Skyrim belongs to the Nords

Skyrim belongs to the Nords.

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seen any elves? hahahahaha

literal reddit meme

KEK

HAHAHAHHHAHHAHAAAHHA

hahahahahahaha

cringe 4th era milkdrinker
based 3rd era GOD

Yeah, to the NORDS
Slutassi and Fucks-Human-Men have no place in it

cinema

Lol get fucking ELFED

Skyrim belongs to the Empire because the last Dragonborn is canonically the descendant of Martin Septim and the nord female HoK whom he had loving wild unprotected sex with every day and every night at Cloud Ruler Temple and on the way to Weynon Priory. Don't question it Todd revealed it to me in a dream.

dunmer women belong to me

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Skyrim belongs to everyone.
The Nords have no right to decide who can live there or not.

True, just like Israel. The israeli have no right to decide who can live there or not.

The Nerevarine is the strongest TES protagonist. Prove me wrong, you literally can't.

And my cat wife

based based based

Replace her with an Argonian (male) and he's literally me.

same but with male HoK

spell effect

soul trap 1 second

can become stronger than any God at level 1

It's true.

Eternal Champion had to do 50x more shit than any other protagonist

Argonians can change gender. They're sequential hermaphrodites.

Prove me wrong, you literally can't.

True, because Neravarine was a powerful Altmer female mage

Nerevar was a male Dunmer, you dumb tranny vermin.

plebbit tier meme doesn't actually know the lore

argonians can't reproduce with any other species

ifunny.co

skyrim threads really bring out the subhuman plebbit trash don't they

He was a 6'3 NordCHAD.

Skyrim is London tier diverse.

We need a game of mostly khajits or argonians. They are always the funniest characters in the game, either super retards or talking shit 24/7

Ifunny is based beyond belief, if only you knew....

I play as a Breton mage supporting Ulfric in civil war, should my wife be Argonian or Khajiiti? Genuine question to lorebeards.

I know the meta answer is that Bethesda is lazy but how come canonically in Elder Scrolls there are only half-high elves (bretons)? Why aren't there half dark elves or wood elves .etc?

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you should let an altmer chad ravage your boypussy, as is tradition

I've already begun Helgen Reborn questline with total altmer massacre though.

Why aren't there half dark elves or wood elves .etc

There are, it just doesn't become a different race unless it goes on for a long time. Bretons aren't half-elves; they're humans with a small amount of elf dna from an ancient rapefest

elder scrolls is vague on how race mixing even works.
you never actually see someone directly mixed with human and elf parents.
the mixing of the bretons happened long ago.

mundus racial genes are incredibly resilient and pass down the mother's line. A nord fucking an elf woman will make an elf baby, its only when you repeat that cycle for an absurdly long time that you get weird halfies

in Oblivion, count Csaran and the argonian maid Sheen-in-Glade had a son
read in-game books you stupid nigger

If you count Orcs as elves the Grey Prince from Oblivion is a half Orc/Imperial but that is basically it.

They are literally orsiMER.
They have pointy ears.
They are elves.

You like to dance close to the fire, don't you?

Half Dark Elves

Azura something something

Half Orcs

Malacath something something

Half Bosmer

There should be

Half Farming Equipment

Hist something something

Half Khajit

There probably are, since they can breed with normal felines

My question is, if a Breton fucks an Imperial, is it a Breton or an Imperial kid?

Is the Dragonborn basically the Pelinal Whitestrake of Dragons?

bro why are you fuckin those ugly ass lizards

By the way, there is no issue or hypocrisy in this pic simply because we are a resource, and there is no shame in claiming a woman from another race.

more for me

Women are a resource*
Sorry for phone posting

What's the best Dragon overhaul mod or mods?

Based.

Other races of Nirn status: Colonized

I didnt play ESO since 2021
what did I miss other than the new class?
is it dying/dead yet?

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The Vestige beat up several daedric princes mono a mono.

