.
I believe they must be cuter than their males and having a grumpy tomboy Vorcha gf that can regen her wounds would be neato.

I still can't believe we didn't quarantine Youtube basedpogging from the greater galaxy

Hundred+ years of videos unleashed to races with absolutely no defenses to cringe

you could get some BHC yourself if you just asked

Sisters I need some advice on what kind of games to play with my new human bf.
He likes to play Galaxy of Fantasy and I know for a FACT some Quarian whore is trying to steal him IRL and I want to replace her in his raid group. What do I do sisters? Goddess knows i'm willing to shoot that suitrat if I am able to find her. My eclipse training wasn't for nothing.
I need advice and guides and shit on how to play it.

Why the fuck do these tentacle things own so much porn

Salarian hands typed this post.
I get that your women look like the men but this delusional levels of desperation.

*hits red sand* so bros let me ask what do Asari look like to you? Now to me they look human but blue and with tentacles on their head.

I recommend playing Leviathan Quest 3 HD-7D.

Sadly it's the case but this autistic bitch let's me cum in her no condom unlike the quarian so yeah she's alright

Nothing is as unattractive as a desperate Asari. You're good for a one time fuck and that's it. get a life you blueberry turd.

Because their Drell slaves do all the work so they're free to autistically compile massive porn collections

Kill yourself you fragile gypsy fuck

They're hideous too, cease with that thinking

t. retired spectre

Fucking a bird without a condom

Holy moly

Are Asari capable of having different body proportions? I've seen Quarians with shapely or fat asses, but most asari share the same porportions.

When humans made contact they discovered hentai and it turns out that that shit is like crack to the other races (Asari especially)

Anon if she's doing that she probably doesn't fucking no better and likely has mental problems. Take her to the nearest Hospital and have her checked or else you'll be charged for extreme sexual neglegeance and then the fucking turian government will have a reason to come after you, and I know for a fact the Human embassy will let them have you to stay out of trouble.

Remind him she won't let him fuck her with no protection

tfw my previous gf was a quarian who didn't even leave the fucking suit and I just had to use a nerve stim pro on her while she perked me off

At least she tried bitch was deathly afraid of the common cold

Race that's barely a single step beyond parthenogenesis

Variety

I'm surprised they managed to develop opposable digits

Spotted the seething Asari.

Do you have Erotic Biotic L4 and L5 editions? L3 Edition was fine but you should see the shit they do with the L5s.

The fuck bro, this is a blue board
I'm going to call C-Sec on your ass

Yeah she's fun I gotta clean her out afterwards so I don't build up any of my DNA in her but fucking a bird raw now THAT'S fun

Yeah, I've seen asari matrons with big tits and asari matriarch with huge tits.
Also I shit you not, I once saw an asari that was fucking green. You think her dad was a drell?

Has anyone every met a Christian ayy, it’s so fucking surreal.

Their viruses don't affect us and it's not like they'll get pregnant

I still cannot believe that reapers exist and are awaiting us just out of bounds

Do you guys remember when that old video game company, Nintendo, released the Switch 2 back in June of 2025? Man it sure did break all sorts of sales records, especially after they re-instated the original April 9th pre-order date for customers in the old United States. I sure do love reading about video game history!

Christianity is proven real bro. Remember that one matriarch that crash landed on earth and met Jesus?

I'm replaying the Duskbloods 4 Remake right now and was just thinking about that.

It’s not that it’s not real it’s that seeing a fucking Krogan wearing a crucifix and reciting the Lord’s Prayer was the last thing i expected to see. I mean im not upset or anything i just didn’t expect it. It’s like seeing a gypsie interacting with a quarian.

How are you liking it anon, does it run well? My Asari gf was thinking about picking it up. Thank god they changed their minds about it being exclusive to the Switch and made it a game available on other consoles!

What gets me is I don't think I've ever seen the reverse. Never see any Humans going on about the Goddess or Enkindlers.
We really are the main characters.

Your contact lenses just arrived Anon Babble

Never see any Humans going on about the Goddess

Bro how have you not seen the depths the blue-fever community will sink to?

Those fucking seaboos will debase themselves for even a hint of blue minge

Yeah it emulates fine on my omnitool. Thank god they dropped the multiplayer shit after the first game

MY BRANN

We really are the main characters.

Why else do you think we get to bang aliens hell cerberus doesn't get on my ass for fucking a turian
Also some find her brother she's really worried about his dumbass ever since he went to omega

dropped the multiplayer

No wonder I couldn't find a sworn rival

I just matched with a chick on this extranet dating app. She's got a fat ass but her face looks like a 20th century earth popstar (male). Should I go for it?

