To your average human in the 40K universe, living on a Tau world is objectively better than living on an Imperium world

To your average human in the 40K universe, living on a Tau world is objectively better than living on an Imperium world.

i want a disgusting freakshit nurgle priestess to give me the best sloppy in the world before she melts my brain with 99 different STI's and a bout of botulism

I want to have sexual relations with the water cast diplomat

just get a slaany+nurgle combo wifey. less aids, more fertility

our

same

ACKSHUALLY the retarded soulless mind control space commies are the good guys! SEE! I made subversive propaganda aping the anniemay style you like so much! What do you mean those filthy chinks hate the Glorious Tau?

I….I….

You're dating an Indian?

I'm a weeb and the Tau aestetic looks cool, but story-wise I can't stand the Tau. They feel like someone's special OC race.

speech 30

i love easy sluts

post yfw the 1d4chan sister of nurgle page

our

Rather invade a planet of theirs and rape them instead, much better than trying to fit in with them

Is there more of this cute Tau water cast femboy?

you're allowed to hate the tau. Everyone can hate whatever they want.

I hope so

This is true for every 40k faction, retard.

I would betray the Imperium in a heart beat

blueberry shortcakes

Objectively better

It's gay

Do i get a cute femboy assigned to me? What more goodies?

proofs?

Depending on preference you get a femboy or a woman. It's for the greater good.

Taufags hate the truth.
That Tau were originally going to be an amalgmation of different races, rolled out over time. Kroot and Vespids (which nobody fucking remembers anymore) were just the start. There were supposed to be others. Their story would have been much more focused on amalgamating the disparate factions over time.
But 40k army building became very focused on larger centerpiece models, and the battlesuits became very popular over anything else. So GW pivoted to focusing exclusively on Tau technology progress to sell paypigs 5 new types of battlesuits per edition. The result is their current lore.

Look at the quality of life on a human world vs a Tau world.

Man I'm fucking old.
Do you remember what lewd images looked like back in the early 2000s? Bolt on tits. No real sense of squishiness or weight. Nowadays its actually mindboggling to see just a piece of almost throwaway fanart capture those things so seemingly easily.
Its almost weird to think how far internet art has come in 20 years.

may I see them?

I find this scenario funny because in order for a Gue'vesa to even be able to fight alongside the fire caste, they'd need to have already proven themselves in combat and shown extreme dedication to the cause.

So imagine you're a decorated veteran, the paragon of your people, and finally considered an equal to the people who uplifted your hive world, only to end up being the bottom bitch to a bunch of blueberries.

Live on a planet created in dedication to the God emperor

Or have to be around filthy xenos

I think I know what I would prefer

it would be worth the constant primal dread

Every Tau thread is just a thinly veiled way of posting more Tau softcore porn.

we support the imperium here

cringe

stop wanting to fuck aliens!

thigg..

I'm not seeing the problem here

That’s so based

Tau women in canon are hideous though and humans who live on Tau worlds live regular lives with barely any contact with the other species and are forcibly sterilized.

Tyranids discover vorefags

Start producing Nid/Human hybrids to acquire easy biomass

I cant

Would you rather it be yet another twitter screencap thread? or maybe an expedition 33 thread?

You fell for Imperium propaganda

think of the tau men!

Tiffany Towers had the best bolt ons

Where can I get Tau gf?

Rogue trader slave market

tau

youtube.com/watch?v=-knHguBTfXI

It's sooooo boring, can I pay to get ?

as someone who is just entering the 40k universe, what is the deal with these blue things?
all i've seen over it points to being quite a nice place overall, but there has to be some downside to their conversion if they adopt humans right?
do they turn the excess humans to stew or something?
also what is a good race to play as if i like the color green? i know Chaos is redish, these are blue, there's some yellow guys but my favorite color is green

If you like green I guess Orks or Kroot

Traumatized imperial guard soldier who recently became disillusioned about the empire x supportive xenophilic water caste gf

what is the deal with these blue things?

Tau. They're pitched as a super young upstart race that developed very fast, technologically. Lorewise they're often said to be only around as long as no other big faction has the time and resources to actually give the tau their full attention. Basically if anyone through a full, real, crusade at them the tau wouldn't stand a chance.
They all believe in "The Greater Good" basically idealized socialism, and are split into castes that are genetically, as well as culturally split. So an Air caste (diplomats and pilots) is physically tall and thin, Fire caste (warriors) are squat and more muscled etc. They're all beholden to the Ethereal caste, which its all but confirmed have mind control pheremones.

here has to be some downside to their conversion if they adopt humans right?