Dragonborn in a shard of Akatosh
Pelinal Whitestrake might be mantling Lorkhan
Talos, Lorkhan and Akatosh buttsex

Elder Scrolls

Unicorn Overlord

Those are the only two hmofa games that I can think of.

Talos, Lorkhan and Akatosh buttsex

So the rumors are true.

The Hero of Kvatch is literally an unkillible deadra now who regularly sasses Molag Bal at dinner parties and all old Molag can do about it is nod and take it because his nature demands he respect the fact that the dude mantled Sheogorath successfully.

>Unicorn Overlord

Dinah is best girl

No, that would be the loli rabbit vendor.

subclassing(next month) and spellcrafting

That's craaaaazy wokegender

"The reproductive biology of Orcs is at present not well understood"

This nigga Lovidicus was a pioneer in possibly the worst way possible

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Holding hands

Gay

morgans skate club

Jagar Tharn is the result of a beautiful dunmer soiling herself with n'wahs, nonetheless a mongrel dog

I think I am going to hurl

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Does Sheogorath just decide he wants to look like an Imperial after the fact? How does his mantling work if the HoK can be any race?

Y'ffer in hell

What was his fucking problem?

Snoot Game, I think there's some dude in DFO that fucks a purple dog woman, Sucker for Love if you consider the Nyanlathotep route legit...

That's about it I can think of.

loves his job too much

Actually Martin having sex with a male HoK and dying without heirs makes more sense from a canon point of view. There is no way the Blades wouldn't have known if there was a descendant of Martin around.

Haskill is a vestige of a former mantle and the Sheogorath you meet in SI is a mantled guy that you can read in the books in the expansion, don't think too much about it it just happens

The HoK became Sheogorath, at that point the HoK ceases to really be

anon the game came out 14 years ago

Are you asking why Sheogorath looks like an imperial in Skyrim? If so that's because the Sheogorath you see in Skyrim is the hero of Kvatch who is canonically an imperial. Sheogorath keeps the body of whoever he mantles which is why he always looks different in each game (other than the actual reason that Bethesda is artistically inconsistent)

You think Mannimarco dipped his balls into that sweet leathery Draugr pussy? Why aren't there more half undead like the Gray Prince? Surely a guy powerful enough to become a moon could conjure up a way for fouling the wombs of the dead, like finding an Ayleid tomb and getting his dick wet ancestral lich style.

The child is always the race of the mother, but that invalidates the existence of Bretons.

It is a fucking sadness that one of the rabbits wasn't a legit party member. It would have been a fun callback to Odin Sphere

but that invalidates the existence of Bretons.

Premium Thalmor thinking fellow Altmer, very impressive.

The dragonborn doesnt have dragon blood, just the soul of a dragon

Mannimarco would do something that degenerate but on Red Mountain we have standards. Our dreams of the one true God Dagoth Ur and a collective consciousness is all we need.

Honestly after playing Morrowind I no longer care about those snowniggers that much. Dark Elves are way more interesting.

jyggy returns and fucks off

dyus was left behind

what gives?

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Shut up and play your flute, nigmer.

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Source that the dragonborn in Skyrim doesn't have dragon blood?

I dupped his sword and he's pissed I only gave him the copy. It's my fault, I'm not sorry.

racist dwarf + racist dark elf = dnd duergar, the most based race in all of fantasy

sees Martin die

sees Lucien die

goes mad to the point of becoming the God of Madness

Oblivion is really a tragic love story.

Assuming we're not counting exploits (including dumb shit like potion loops that results in several million % increases to stats) it's probably
Nerevarine > TLD > Agent > HoK > EC
But the gap isn't that big. Nerevarine easily wins because he can fucking fly and shoot infinite, nuke-sized fireballs from orbit, he's literally impossible to hit with 100 Sanctuary and can hit like a fucking truck with melee.
TLD late-game is ridiculously hard to kill but his offense is held back by a lack of spellcrafting, low speed and being stuck on the ground.
If you haven't played Daggerfall you're probably confused about the Agent being so high but I'd encourage you to get him to around level 20 and you'll understand. Armor in DF works by decreasing your chance to be hit, as does Dodge and Speed. It's functionally impossible to hit the Agent and he runs around at about 100mph with no enchantments, just a high speed stat. He is well-suited for his ridiculously huge worldspace by having the highest movement speed of any protag.
HoK can get ridiculous with spellcrafting and potions but not as much as TLD and not even close to the Nerevarine.
The EC does some ridiculous shit in lore but his in-game depiction is quite muted. He is nowhere near as strong as his direct successor, despite the fact the games look quite similar.