Honestly the Turians were right about us being dangerous but not in the way they thought. We’re not like the Krogans we ended up unleashing various cultural ideas that fucked a lot of stuff up. For example do you know how many Asari scientists have become streamers/egirls? Tons mainly due to the fact that that shit pays much more and they don’t have to do much. Or how many Turians end up becoming weebs, a buddy of mine spotted a C-Sec officer at the book store he works at looking at manga the other week. Apparently they fucking love Gundam and DBZ.

This one shall not purchase your primitive entertainment software.

IT's actuallky a timed exclusive, desu

I'm thinking of playing the N7 Legends: Legendary Edition on ExtraSteam. Does anyone know any good Mods for the second game?

I refuse to talk about Legend of the Galactic Heroes with nonturians at this point. Truly a people with superb taste.

If i see another Batarian or Geth aim botter in N7 Code of Honor I'm going to go shoot upo an ardat yakshi monastary

I fucking saw a Turian wearing a kimono the other day and I had to fake a coughing fit. If I hear one actually try to speak Japanese I'll completely lose it. I actually have my translator set to not translate human languages so I WILL know

see batarians doing the usual batarian shit

shoot up asari

?

intrigued: do you have the extranet address for this human?
with sincerity: so i can block her address, that is

WHO KEEPS FUCKING WITH THE FREE EXTRA NET PASSWORD IN THE WARDS

They’re doing their own con in a few weeks, one of my neighbors asked me to help her with her sailor moon costume for the cosplay competition, imagine a 25 year old Turian woman doing this.
youtu.be/sv6I46ShbDw?si=82-yJpWO2uR-sPr9

exitter complaining about asari/human age gap relationships again

Anon i've seen 40 year old human women do this, this isn't strange

Open their profile

Quarian female

Every. Time.

COMMANDER SHEPARD'S SEX TAPE JUST LEAKED

It’s not the same, there are so many levels to this, it was simultaneously hilarious and arousing. My buddy told me that by the end of my deployment I would at least want to fuck an alien but I thought he was messing with me. And you would not believe how high they can get their voices to go, like I’m pretty sure they just keep a lower pitch for the sake of appearing like stoic warrior types.

Imagine being Ardat yakshi
Doomed to a thousand years of celibacy, locked up in a shitty monastery solely because your mom couldn't stop being a slut for BAC

Damn that’s only five this month, the Commander is getting lazy.

You'd think Turians would be Roman Larpers instead of Weaboo's but I guess Japan has held up to a more modern period

Only Celibacy if you're a sheep Asari instead of a Gigastacey :^)

SAARLARIANS

think it's predominately muh honor and muh society that the turians understand

alliance netstation 5 coming out soon

no games whatsoever

when will they learn. they didnt even bother with backwards compatibility like omtendo did for nce.

he knows about the turian squeal

You gotta put in work for it but if you fuck them right they go from altos to fucking sopranos fast
And if you turn off the translator that's when they get cute because you'll hear her making what sounds like a bird call mid climax

My brother died on Aratoht and I see humans do nothing but celebrate it. I'm going to enslave a few more just to get back at you all

That’s why they always play Tau in 40k as well.

400K MORE DEAD BATARIANS TO COMMANDER SHEPAAAARD

I once saw an asari that was fucking green

fake and batarian. i can believe the tits thing but not this,

THIS is what Quarians look like under their helmets! Straight from the Shadowbroker itself!

I wish.

but chud-one... the porn...

be me

run an extranet cafe on the citadel (won't specify which ward)

every few days this one earth-clan guy comes in and spends like 6 hours straight playing interspecies dating sims

gets a chuckle out of me every time. I'm glad he's courteous enough to keep the volume down, though, otherwise it'd probably creep out some of my other regulars

Chunar, please purchase my game about a Krogan Samurai in Oda-Period Japan!

sure you will space dust. sure you will.

earth-clan

how much are you ripping him off schnozz-clan?
dont try to hide it i know you do

this is considered gentically perfect for humans

Yeah, I'd want to fuck other species instead too

shea's cute though. Strong jaw. full lips. shiny hair and blue eyes. fat ass too. Have you seen those shadow broker-acquired images of it? Good lord.

well, sometimes I fudge the price a little based on how good a customer's taste in games is. I give him a 3% discount because I enjoy watching him fail at dating sims

how many Asari actually use e/v/?

incredibly based for a spacejew

t. vorcha

i wish council_moot finally ep range banned you extra vpn shitposting subspecies

Noted, are you going to check out the their anime con? Apparently there are going to be other races there as well. Depending on how well you know them you would not believe what the Krogan are into.