Most lore points to humans being second rate citizens and mostly being secretly sterilized. Tau Greater Good is for Tau, not for humans. They don't (usually) outright genocide humans though, so thats technically better treatment than even the Imperium gives humans sometimes.

also what is a good race to play as if i like the color green?

Orkz is Green and Green is dah best!
Failing that you could look at Necrons. I think some Eldar official colours are Green. Dark Angels and Salamanders (specific kind of Space Marines) are green.
You can paint Tyranids whatever you want and no one cares. One of the few factions you can still do that with these days.

Since Dawn of War isn't canon the implications from it aren't concrete evidence. But there is enough allusions from their rulebooks that whilst not outright sinister the Tau will do whatever they need to in order to serve and amalgamate all under the Greater Good. And that Tau themselves are fist among equals, with the Ethereal Caste ruling over them all. Examples of this are the communion helms the Vespid leadership wears which is implied to potentially be a form of mind control. And whilst the Tau may seem friendly at first that is only up to the point where they don't get what they want, then it will be attempting to foster insurrection of loyal Imperium worlds to lure them over to their side, or just outright invasion whilst claiming it is for 'humanitarian' reasons. They are very much the sort of insidious kind of xeno the Emperor was worried about because whilst they might appear friends they very much aren't.

really our

Kill yourself, ESL. If you aren’t actually ESL, you should still kill yourself for liking 40k.

Tau (the blue things) were horribly miswritten. It was meant to be a brainwashed asian empire that brought everyone into the fold (usually with brainwashing propoganda) for better or worse, but the people writing it 1. didn't want to be too mean to asians, and 2. forgot that this was wh40k, and being brainwashing, I AM VERY HONORABU assholes is...what the Imperium is. But its European-flavored instead of asian, and 30x worse.

So the asians are now not nearly as morally heinous as the group of humans that grinds dead people into food to feed the trillions of soldiers that are a part of its horrendous military industrial complex. You could make them worse, but then you have an Araby situation where you're making a caricature of Nippon Bushido look like shit, so you're hardlocked and cant go anywhere. They ultimately decided to basically sideline them. They're stuck on a bunch of planets, can't use warp travel (for reasons), and are constantly under attack and nothing ever happens. They aren't getting worse, and they aren't getting better, and Games Workshop just have to hope people don't notice them, throwing them a bone once in a while because Mech suits sell.

Sidenote, but there was an actual melty of the 35 year old slobbering marinedad fanbase because a (1, uno) nip tau character killed 2 (dos) space marines, and this is UNACCEPTABLE. Its okay if Ghazgull dies to a literal who Spacemarie furry, though, because....it just is, ok?

getting mad at the artist who is not in this thread

That's not nice, xe drew such a pretty picture after all.

I wonder if they have ever said anything about any of the 40k races being unable to swim

Its okay if Ghazgull dies to a literal who Spacemarie furry, though, because....it just is, ok?

Shut up. That did not happen. THE GREATEST ORK WARBOSS CAN'T DIE BECAUSE OF SOME IDIOT'S FETISH.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU MADE THAT UP.

Necrons probably can't. Most humans probably can't

man i miss when the Tau were genuinely the "good guys" in the galaxy, i was ok with that always they were also the weakest of the factions.

orkz iz best

I thought you were a GEP gun

They’re still better than most.

Femboys are safe horny perpetuated by the jews. Any and all of your arguments otherwise will be cope or trying to act nonchalant (also cope)

Yes, but he isn't dead. A Space Wolf who is "allegedly" "supposedly" "probably" next in line to be Chapter Master (Not a Primarch, not a Chapter Master, but a Chapter Master's personal fuckhole) killed Ghazgull. He cut his head off and the Painboy reattached it (again).

Marineslobs who are pushing 50 and raising 2 children that aren't their own thought this was peak fiction

If it makes you feel any better, Yarrick also got killed offscreen. He was confirmed as minimum bisexual, possibly gay, also. No, that isn't a joke.

How do Tau tackle Imperials who serve them but still worship the emperor?

Pretty sure they have freedom of religion so long as it doesn't conflict or get in the way of whatever duties they are assigned. That being said any true loyalists to the Imperial Creed would have fought to the death to stop the Tau, or are in concentration/re-education camps.

they let humies worship emps, just without the xenophobia parts for obvious reasons

would
would
canonically they just strip out the xenophobic parts but they do still allow worship of Big E as a deity (in ideal situations its 40k so this does not always happen)

Religious freedom is permitted and they don't care if humans worship the emprah. You're probably still getting sterilized though.