Why did Todd make a khajiit the only romance option in Morrowind

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Convoluted Opinion: The bad end for the Empire after Ocato's assassination and Thalmer war only happened because the Grey Fox undid his curse under the Cowl of Nocturnal and thus altered the timeline solely for himself as an Imperial noble, not caring what else may come of it. Nocturnal then doomed the entire Empire out of spite for his daring to not only callously play with time but also having the gall fuck with one of her toys like that. Everything after you become the grandmaster of the thieves guild is an entirely separate reality instigated by the personal dragonbreak that the Grey Fox caused. He stole the empire's future.

orcs ARE MER!!!!

orcblins

orcgres

vampire orc

mer could not reproduce with such disgusting things.

Nerevar is the strongest protagonist prove me wrong

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Lets not forget fucking Dumac. Also known as Dumac Dwarf-Orc and Dumac Dwarfking or Dumalacath. Fucking sub-elf orc half-breed spawn of Sanguine's foul treachery. Disgusting.

calls ifunny subhuman

anon where do you think you are?

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Nocturnal isn't that powerful bro

Maybe not in the old timeline, but with the power gained by breaking the curse, Nocturnal in the new timeline, is now.

Skyrim belongs to Jiub

Orc

Orsimer

They're a kind of elf. Shit elfs whose god was eaten by a Daedra than shat out.

Forever wandering some limbo ass pocket plane, totally senile

Why'd they have to do my boi like that? Justice for Jiub!

Fight shoulder to shoulder with your Argonian blood brother during the Great war

A few years after the war he shows up at your small farm as a big titty Lizard gf

Would it be gay? If so, how?

Pure cope made by orcs to secure pity from the people so they can make the orcish homeland for them instead of working for it.

The Hist says no

SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NERDS

wrong
it belongs to the redguards and their BBCs (Big Battle Cruisers)

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soul trap 1 second

Wut

That sounds like an allegory for transwomen.

I hate to break it to you but every Anon Babble meme you like was stolen from ifunny.co.

It's the source of all our memes.

NOOOOOO!

It was a trick, Trinimac tricked Boethiah! He secretly stole some of Boethiah's power when he was shat out! It's all a big work! Malacath is only pretending to be retarded! It was all his clever plan! He faked losing!

They're a kind of elf. Shit elfs whose god was eaten by a Daedra than shat out.

propaganda from the dark incels

w-well that doesn't count because i-its not actually the protag but a new sheo!

The mental gymnastics morrowind fags will go through to claim the shitelf reincarnation is the best protag ever.

Maybe if he turns back into a dude. That would be awkward to explain to the kids though.

"My dad could beat up your dad"

"My mom could beat up your mom"

he doesn't know

Ifunny was amazing just a few years ago, then the owners killed it by selling it to jeets and everyone moved to Instagram, which is why normies are starting to get exposed to all the noticing and george droid memes

I'm sure it does to you.

my mom can beat up your dad

Do you think fucking transwomen is gay, anon?

It is, just like futa.

You there. We are looking for someone in Whiterun, and will pay good money for information

Well you are wrong, bigot. Transwomen are women.

Sure my niggas, I know right were she is.

(I Killed both parties, got a valid question completion in my lo, was never penalized at all for it and always wondered if it was a bug)

don't you know that snitches get stitches anon?

Sure bro.

Chimer are just Altmer that decided to stop worshipping the Aedra and instead worship some Daedra

Chat are the Chimer/Dunmer retarded
Why would you ever worship a Daedra over the Divines

I-is the Nerevarine the baddy the whole time?