Turian actually with a flesh-fetish.

no love for the ancient niche earth animations

its hard being turian and trying to find this shit on your own. especially because the translator constantly keeps fucking up the translations.

APNUS MACRIDUS REPORT TO YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER RIGHT AWAY

ayylmao got his ass

Sir, having a human fetish isn't against the Code of Honor, sir.

Why do Quarian women always go for human men? What the fuck is this?

How much trouble would someone get into for ejaculating on a Keeper? Asking for a friend

Where the fuck did you get this picture of the admiral's daughter?

APNUS MACRIDUS YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO THE FEMALE HUMAN OFFICERS WHO FOUND THEIR UNDERWEAR SATURATED WITH FLUIDS OF TURIAN ORIGIN.

Not mine, sir. I'm not a deviant, just a turian with a strange fetish.

Your 'friend' is fucked bro. C-SEC are probably on their way right now.

Don't, that will release reaper gas

Is there a public extranet TERMINAL around here?
My omnitool's been broken for an ETERNITY!

WARNING: "furries," "scalies," whatever you want to call them, all of it, is all an alien psyop to make humans more comfortable with the way they look
Don't give in! Stay true to humanity!

Oh FFS , "reapers" are just a conspiracy theory, stop watching that extranet show

Blasto is getting rebooted with a Batarian lead

I suddenly need to pee

total
batarian
death

With Glee: When engaging with alien media I am always entertained by the one commonality between us: Hatred of pointless, inefficient government institutions, even in otherwise unrelated circumstances.
Slyly: I have even found such in works of Turian and Volus origin, and not ones which would be considered ancient. Though at times, those behind these pieces seem to believe they can do better, which is entertaining in a different way.

Guys I'm a merc why is everyone reloading their guns now? I just wait for them to reload and then shoot them my guns don't need to reload

They're not reloading they're just swapping heat sinks
If you've got old guns you just can't the funs. Both have limitations and old school also has downtime

Is there anything more disgusting than a pureblood asari?

Where can a Turian brother swap aminos with a QT Quarian lady?

try your local car shop

I hate the geth
They aimbot in games
They aimbot irl
They spam the board
I hate the flashlights and their gay laser guns
I may be a quarian but spiritually I'm human and I say the humans should exterminate the geth for Eden Prime

Is there some way to tell? All those blue whores look the same to me

what the fuck are you on about elcor-kun as the earthlings say

spiritually I'm human

It's like you hazmat freaks don't even have a sense of self. What's it like to look in the mirror and see a helmet looking back?

They spam the board

thats vorcha and batarians though. especially all the porn and e/pol/ threads and rage b8s.

Pureblood are always autistic due to inbreeding. If they're obsessed with shit that doesn't matter like prothean history one second and in an edgelord phase the next that's almost definitely a pureblood

t. Turian
go back to laying eggs bird boy

he doesnt have a personal geth cluster farming golden credits in space thunder for him

Have you guys heard of the Andromeda initiative? Seems a bit shady, but with the rumors of Reapers being real may take a chance and sign up. By the time I wake up from my cryogenic slumber maybe the galaxy will be free of fucking Batarians and Vorcha.

They are going to take your money and leave you stranded in deep space, retard

What's the over under on how much it would cost to have a fully customizable android fuckbot?
I've seen cerberus offers a really REALLY expensive but high quality brand and they can make the cans on those things fucking massive.

playing civ xxi with some friends

randoms join

at least two turians

herewego.holovid

play a balanced tech game

run into the turians at some point

they start screeching how their turian spear chuckers are getting bulldozed by earth great war tanks

this happens 95% of the time

shouldnt have tried to bee line for your gay space ships. retarded space chickens.

Ever since the great jungle planet war the alliance has let all these god damn volus on my planet, you know they molest their children? The inflation caused by their free credit policies is crippling. I swear I saw one with 15 children, all screaming loudly.

It's a better way to go than blind signing some contract from Illium, but I wouldn't recommend it as a form of suicide personally.

Just married an asari. Ask me anything. Human btw

LOL what's his name?

how good is the poon? Is physical sex or mind sex more fun?