Killing Your Own Franchise any% speedrun.

last part meant for

Even when they launched there were suggestions the Ethereals were using mind control and were a bit evil, and any humans weren't necessarily being treated as equals. Read the their first codex. Tau were never unequivocally the "good guys".

Surprisingly tolerant of the Tau.
I read somewhere long ago that most imperials who end up in Tau service do so when a planet they’re stationed on either gets sold by a planetary governor or surrenders since Astartes help never arrived.

Tau women are bald and most likely have no tits canonically. They would look like a blue Martian-Manhunter.

I read somewhere long ago that most imperials who end up in Tau service do so when a planet they’re stationed on either gets sold by a planetary governor or surrenders since Astartes help never arrived.

that or during the Damocles Crusade the Imperium about faced to deal with the existential tyranid issue it straight up abandoned a lot of IG who, sometimes surrendered which the Tau would accept on good terms by 40k standards
shit like that can happen too

take your meds schizo, everyone knows femboys are gay it's not some conspiracy.

I think I read a lore bit where they even actively encourage a perversion of Imperial Creed where emps is a manifestation of the Greater Good or the other way around. Anything to get the humies to surrender.

these ones are mixed breeds between pure blood Tau and human
just like in real life, the oddjobs that jack off to alien monsters will eventually create humanoid anime looking aliens for the rest of humanity by out breeding them to oblivion

It would be Emperor worship in another form since the official imperial cult is incompatible.

Basically the choice is to try and hold out until help arrives, fight to the death, or join the Tau and hope they will protect you from Imperial retaliation. If the planet is reacquired by the Imperium anyone that didn't actively resist the Tau to the point of dying will be considered a collaborator and thus a traitor and be dealt with accordingly.

The Tau have evolved quickly, leading to huge deficits and weaknesses in their physiology. use these facts to your advantage and you will prevail

+ Tau have hollow bones. Their limbs break easily under little applied pressure

+ Tau have poor eyesight. Anything over ten meters away is always a blur

+ Tau are frighted by fire

+ Tau are frighted by water

+ Tau are frighted by thunder

Xenos experts have discovered that tau are descended from bovine herbivores. thus they are not predators and fighting is unnatural to them

Tau have udders, short tails above the base of the spine, and they excrete enormous amount of methane gas, especially when they are stressed

They chew cud for approximately four hours a day. When involved in this disgusting habit their metabolism and reflexes slow down, making them very vulnerable to attack

Tau are herd creatures that panic easily. Their usual response to stressful situations is either wail and lie face down on the ground with their hand over their heads, or run around in circles hoping to confuse their aggressor.

In battle, the Tau are disorganized and cowardly. They fight from a distance and their poor aim makes this tactic ineffective.

To compensate for their poor eyesight, they have developed acute hearing. Their eardrums are so sensitive that if you make a large enough noise (for example, shouting the Litany of death) it causes deafness and immediate confusion.

The Tau are naturally hairless and find hirsute people unnerving

these ones are mixed breeds between pure blood Tau and human

He thinks the Ethereals would allow this

Humans are mostly sterilized during regular medical assessment as part of their induction into the Tau empire. They keep just enough unsterilized to keep up appearances.

Farsight Enclaves have a human planet

They are like the Roman Republic in that they tolerate other faiths. As long as you pay your taxes you can worship whomever or whatever you want. For example, I worship Tau asses and the Tau empire respects that.

It is just basic subversion via pipul to taint the opinion that the Emperor would prefer his subjects to survive and that the Greater Good has commonality with the grand unification that the Emperor was attempting. They are quite literally the sort of insidious xeno that the Emperor worried most about.

living on a Tau world is objectively better than living on an Imperium world

yeah its great, right up until you wonder why nobody is having children, and eventually you get clued into the fact that you have been irreversibly chemically castrated along with every other human, and you will be the last generation

yes

ANALYSIS: 60% addressing imaginary argument never said in initial post, 40% acting nonchalant
CONCLUSION: Cope

Tau woman can get cosmetic alterations to give them all kinds of things. Like breasts navels or more human lips if they wanted. Probably only the ones on obscure planets on the edge of the empire where the brainwashing is less pronounced and human Tau relations are more close knit.

But there is also the fact that even without breasts I would still fuck a Tau so all in all, I don't care.

If you didnt immediately kill your commanding officer for their own failing to immediately kill their own commanding officer for even considering surrendering to xenos, you are not an imperial.

everyone brings up the sterilization thing

Yeah forced sterilization is bad. But if i'm living with Tau why would I care? I live with humans right now and am already voluntarily sterile. The means are bad, but the end isn't really all that bad. The Imperium does worse to human populations. It's a grimdark universe, forced sterilization really is the "good" outcome compared to the alternatives.