Skyrim belongs to the Borg.

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whatever they used in Lorerim is pretty amazing. The remodels are night & day and the animations are better. Only downer is Alduin doesn't look as unique.

woah slow down there buddy, you don't have to kill her. If there is one thing I know it is that violence is not necessary. You know if she bothers you so much you can just hand her over to me and I uhhh...will make sure to straighten her up and give her the proper punishment for being a naughty girl if you know what i mean.

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Why are you comparing a 100% biological reptile woman to a tranny?

You'll never be a real lizard, dude

sorry sir that's my lawful bedwench you cannot take her, as a true son of skyrim I would be remiss in not protecting my property

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just side with the empire bro xD

Reminder they never once give any proof to substantiate their claims

You see that cat-person over there? You can have sex with it.

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There is one example i've seen of an actual half breed and its in eso

Some nord married a dunmer noble woman and their kids are just nords with pointy ears

what does the offspring look like?

What a visionary

any enemy of the thalmor is a friend of mine

Argonian, the offspring keeps the mother's race
like with the grey prince

the point is they both say they are enemies of Thalmor

prettykitty.jpg

ESO is entirely non-canon

the opinion of two men

vs

the whining of one femoid

The evidence is clear

Why would you ever worship a Daedra over the Divines

Considering the Divines have an enormous and obvious favoritism towards Men the real question is why would any Elves EVER worship them to begin with?
Talos is a human, Kynareth is literally Shor/Lorkhan's wife, and their child Morihaus was sent specifically to aid mankind and fuck up the Ayleids because they were so terrible it offended even the Divines. Akatosh blessed the Imperial bloodline and granted them the Amulet of Kings, and you've regularly got Shezzarines showing up and completely BTFOing all pointy ears in sight like Pelinal and Ysgramor and the Last Dragonborn.

Meanwhile, Azura's afterlife is so beautiful and radiant it blinds unprepared onlookers who weep at its majesty, she goes full Old Testament in revenge against those who slight her favored champion Nerevar, and is biased towards her worshippers rather than categorically favoring men like the Divines. If you weren't a filthy n'wah or sucker falling for the Tribunal's ruse you'd have every reason to do what your ashlander tradwife does and venerate azura too over the other options

Post your favourite khajiit art

Actually since both parties refuse to be honest with you at all, killing them all is the right choice since you cannot confirm who is truly lying about the situation.

test

that brings up an interesting point. There is absolutely zero reason why Dovahkiin should side with the imperials and all the reasons in the world to hate them

the imperials tried to have him executed despite not getting the death sentence

the empire is controlled by the Thalmor shadow government who want to commit genocide on non-elves

the imperials self censor their own culture and rewrite history by trying to erase a god like the ultimate cucks they are

imperials try to deny that Ulfric is the rightful high king with "buh he used teh shout"

fuck the empire

the peak of nord humor

You failed

you dont know what mantling is blah blah blah

It's such a strange problem Bethesda created for themselves with letting the players take over as a daedric prince.

Yeah but Stormcloaks are racist.

That's only with Human and Elves. There are no documented Argonian/Human offspring.

The Oblivion remake has ESO lore added in, so based ESO has defeated you once again.

The opening is non-canon

Daedra actively help their worshippers
Aedra are kinda just there not really doing anything until some world ending calamity shows up and the death toll is in the millions.

Although i have a theory that you the player is supposed to be the aedric pantheon guiding the chosen one of whichever particular game because that's pretty much the only time they get involved

Killing a nice pair of tits because you are too stupid to tell who is right in that situation is completely ridiculous. Just think of how grateful she would be for you to not sell her out and then that is when you can swoop in and you know the rest

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There is documented Argonian/Human offspring, count Csaran and Sheen-in-Glade had a son that's stated in a book you can read in Oblivion

Mechanically yes, but lorewise he's the weakest.

It's a glitch, soultrap 1s cast at the ground will make every other effect attached to the same spell permanent.