Volus think that subverting the intergalactic credit supply with endless debt traps is a "contribution" that makes them "worthy" of a seat on the council

Mind sex is fucking wild. It's basically a lucid dream where she let's you do anything

be human

meet some Turian gal

make some small talk and she asks for my info

immediately sends me this

Why are Turian women like this? What is so interesting about us humans?

Can you make her uh younger

The new volus order is real

immediately start imagining her mom

Fuck you! You just want to take my spot. Enjoy dying on some bumfuck planet fighting the Reapers while I help colonize a new planet.

Makes them feel naughty and kinky. You're just-barely-not-the-enemy, forbidden fruit and all that. It's frankly retarded and it's no wonder so many of them end up dead of anaphylaxis guzzling h*man cum.

I'm still waiting for the updated version of this for the 2186 Economic Forum
youtube.com/watch?v=5iyxJ72G0lM

I wish I was an Elcor so I could kill anyone that fucks with me in one punch. Even Krogans can't beat them in a fight.

gargle on my quads you gelatinous fag

Makes sense, Krogan only play Khorne unless they've been domesticated by Asari witchcraft

You know, I hope you believe that and gargle as many h*man cocks as you can tonight and just see how it goes you fucking whore.

Then fuck are you taking about? Elcors are fucking pussys who can barely move their limbs let alone throw a punch.

You're not gonna survive this First Contact, sweetheart *cums*

Do you have any idea how much force is behind an Elcor punch?

Commander Shepard is magically alive again after two years

I seriously hope none of you believe that Alliance bullshit

Reminder that if the anon you're interacting with uses the words "consensus", "creators" or refers to you as "name-title" you're speaking to a literal bot

He thinks "Commander Shepard" is real

lmao sure retard

It just doesn't make sense that a dextro disease can do anything other than give me a stomach ache though

Look I thought so at first too but after the the 5th TV interview and the 7th store endorsement, I've come around.

meet a girl on extranet

says she's a quarian

get excited

ask to meet up

she agrees

Meet up at the game shop next to the dark star lounge

It's a male turian

laughs and says something about honor handing me an 80 credit game

He's been doing this for 8 fucking years

I'm starting to think he's gay.

I saw him man, I was going about my day as doing some sales pitching on Noveria and I saw him gun down an entire office. Crazy shit. Anyway I ditched that job, place gave me the shivers. Some Blue Bitch came in and talked about the coming doom or some nonsense

Aren't you that fucking guy who kept "accidentally" fucking Turian twinks? We get it man. You like Turian men.

Humans are squishy and soft, it probably feels really good to grope us.

Free videogames are worth any price.

They all look the same to me, what even *is* a Turian twink?

Uh huh sure. He's just a marketing stunt by the Humans to make us think they're special
Every fucking store in the Citadel has the same pre recorded voice line about how it's his favorite store
Humanity shows up in the galaxy after what, 20 something years? And suddenly there's this mysterious commander that runs a ghost ship better than anything anybody has, becomes a spectre, stops the """reapers""" aka geth invasion. He's cruising around the galaxy saving everyone but also has time to go punch out a reporter on some fake news reel?
Cmon get real

I swear to god man I saw him gun down like 8 armed body guards. He's like that Hanar guy on the movies!

I mean I have seen him running around the Presidium, he was fucking around with the keepers and met with the Council.

spectre agents like Saren can be prominent investors in companies like Binary Helix

Is the Citadel Council retarded?

Yes? They believed that human spectre trying to tarnish Saren based solely on one audio log. Do you know how easy it is to fake those with a VI these days?

Yeah, they legit do jackshit. One of my buddies found the Asari Councilor doing camshows, she words a mask but it’s pretty easy to see that it was her.

it's not as exciting as you think. they're just kinda skinny and wear traditionally feminine face paint.

Feminine face paint

How can you even tell? You're not one of those degenerate perverts that fetishize alien cultures are you?

Turian bros don't look. How can humans do this to us?

No face markings

Gigantic slut

its the eyebrows. they know they entice human men by drawing those on.

Humans derail yet another thread into a circlejerk

I'm petitioning the Salarian councilor for a great firewall first thing tomorrow morning. So tired of this shit.

Anon Babble was a mistake.

Shoudn't you be busy begging a dalatrass to let you jerk off over her egg clutch?

EAT SHIT YOU FIVE FINGERED APE

Headed to car shop

Start talking to this pretty Quarian

They yell something about her stealing their tech

Get into a gun fight

Me and her kill like 27 batarians and like 3 humans

Laugh about it over a few animos

Bro, I would have died. But damn, the things you do for Quarian ass.