THIS THREAD FUCKING SUCKS
PURGE IT IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Through the magic of MS Paint, I have made this image less painful to look at

Nah

Funfact: Lorewise Tau smile like humans because of the humans in their empire taught them and now they do it even when theirs no humans around.

Meanwhile in canon:

Tau are not allowed to form family units.

Tau aren't allowed to choose their own partners.

Tau aren't allowed to raise their own children.

Tau are completely oblivious to things like "love" or "romance."

Tau are forbidden from breeding outside the caste.

And that's putting aside how they actually good. You'd have a better chance, unironically, at romancing a Dark Eldar (actually the most common Xenos/Human pairing in canon, to the point there's a mention of a caste of hybrids living in Commoragh), a Corsair Eldar, a Genestealer, or a number of other species.

Sterilization was only ever theorized to have happen by an imperial in their ending for DoW, which isn't even canon. It's just been repeated so long everyone thinks it's confirmed.

The Ciaphas Cain novels specifically show that life on an average Imperial world is very much a normal, non-grimdark affair.

They mention Tau sterilizing humans in the Deathwatch RPG books which are canon

i respect you

No species is a monolith, there are always those who do not follow cultural rules or expectations no matter the cost. North Koreans consume south Korean culture despite it being a death penalty worthy offence. Lots of Jews eat pork despite it being against their rules. Many Americans understand other cultural norms that are completely unknown to most. There are probbaly Tau that go against expectations rules and laws. The concept of love is probably the hardest one for them to get, a human Tau attachment is probably base don mutual interest and familiarity. But hey, there are psychopaths who can't feel or understand love who are in relationships so who knows.

Well that's no fun. No on in the Warhammer universe should be happy aside for the orks as they already technically won.

The fuck? Did the drawer goon out during writing the speech bubbles?
And what are femboy about these anyway? They look like regular females like a human would recognize them.
The fuck is wrong with gooners?

the Deathwatch RPG books which are canon

Technically not. They were made under license, and everything that went in there was reviewed and approved by GW, but it was not an actual GW product. It was in effect its own IP setting as GW had mandates to not pull any lore stuff from them since there were concerns over ownership rights. The only real canon is GW Codexes. Even BL stuff doesn't actually hold weight.

Yes, I recall it's mentioned in a novel that the Ethereal Caste is worried that the Tau pick up Human mannerisms and behaviours frighteningly quickly.

Tau social and scientific evolution was suspiciously fast, it's almost like they're engineered to be quick learners...

They should be worried what will happen once the Tau get a taste of big human cock.

Sure, but apparently this is the first time this is happening. They haven been aping Vespids, Kroot, the Nicassar, or any other allied race. Only Humans.

And now they literally share a Goddess.

The commissar is looking out for me

Anon, it's mentioned in canon that the Imperium during the Great Crusade had "client races" as part of it, and the Emperor had no problem with them.

The Tau would've been right up his alley.

Shitty take.
The nice places are what make the grimdark stuff worth it. If everywhere is shit there's no reason to fight for it.
40k has flanderized itself, at least half of that has come from shitty lorelets that have never picked up a codex or rulebook to actually read the lore and instead talk about the fanfic tier shit that is the novels.

Humans are literal natural domesticators
Its just this time the symbiotic relationship is a mutual defense pact

Tbf i think the tau would find humans to be more relatable than literal notDrones and notJackals

Because humans and tau are meant to be friends. Like humans and Sangheili in Halo. or human and vulcans in star Trek. Some match ups are just natural fits.

People forget that the Imperium has OVER A MILLION inhabited worlds. Not counting space stations, moons, space ships etc.

Even if there's a war on 10,000 of them at the same time, or even 50,000, that still leaves the vast majority being peaceful.

Post forehead and nose

Client races were more like the Votann and other minor species. Too small to affect the imperium to any major extent, and largely devoid of chaos taint. Tau are too big and too obsessed with their greater good to be tolerable.

I want blueberry butt. How will you fix that, water cast?

Votann

Minor race

Tau

Greater threat

Anon, the entire Tau Empire, after several expansions, is around 50 worlds. It's stated outright that their entire population is smaller than a single Hive World.

Meanwhile the Votann have the entire Galactic Core.

Meanwhile the Votann have the entire Galactic Core.

Yeah but why would we need to be afraid of a race that can't even reach the top shelf?

Votann are fucking gay. I hate them.

Why would you be afraid of a race that has the lifespan of 40 years, and breed much slower than Humans?

It was a really fucking bad swing and a miss from GW. And then some madlad actually went and made Squats for Necromunda, including trikes.