I hate that you can join the Stormcloaks as an Altmer. An Altmer Dragonborn should have way more consequences than fucking nothing. It should have been used as an opportunity to do something cool with the concept.

Anon...

The only gripe I have with skyrim is the fact that I as the mc and literal saviour of the world can't ascend to the throne of skyrim. I started as nobody and ended as nobody but with godlike power

Its the same problem of 40k lore with like a hundred different writers with varying levels of lore knowledge

You do get to witness some canon events though as its set in 2e, AFAIK clavicus vile trying to steal vivec's divine power is mentioned in morrowind and its a quest in eso

Wrong, Skyrim belongs to the Elves.
Snow Elves/Falmer lived there before any men.
Dwemer and Chimer too.

Bretons are rape babies there hasn't been a moment where dark elves mass raped humans or vice-versa

Lore wise its probably Hero of Kvatch>The Dragonborn>Nerevarine

such as? The only significant thing I think would be necessary is some of the stormcloak soldiers tell you they are watching you and they don't trust you and have a random encounter where a stormcloak soldier tries to kill you over a misunderstanding.

Tits are temporary, justice by the sword is permanent. The choice is clear. Skyrim is for the Nords and I would rather all the Redguard cunts fall before I trust their tainted words, they are no better than Thalmor.

Considering the Divines have an enormous and obvious favoritism towards Men the real question is why would any Elves EVER worship them to begin with?

you have to remember that the Altmer have a very different story of how Nirn was created from just about everyone else
they see Lorkhan as a malicious liar who tricked the Divines out of their divinity when everyone else generally agrees that while he withheld some details about the full scope of his plan because letting out the full secret spoils the point of creating the world during Convention the Divines decided to continue regardless of the fact that they would give up a lot of their concentrated power after they found out what would happen to them because they saw merit in creating the world
the Ayelids and their Altmer successors essentially exist eternally spiteful of this notion and are known to lie in order to make themselves look like they're in the right like claiming to be the ones behind ending the Oblivion Crisis

Tits are permanent as they make babies

this drawing is so shit. Also Skyrim belongs to the Empire, bitch. Talos was Tiber Septim, an Imperial

Aedra have to maintain the fucking universe, some niggers having a personal problem among themselves is less important than the fucking seasons properly starting and plants properly growing and time fucking moving like it should and shit.

Dwemer vanished, but not before enslaving the falmer and making them into filthy trogoldytes

The Nedes took skyrim as rightful clay after BTFOing the chimer

If they wanted to keep it they shouldn't have let themselves be slaughtered like dogs

remake

Yeah non-canon, glad you agree

Because you'd have to mythopeically jizzrag the racial oversoul to the point of causing a rift in the "bound states". Otherwise the soul just takes on the mother's "form" as vessel (usually maybe but not for sure) with some "features" from the father

Tiber Septim was a breton.

Couse Dovahkin has IQ over 80

Babies are not born from tits, they do not explode out of tits like frog babies, you high as fuck skooma addicted retard.

Nobody named Tiber Septim is a Breton. Bretons are named gay medieval names. Tiber has a based Roman name

The remake is a Dragonbreak

The LDB is an "aspect" of Shor/Shezzarine (arguably all "prisoners" are) and you literally go and sit on his throne in Sovngarde (so it's another weird Tiber Septim deal going on)

tall amazon mommy argonian

short and athletic khajiit gf

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Tiber Septium was a redguard woman actually and will be featured in TESVI.

Das right! The HoonDing was also Tiber Septium.

If your soul is subsumed into a greater cosmic entity and your identity entirely erased, it really doesn't count much anymore.
If you want to count him, then fine, yes, he would technically be the strongest. Dragonborn is second by a large margin though, just having mastered bend will makes him almost untouchable.

because Todd is a godd

Oh right frogs do that not us humans. Thanks for tel reminding me

HoK is still somewhat present in Sheogorath judging from his dialogue

yeah....hick!

Bro looks like his best friend is a Redguard.