Batarians are overhated and asari aren't hated nearly enough

Never gonna happen, you fuckers love our cartoons way too much to block them out.

Batarians are overhated

No, you're not.

a salarian girl gave me her best 5 years then settled with some other frog.

It's for the best. Your wife dying of old age in your 40's is pretty shit

where the hell did you get that image of Eddy?

Interesting hypothesis
Can't firewall the Citadel, you toads will deal with our superior human shitposts whether you like it or not

Shouldn't you be experimenting on some bear looking thing right about now?

about to be called up for my mandatory service in the Hierarchy Armed Forces

wtf am I supposed to do, bros? I don't want to die for VOG

Uhh, C-Sec Jannies?

Me after losing in a friendly sparring match (I had reach, but she had flexibility)

human farmer here, there’s a gigantic space dildo parked near my colony. Which one of you alien fucks is it? Get the fuck out of my fa

doesn't he know that turians poop and pee from the same place? very unsanitary. you know what race is very clean and very sanitary and also love human men? Quarians.

Another one for the Hegemony. Glory to Khar'shan

you know the asari story is bullshit when you remember that the don't live that long. props to kroganbro for seeing the light though

they don't live that long

You're right but the fact that Jesus was only one generation removed from them makes it all a lot easier to verify

An asari married my brother and she sends me weird videos of them doing pet play shit. I think she doesn't see him as a long term partner.

She'd be stupid if she did

Bro your Asari probably isn't going to be a virgin and she's definitely not going to stay faithful after you die. That shit is just exNov fantasy and you gotta accept that for fishpussy

Christianity

You know I've never actually thought about asking you humans about all the religions you have. How widespread is it

Global and there are hundreds if not thousands of them. But there are a few main ones that dominate.

he thinks there's fish in the Presidium

It's impossible for the asari to see humans as long term partners. You're a fling that lasts a few decades at most

be turian

die_for_the_cause.exe

have a human buddy from work

on amicable terms

human is a gun nut

is into old guns

really old guns

guns that are ancient by turian standards

invites me to a range outing

accepts to see where this goes

range owner gives him shit for brass

whatever

get into range

hands me picrel

BANG BANG BANG

the sound

the feel

the smell

where the fuck were you my whole life

I'm livid. This shit is magic in material form and reproductions cost a fortune. Spirits help you if you want an original. Thank you human buddy and also fuck you.

Is it incest if you sleep with your Asari daughter? She technically wouldn't have my DNA right? asking for a friend

asking for a friend

wouldn't have my DNA right?

my

Anon...

Anon, those squids STEAL your genes to reproduce
Anyway, you won't be able to plap your daughter in your lifetime, unless you are a quadboy

can practically keep time to that shit

The best you’re going to get if you don’t want to spend and arm and a leg is watching western movies or playing western games.

quadboy

I AM A QUADMAN!! Anyways, I'm not hearing no, so my friend should be in the clear

realtalk you don't want to be on the receiving end of one of those. Saw a krogan actually piss off an elcor and the poor bastard went through two walls and some kiosk. Swear on the ancestors he said something about "smelling music" before he passed out. Which itself is scary because when was the last time anyone saw a krogan pass out from pain/organ failure?

I don't leave my unit often though.

What's the point of living on the Citadel if you don't take advantage of it? You're not gonna meet one of those freaky humans or asari on Tuchanka.

any suggestions, dear anon?

/ev/ros I saw some Asari bring up fish to her Salarian BF... It's never been more over for him

remembers a salarian and his asari daughter talking about potential gifts for the mother

asari is maybe 20 or 21

salarian looks around 39 or something hard to tell with them

convo mostly revolved around something to remember the dad after he's gone.

Honestly I don't know who got the rougher deal there. Salarianbro who's got at most a year left with his daughter he clearly cared about, or the daughter who's dad is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of her life, whom she also clearly cared about.

120 years aren't enough, how do they make do with just 40?

Fucking the race that always requires you to wear a condom

Why do my fellow humans pick the worse and most incompatible species to lust over?

Meanwhile I can nut in a korganness 100 times as she milks me dry and not have to worry about killing her or having a baby

It's probably shopped, unless the shadowbroker is leaking things again

he thinks his pingpong balls can compare to KROGAN QUAD

as soon as you die she's gonna fuck half of tuchanka out of desperation for a good lizard penis.