Hes cute!

it's in a videogame! well, it's it's in an RPG! b-b-but it's in the radio play! They mention it in the stage performance "space wolves on ice"!

In addition to what, even at their worst, a puny humie living under the Tau is probably the least worst living condition on the entire setting. Unless you happen to be really lucky to find yourself into the Human Planet of the Farsight Enclaves, where the titular ruler lets the humies govern themselves and where there might be possible to find caste interbreeding, but the lore doesnt dwell much on those details.

Also the irony of Tau fanart being very anime-like because they were LITERALLY DESIGNED TO APPEAL TO THE JAPANESE, and are alien sentient bovines, the kind of animal famous for its enormous production of milk.

puny humie living under the Tau is probably the least worst living condition on the entire setting

500 words of Ultramar are genuinely nice when they're not invaded by 'Nids or Girlyman's Chaos brothers paying him a visit.

See . Most of the Imperium is fairly normal to live in. It's just that, due to the nature of the game, most novels take place on planets where shit has hit the fan in a bad enough way they require Space Marines.

Nta but I hate the stupid chicken legs and the no hands look of the Tau Battlesuits.

The first negative applies to the Imperium as well, you are a slave regardless.

The second negative is accurate I will admit, and agree with you.

As for the third, your dick will work fine, it's your balls that will allegedly be made to not work.

Imperium at least will kill you if they want you dead. Tau would expect you to kill yourself.

They've got hands, they're just always shown tucked in. The old farsight was the only model that ever really showed them deployed. Newer models like the commander and the new farsight just give them full hands. If they do a refresh or a new variant of crisis suits they'll probably do the same with them.

Games Workshop, just like the Imperium of Man, only exists due to the accomplishments of far greater people who have long been forgotten. It is a miserable, sexless and Ivdaic peddler of plastic superheroes for Redditors and I do not give a FUCK about what some giant corporation thinks that Tau females look like because I want to cum inside a salacious, communist blueberry.

I know I just...When I think of 40k mechs I think big ass powerfists. You know Titans sucker punchers and Power Klaws and shit.
Still those weird chicken legs on the Battlesuits are terrible, I feel they should be either a hover unit or some kind of rockets.

The story is this.
Games Workshop creates a sci-fi version of their barely coherent fantasy setting and starts out porting over most of the factions they already created.
Mankind? Da Empire complete with medieval gothic stuff slapped over the sci-fi.
Orks? Basically the same except fungus.
Elves? They're there too and even call humans monkeys!
Chaos? Of course they're there, but explained by psychic reality warping shit instead of magic.
Tomb Kangz? Replace undead with souless robots and there you go.
Lizard Men? Technically in but as a background super race.

Even dwarves made it before GW got embarrassed about it and retconned them.

You see, GW actually decided they didn't like people pointing out that the 40k setting was just porting over the most popular fantasy setting stuff. They had the Nids, but that wasn't enough (There are some that argue they're just space Skaven anyway)

So they created the Tau. A sci fi alien race that insists it's so sci-fi it forgoes the pulpy fantasy inspired designs of basically every other faction. A more basic, practical looking space armor and shape design, Warp insensitivity as a racial trait, a dry, practical philosophical culture that basically straight up mocks the 40k's grim dark setting.

The Tau basically exist as an obtuse, almost star trek tier alien race firmly wedged into the franchise just so GW can claim 40k isn't a mirror to WH fantasy despite being the only example.

And thus, Age of Sigmar fags await the introduction of a minotaur race that stands for the Greater Good.

So if I'm found to be a bvll I will get to impregnate all the mixed Tau qts?

Draw female character

Call it a boy

Crisis Suits are basically hover units. They don't walk around, they fly everywhere. They just model them on the base because it looks better and is more stable. We used to have Crisis Suits on flight stands on bases back in 3rd Ed and it was a nightmare.

Having fucked a couple femboys before I can confirm sometimes it do be like that.

I get the hands, but making them pure hover units with no legs kills the appeal. The fun part of mechs and power armors like this is landing and bouncing off again. If they only fly then they're just hovering or aircraft.

Tau as a retail product was designed for Battletech fans that had accepted the only way they'd ever find another wargame match was to switch to 40k.
Their lore was "this faction is irrelevant" because they were designed for people that had absolutely zero interest in or desire to engage with early-2000s WH40k cringe.
Eventually they got lore books that 0% of Tau players but 90% of 40k autists ever bothered reading.

Chicken legs are awesome, but i do agree about the fists. Every day I pray in my heart of hearts for a melee Tau unit besides Farsight