Can't become high king

Tentacle nigger wants you as a new pawn

Dumb failure of a cunt won't shut up about killing your dragon mentor

Only choices are to become a monk at the sausage party going on atop the Throat of the World, get friend-zoned as a blood sucking loser, or just fuck off into a permanent drug trip with your best pal Sanguine

There's really only one thing that is missing for me
Which Daedric prince is a brat that needs correction

Could the Dragonborn mantle Hermaeus Mora? If the Dragonborn is a shard of Akatosh and thus simply a demi-god rather than a mortal already mantled, it should work right?

Molag Bal

most racist Nord alive is surrounded by friends and family from different races

I like it

Namira

Sheogorath asked the HoK for help and made him into the new Sheogorath when he became Jyggalag, Mora never asked the LDB for help and never became something else so the LDB could step in and take its place.

Molag Bal.

Every game is a hmofa game if you just use a little bit of imagination. It's that easy™

Many such cases

Mora asked (even nicely asked) the LDB to kill Miraak, how is that not asking for help?

Turns out everyone is Nirn is racist, so when the most racist Nord is racist, everyone else has a laugh instead.

I can understand racism toward Khajiit but why are Argonians discriminated?

Every single lizard is a sleeper agent for an alien organism plotting to conquer the world. Being used as farm equipment is too good for them.

The worst you can say about khajiit is that they're druggie thieves, not an existential threat like arg*nians.

He could have done it himself and he does do it himself eventually, he's never forced to beg for help like Sheo was.

Sheogorath. He needs the cockiness fucked out of him

Nearly 50% of the lizards outside of lizard land are murders since birth

It's impossible to know if Sheogorath's begging wasn't performative.

Presumably because they're just totally alien to everyone else. They're native swamp lizards that the Hist uplifted, mutated, and ensouled, and their thought processes are very different from everyone else - all other races can claim descent from the Ehlnofey. Even if Argonians don't actively pursue antisocial activities like the Khajiit (drug-smuggling, theft, etc), they just look different and think differently.

Shag-orath

But enough about Bosmer.

They eat every other child before it hatches

Fucking savages, house telvani did nothing wrong

The Nerevarine is the strongest TES protagonist

Yes, the greatest son of Elsweyr

They look like beasts and have claws. Successfully integrated argonians (who are all female for some reason) are given the high position as fuck toys and professional racists.
youtu.be/NHaz7X8cjQI?si=cjxPrvR-sRZIeeKw

I love cat Nerevarine, those fucking darkie elves would never live it down. The greatest prank Azura could ever pull. Lizard Nerevarine is a bridge too far insisting on itself, but cat Nerevarine is perfect.

ifunny is our cooler older cousin who lives in another state

Aedra are kinda just there not really doing anything until some world ending calamity

And even then it's this man who does all the work

KINO

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i want her! she's pretty and still feels like skyrim

I actually spat my drink

You are correct. The Nerevarine has CHIM.

The bretons have always been a weird duck in TES because they're literally that generic. Kirkbride and his leftist mafia didn't want to touch them because they were too western european fantasy you see through every other setting and the daggerfal devs just wanted them to be as inoffensive as possible so they could be the first pick of a new player.

Now with both of these things put in place neither oblivion or skyrim devs know what to really do about them, few try to patch them up but until ESO they only have vague lore that hasn't been touched since daggerfall needed something to fill space. And even then it was only to characterize orcs and redguards.

install generic coomer mod

set chest size to 0

done

So you're saying I can just skip all that cringe romance slop if I just play dwarf?
Based wish this worked for BG3

I love all of the shit you TF fags makes, but I can never get into the actual fetishes

This meme is literally in the same vein as “Thanks Obama”. It’s just some liberal faggot way of “dunking” on white supremacists by calling them hypocrites.

western european fantasy

this all they need to be

hahahahahaha

Why use mods when the vanilla game itself is already full of bare tits and ass

no cat tits or ass in base game

Dunmer women belong to everyone.

Every protagonist has CHIM.

Except we know that the modern understanding of the divines as told by the imperial cults is a corrupted version of the ayelid version.