Your poor spine

implying Koragns aren't too busy killing each other over gang turf to fuck their woman

On earth we call this a chimpout

Nothing some medigel can't fix

I swear to god this site is 70% geth bots, it feels like I'm talking to the same fuckhead on repeat every day

Can Asari matriarchs get pregnant? Asking for a human friend?

My galactic hero!

Be me, Krogan badass

Used to run with the Blood Pack

Had all these Vorcha under my command

Never bothered to learned their names so they were just Screechy One, Screechy Two, etc

Fighting this Eclipse Vanguard that had bursted right through Screechy Six, which if you've never seen a Vorcha burst, check around the Extranet, funniest shit you'll ever see

She eventually turns tail in the face of my Krogan might, that's when noticed how great her ass was, long story short we end up hooking up later

She gets knocked up, convinces me that this is my chance to be a dad (I think she used some Asari mind bullshit on me)

The demands never end, "You spend too much time with those Vorchas" "We should get a place in Council Space, its safer" "I know this Volus on the Citadel who needs a bodyguard" "No you can't bring Screechy Twelve with us"

Think that at least when our daughter gets old enough I'll be able to show her the merc ropes

Nope, she convinced her that a stripper job would be better

Haven't mindmelded in decades

Never take the Asaripill

Hey guys, do you all think that Andromeda Initiative is some massive embezzling scheme, or at least some doomsday cult Alec Ryder is setting up? Either way, I'm not signing up because I'd end up missing the release of Blasto 6.

I don't care how futureproof they say those Ark ships are, anything can go wrong with the navigation or cryogenic pods in the estimated six hundred years it'll take to go to another galaxy.

Kroganbro....if you want to get serious with an asari, you always go for their mothers. Everyone knows that at this point.

Does anyone know when the next chapter of Dragon Ball Omega drops?

does that bitch even know what screechy twelve did for you? you should cheat on her with a human female.

Even if it is real, that shit isn't going to work. I'm supposed to believe we have the tech to get across the void between galaxies in the year of our Lord 2186? Yeah right

Total Batarian death.

t. blight

Based.

Every Turian secretly wants a human lover

The Bahak System is a blight, err WAS

HOLY F-

wait a minute.... is that Blasto???

female human

Nice try. Commander Shepard is a male human.

Just got my ticket to Palaven. I'll be drowning in bird pussy soon bros.
Do you guys think 5 bottles of SPF 100is enough for a week?

Bat*rian hands typed this post

Bros......Aria is so hot.

Don't even think about it.

yup batarian hate is cringetard shit
humanity is literally the race of dei niggers after gibs in mass effect universe. batarians are the based chud race that the devs designed for you to hate.

I just took a big Batarian in my toilet.

I am thinking of proposing to my asari gf. Should I do it?

Hey guys I don't know where else to post this, has anyone seen this type of gun before? I was on Eden Prime and I just found one in the ruins. Is this experimental? No way it's Prothean all that shit got raided years ago. Posting this won't get me in trouble will it?

I hear there's a part of the Presidium with a bunch of fish, probably a nice place to do it

There ain't no fish in Presidium.

Bullshit, this human sold one to my friend, he had just caught it any everything

Shepard was right

your splerg is showing

Is this what Turian women really look like?

I can't be the only one who wants to just like, stick a finger between an Asari's head tentacle things right?
Every time I see one it's like I feel this tiny inkling of an impulse that's telling me to do it

First day of school for the girls. I am excited as they are. I still remember when they were little.

There's a billion credit industry just waiting for the first Human to introduce Elcor to disco music.

normie

Get the fuck out.

As an asari, I am so tired of this shit. They're NOT tentacles. They're semi-flexible, cartilage-based scalp crests. They do NOT flop around, so go fuck yourself.

Semi-flexible, cartilage-based scalp crests

Can't you see how that makes me want to do it even more?
It's probably really satisfying to play with them

What are Turians always such weeks for Dragon Balls?

asari

Post tits or get the fuck out.

no condom

do you want to catch space aids

Why must all the black humans cause problems?

Posting this won't get me in trouble will it?

posting obviously painted scrap metal isn't illegal humantard

Nice anon.

Dude it shoots green shit I swear, not like the geth guns which shoot blue shit. You think Cerberus will buy it?

Cerberus was right.

imagine the smell

*hits pipe*

human father

asari daughters

Dude it shoots green shit I swear

fucking paradise world druggies should space themselves I swear to the Linron

Blue Suns was a fine organization before the Batarians.