Shit just isn't verifiable. SOMETHING happened, but we can never be sure..

listen to stupid nord shit for 20 minutes

mercifully about to be executed

a fucking dragon shows up

now i have to listen to more nord retardation

it never ends

Just general discrimination against beastmen mostly. Like every race in TES they're flawed in some way or the other and that gives someone an edge over them socially for why they are permabad.

If you can understand any form of racism then you know why anyone is discriminated against.
It is because they are different from you. That's the whole point.

I don't think you understand how hard they went on the "Man in the shittiest renaissance fair skullcap and felt clothing to bucket helm and full plate" spectrum they went for western european fantasy.

They have nothing else and it sticks out next to the other races. Even reachmen are more unique.

they should put flags on posts in every board like in Anon Babble

Them being "generic medieval men" makes them unique in this setting of snowflake mary sue retards.

Argonians are even more alien than Khajit. Khajit are just elves that became cats thanks to Azurah and the Lunar Lattice whereas Argonians are freakish byproducts of the hist trees and can develop into a hivemind thanks to them.

They can't emote with their face in the same manner and men and mer which makes them come off as creeps. Also just the beastmen deal in general.

Also the Hist are weird and non-integrated Argonians inevitably have a very alien culture compared to their neighbors.

I mean for Skyrim, not Daggerfall, I assumed this was a Skyrim thread.

Not really since they're not that mary sue at all. So everyone is just bretons but different while bretons is just nothing in return.

ESO is as canon as Oblivion and Skyrim. You can either cry about it or ignore everything after Morrowind.

Skyrim retconned a bunch of bullshit anyways
I blame dragon bullshitery

Hes not half orc/imperial hes half orc and half vampire

unironically one of my go-to fantasies when im laying in bed. currently the closest is "creepy loner male gardevoir hunts and captures his own "trainer"". forces the trainer to become his "master", so theres some poor little trainer sho being dragged around town by this gardevoir and everyone knows whose actually wearing the pants even tho the gards roleplaying as hard as possible to act like the abused/badly taken care of slave of the sho trainer.

but this, thanks anon. "racist crazy nord" and "argnonian lusty maid wife". i can work with that, thats a new setting. im thinking just basically flip my above script onto this one. loser creepy outcast argonian wants a "big strong master nord" and goes out and kidnaps some weak, kinda pathetic nord and forces him to pretend to be some nasty racist nord beating the argonian...but everyone in town knows whose really wearing the pants....

yeah its weird but iunno, i like thinking about how this would work, and the mechanics and making it seem believable. guess i gotta learn some shit about fucking...skyrim, damn it.

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My wife.

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Is a nosy bitch

human women

They should be turned into the TES equivalent of Bretonnia. Just double down on their isolationist King Arthur vibe. Also their (merited) hatred of Orsimer since the Redguard seemed to have cooled off on that.

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vampire isn't a race

Not Oblivion's vampires at least. The pure-bloods in Skyrim's shittery are though.

The dumb tavern wench pulled a dagger on me and threatened to kill me, meanwhile these darkies were nothing but polite.

le speshual "vampyre lord" might be a race but not bitch ass vampire

If vampirism is a curse why is it inheritable? And at what point is it bred out?

I always turn her over, women are incredibly good at lying to get out of the consequences of their own actions.

Only vampire lords and daughters of Coldharbor. Harkon, Valerica, Serana, and technically you somewhat if you choose the vampire route (though Harkon and Valerica call you a halfbreed) are the only ones among the race of vampire and not just some disease like the rest in Skyrim

No, but with one parent being a vampire and one not, he's an orc with a partial vampirism.

bloodline curses are a thing

Here, you dropped this.

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You can blame that on the imperialization in Oblivion and Skyrim. Every Imperial Province is now generic and samey. Before, they where quite literally the only "generic medieval european" place on Tamriel.

Even if they aren't he still likely inherited some latent traits of vampirism basically becoming a psuedo Dhampir which along with already being a strong orc, contributes to why nobody has overcame him in the arena for over a decade.