I got the latest omnitool model and apparently it comes with fucking swords and armor now. I just wanted to use this thing to browse the extranet and turn my TV on from across the room

SAAR YOU MUST TRY MY NEW QUASAR HACKING DEVICE. WILL EARN YOU MILLIONS IN CREDITS. PLUG IN TO DEVICE, DO NOT GET CAUGHT, SIMPLE ENOUGH SAAR.

You can thank humanity for that tech

the sword mode is pretty useful actually. I use it to chop vegetables sometimes. way more convenient than a regular knife since you don't have to clean an omnitool

The Salarians have been making a lot of headway into hard light technology

same way as tech armor works, dumbfuck. it's a kinetic field that exerts force on objects. it's great for self defense, you sounds like you need it.

Manga is shit, you turian retard. Earth's superhero comics are much better. I really like the green fella Hulk.

What's to stop a ship from going FTL into a planet causing mass destruction?

manage to bust my ass off and get considered for N7

nearly wash out on my first day because of the insanely QT sniper trainee keeps distracting me, then actively fucking with me when she finds out

think about asking her out, but then she shows me a picture of her mother

she’s tatted up literally EVERYWHERE

holy shit this explains so much

then she casually drops that her dad is some big shot and she lives on the fucking presidium

still want to fuck her anyway

Talk me out of sticking my dick on crazy, Anon Babble

Hello friends I am Hugh Mann. I'm starting to think Earth sucks, y'know? The thresher maws here are so puny and the clan politics are so woke and gay. I'm thinking of taking my family and moving to Tuchanka, I heard the cost of living is really cheap and they don't tax you as much. Who's with me?

you sounds like you need it

Uh oh the vorcha woke up

This I had my Quarian co worker tweak the settings around a bit and she made it burn a little less intense
So now when I slice bread it's nice and toasted for me.

I'm surprised you let a suit rat anywhere near any piece of technology. My volus buddy literally went to stroll around the Presidium for a bit and the second he left a store a quarian stole his credit chit

pic related. got this like 7 hours ago.

KROGAN OVER ALL. no but seriously they need to make a mass effect movie trilogy.

Quarian co-worker

Hmmmmm???

Marry an Asari

She'll live for hundreds of years after you're dead until you're barely a footnote in her life

Any kids you have will barely remember you before long and will probably have five more dads after

Guaranteed to only get daughters that look nothing like you and will eventually take another man's name

Dating an Asari is literally signing up to end your bloodline and get posthumously cucked. Think about it logically.

Earth-clan women love Big Volus cock, or so I have been told.

That is why you marry and impregnate Asari matriachs that have 100 or so years left to live.

Holy fucking shit! The new Human Councilor actually did it!
They fucking declassified the STG files on the genophage!
Happening!!!!

inb4 not videogames

the turians did nothing wrong
N O T H I N G W R O N G
O
T
H
N
G

W
R
O
N
G

marrying a citadel corridor

couldn't be me lol

Kroganigs

Who cares?

I can't afford to move to the Citadel and I think she's stuck here in the same situation because of that pilgrimage thing they do. I work in a little shipyard repair place in some dead end world.

see an asari matriarch

boner alert

look at her extranetMEET account

THREE ardat-yakshi daughters

Never get with an asari.

genophage

Don't let the humans distract you from the fact that the Barbarian Alpha Relay explosion was an inside job!!!

A single person was able to blow up a relay? Really?

Asari hags need love, sex and children too. They also have much bigger tits than human women.

The only thing that would change would be me wanting to give a batarian a medal instead

and you could fit your entire being into that used up thresher maw that she calls a pussy lol
would probably think about her first love the entire time she's having sex with you

Do you guys think commander Shepard is a vtard? Does he even play videogames?

I tried searching how heavy Elcor shits are but apparently that information is classified.

I'm pretty sure he's the batarian genocide poster

Reminder that all asari have a so-called "matron stage" where they spend centuries whoring themselves across the galaxy. It's all on the Terra Firma site

Don't care. I play with her head tentacles while sucking her giant blueberry tits, all the while she is jerking me off and saying embrace eternity. I already had 3 daughters with her btw.

I already had 3 daughters with her btw.

did she tell you that they're yours? kek
reminder: all asari offspring come out asari

that one video where the asari blows like 8 krogans, 2 turians, and a varren.

gets to the post shoot interview

she's asked about her happiest moment with her salarian dad.

You can actually see her soul leave her eyes.

Suicide by ardat-yakshi. Should I do it?

did she tell you that they're yours?

I know that they are mine because we mind meld quite frequently. She also loves what I can do with my penis and hands.

Nah, don't. From what I hear ardat-yakshi victims don't even get to stick it in, they just get their brains fried or whatever. Honestly it sounds like a pretty lame way to go

Well, shit. Tome to ingest some female turian juices.

know that they are mine because we mind meld quite frequently

she controls everything you see
you're literally getting mindfucked

Korgan hands typed these posts.

First, you have to find one that isn't living in a sanctuary, and then if you manage to find one you have to actually talk to one for an extended amount of time without spilling your spaghetti or revealing your powerlevel. Too hard for a 3 second experience that fries your brain.

asaricuck gets told the truth

deflects to korgan posting

everytime

The way the bald girl in the citadel talks about being a slave to batarians while she’s on the verge of suicide gave me chills. Reminded me of the migrant rape gangs in England. Total Batarian death

I will not stop reuploading my copy of First Contact Whore: an XXX parody until every Turian has seen it
The group bukkake ending with human males on Turian female commander is the greatest porno scene of our generation
(I know it isn't historically accurate but we kicked their asses and who wants to watch human guys on male Turian, yuck gay)

Got a milsim about a protracted First Contact war

Proximity voice chat so naturally everybody's shitposting at each other in character

Turian gf comes home as I'm telling the Turians pushing us to go home while their family still recognizes them

Twenty minutes later both of us are playing Turians and she's teaching me new slurs to use for humans

First Contact would have been so fucking gay with any other species.

Did you guys see that vid of Shepard fucking punching that reporter? How did he not get cancelled and his Spectre status revoked for that?

Sex with them doesn't feel pleasurable, if you really want to go that way stick an omniblade in your ass it's easier

implying that it's worse to have an active 40 year life than to be one of those long lived slowpokes who somehow manage to encapsulate thousands of years of their species's rot and decay in themselves

youtube.com/watch?v=wRxHYHPzs7s

Sex with them doesn't feel pleasurable

Oh yeah, and how do you know?

Why stop at just revoking his Spectre status? The Spectres needed to be defunded a long time ago.
It's a criminal organization that destabilizes planets so the Council Races can take over.
ASAB!

An ardat-yakshi is litterally just an asari's whose reproductive organs are mutated in a way that harms her partner. It's the equivalent of fucking a human with vaginal teeths, how the fuck do you expect it to be pleasurable

No not all spectres are like this. Just those hairless apes, we should never have given them a spectre let alone a fucking counciler. You'd never see a turian spectre punch a reporter for no reason

Nobody cares about human reporters, have you ever seen a salarian ambush people in an elevator to ask them rude questions? Has a turian snoop ever pestered you to insult you with loaded questions? If the human press wants to operate without being punched, they should try being more polite

she only had sex with other asari

You can save her. Show her the wonders of interspecies sex.

How do you know that?

youtu.be/WkvECUsPkXA?si=9w4G4cU2xr2hKhql
Humanbros....

Are biojobs a thing? Asking for a friend.

After a confession like this, no jury in the galaxy would convict him.

Based. Humans are alright.

Dead thread.

Alright, Asari of Anon Babble. Time to get serious. Rank the other species. I´ll start

1) Humans
2) Quarians
3) Turians
4) Drell
5) Salarians
6) Krogans
7) Vorcha
8) Elcor
9) Batarians
10) Volus
11) Hanar

Kroganbros.....not like this.

Tits or GTFO.

Based.

It's our hair guys mine loves to autistically play with it like a total sped especially while I fuck her

Bullshit I know Krogan’s love JJBA, I’ve seen you fuckers trying to subtly buy it for years.

Depends on what you like? The Fistful of Dollars Trilogy is pretty good, and almost anything with John Wayne or Lee Van Cleef.

Krogan is a MarvelFAG

DISCARDED.

IIIIII
AMMM
KROGANNN!!!!

Fucking an Asarian is the same as fucking a nigger!
You are throwing your genetic legacy into the trash.

Just leave them then. Cum and go.

>a video called "Breaking Omega's #1 Rule"

which rule? asking for a friend

HumanCHADS.....

i work in the embussies

what did he mean by this?

Yes.

yup, he plays vr a lot on pinnacle station and on the citadel

tfw no batarian enemies

asari of Anon Babble

Do Turian and Asari women like jacked human men? Asking for a friend?

Krogans

Nobody cares.