In reality, It's Daedric magic. So they can bullshit anything.

Every arena match takes place in sunlight. He should be weaker not stronger if that were the case.

I never understood the Gray Prince's meltdown about learning he was half vampire. Like he obviously inherited some sort of supernatural strength but none of the downsides and somehow life is no longer worth living. Is it an Orc thing?

Dhampir are often not affected by the sunlight at all. His vampirism traits might just give him a bigger boost of strength and more vigor but doesn't get the full power of vampire strength, immunity to normal weapons etc.

Do vampires just never have sex then? They live basically forever, can still conceive and notable differences between pure and half vampires exist (Gray Prince doesn't burn). I feel that the entirety of Tamriel should be overtaken by an enemy that outbreeds them.

Imagine you lived life thinking you were 1/2 European and then found out you were actually 1/2 black in addition to being 1/2 poo

It's an honor and pride thing. Agronak gro-Malag always thought his bloodline carried an honorable nobility to it. Finding out that his father was actually a vile vampire shatters his previous perception and now thinks his blood is cursed not blessed. He only accepts your challenge and lets you kill him because he still wanted to die a hero in his mind and the minds of the audience who adored him.

wanted to die a hero

by standing still and not even pretending to put on a show

The audience and commentator react the same to killing him whether you tell him the truth or not so I just chalk it up to a gameplay thing rather than a narrative one (aka Todds a hack)

Daggerfall Bretons were in line with druids

I'm guessing they have sex a decent amount but possibly with other vampires or they simply kill their partner before they can conceive. Not outside the realm of possibility seeing how they're the spawn of the daedric prince of rape who also loves to brutalize his victims after tormenting them. Lord Lovidicus was definitely an outlier as he seemed to genuinely love his orc mistress before she turned on him.

SEX

WITH LIZARD WOMEN

Falmer are stated to be recovering from the damage the Dwemer did to their ancestors

Nords are weakened by a civil war and dragon attacks

Skyrim will return to the hands of her rightful children soon. Not really because Emil will never have anything happen that would change things up like that.

Oh wow druids!
Surely they did them anything different than boring nature wizards who actually just worship the nine divines right?

They're just becoming smarter, they're still permanently blinded.
But then it would be more interesting than "left handed elves"

surely imperials are more than le roman right?
surely altmer are more than le jews right?
surely dungmer are more than entitled niggers right?

Haha imagine having to see this haha

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Falmer are so uninteresting holy shit. Someone needs to genocide those snow niggers.

Imperials were literally just Romans in Morrowind, too, and that's the one everyone says is where the lore and worldbuilding peaked
They had Latin-y names, a legion, religious cults, and blatantly Roman armor for fuck's sake

desu I just want some more options for race in TESVI
give me furstocks and Chimeri-quey and Maormer and Imga and shit

Imga

What?

imga balls

gorilla-men from Valenwood

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Imgay

That's correct, vampire's don't have sex. They rape.

Why does Reman Cyrodiil lore have so much about his cum?

If you count Orcs as elves

They are elves though. They have pointy ears, weird skin colors, and are tribal like the wood elves. They're more elf than the bretons are human.

If Orcs are elves, then Gremlins are elves
Fucking Malakath-worshipping Goblin-kin spreading propaganda trying to weasel their way into being seen as true Mer

Wood elves aren't even really elves either
Fucking goo piles LARPing are not true Mer

Because that's not official lore, it's forum fanfiction from kirkbride that he posts with one hand on his cock that secondaries mistakenly believe is actual game material or canon (it's neither)
you're doing the equivalent of asking why somebody's discord kitten ERP logs are horny

If dunmer count as elves so too do Orcs

Modding my skyrim and planning on making a slutty Dragonborn and taking lewd pics and videos for myself and a gooner friend to jerk it to but he has criteria for the character

petite

blonde hair

two handed weapon user

What would be the best race to fulfill these criteria? I was thinking something like a tan-skinned bosmer with big ears, long hair and a big sword but I’m open to ideas

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