Let's make the most annoying game ever, one mechanic at a time

Let's make the most annoying game ever, one mechanic at a time

Money has weight

re ur last picture

annoying character who has the steal the show in every cutscene

weapons have durability without any way to fix them

Cars have traction control

unmoddable

core progression items are random drops from bosses. Their info is also greyed out in the menu so you have no clue what youre supposed to be looking for or what drops it

game is full of things to explore and see

but has a strict time limit

There's a stamina bar and even moving the camera drains it

Jump button does a roll instead

To do a simple jump you need to press multiple buttons at the right time while running but it still won't let you jump over obstacles

le crafting and scavenging for parts

Money having weight is actually a kino mechanic because then you get the old school tabletop D&D feeling of actually valuing ways to keep your money weight down like buying gems and jewellery since they're more "Value dense" than coins. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed that being a factor in Caves of Qud, and you're actually happy to find a jeweler in a town

your inventory bag has durability

There's black and gay people in it.

slow movement speed, large levels

Money has weight

You're filthy rich

Bosses are just bullet sponges and to progress you need to grind for hours just so you can pass the stat check

Negative mouse acceleration

cutscenes

silent protagonist, floating companion over your shoulder for the whole game who comments on everything constantly is written by Joss Whedon and voiced by Adam Conover

you have to spend in-game currency to do missions

I think it would be cool if there were banks but you had to risk losing some through bullshit taxes, or if you could instead save it in a chest/bag that you could put in a wagon/horse and risk getting robbed or crashing and losing your money

Hunger mechanic where you get burdened with increasing debuffs like slower movement and said debuffs start getting applied the moment you get even slightly hungry

every bossfight is QTE

boss fights have a timer to beat them, but their hp is scaled so poorly that unless you grind a ton they are literally unbeatable. Also add in a gacha stamina system to limit how much the player can grind per day

items have weight

items have durability

limited inventory space

You need to choose between charisma and gun skills, so you end up losing dialog if you want to fight well

End-tier items are just early-game items with higher stats, not even visual differences in any way

End-tier enemies are just early-game enemies with higher stats, not even visual differences in any way

Oh wait lmao that's 99% of modern games nowadays

first person tank controls

isn't that how it works irl

I can do you one better

weapons have durability

there's a way to fix them

but weapons are permanently destroyed if they run out of durability

no indicator of how much durability is left until the weapon is a couple hits from breaking

you need to shit/pee once in a while

your character will be affected by status effect in battle if you didn't

npc run speed is slower than your run speed

npc walk speed is faster than your walk speed

When I was a wee teen I was playing this chink MMO that had this, and also 'losing money and portion of your current exp bar to learn skills'.

You're heavily pregnant and in labor the entire time.

Might and Magic World of Xeen the banks outright have interest and there are no taxes or banking fees of any sort so it behooves you to constantly be banking as much of your gold and gems as you can since you'll want that shit later on. Doesn't ACTUALLY have weight on the money though, positive reinforcement for banking rather than the negative of weight. Would be cool if there was more risk and potential adventure with robbers going after your loot pile. That would even work as a money sink itself when the PC's obscenely wealthy, just having to spend money to protect the money

anon can't walk sideways irl

are you some kind of reverse crab?

Escort missions where the escort walks slower than your running speed but faster than your walking speed.

There is a time limit before the game automatically ends. There is no way to continue playing on that file past this limit.

No, i do the jason thing of turning my head into a direction and then moving into said direction

1. you have to put down the torch to use a weapon, you can't just switch hands or swap the torch for a weapon, you literally need to put the torch down to use it
2. guns can jam, and it happens frequently making almost every encounter completely RNG
3. any quick time event ever implemented in a game. dogshit baby mechanic.

the game punishes you for not taking damage

every tutorial, piece of dialogue or cutscene ends with the following

"Would you like me to repeat what I just said"

Yes

No

congrats, you retards made super hydlide

holy shit I think I'd genuinely rather just kill myself

this isn't actually too far off from a critical plot important item from knights in the nightmare because the chest it's in is rng, nothing in the game indicates this (nevermind knowing how to get to the boss in the first place lmao) and breaking the chests too hard permanently loses you the item, forcing you to reset

enemies that drain level

Need to refight every shit boss at least three times.

game has a huge skill tree

unlocking it requires grinding in between regular missions

half of the skills that you MUST pick are detrimental to your gameplay because they're not compatible

forced tutorials for side minigames not needed for any progression at all when encountered the first time

Intrusive hint system that can't be turned off

Made to order
youtu.be/p6Xu-OkIXVo?si=lUzTFikP2iyO6kpx

Best one so far

Look I never said there was one in fact I doubted it, but if someone knows about a timed underwater escort mission or 3 then I really want to know because that's annoying to the point of being entertaining in its own way
I don't come to this website for negativity, people are usually very nice to me on here

the run button is locked behind an item that wastes an equipment slot

Pull lever or push button to open door

EVERY time you do this there is a cutscene to show you the door slowly opening

Even if the lever is literally right next to the door

EVEN WORSE when your character model is missing from the clip opening the door despite you being literally right there

need to link your email, phone number, and social media account to finish the tutorial

full legal name required

shooting game

offer no toggle aim option

i hate how this is still happening today
it's three fucking lines of code

it will randomly switch order every time you mash through the text boxes

game has dynamic text so slow unskippable text boxes are necessary

half the dialog is ellipses

DOT

DOT

DOT

can't inflict status effects on bosses in an rpg

I didn't realize you could skip the door animation in luigi's mansion until my third playthrough

candles burn in real time even if you pause the game

Arrow has weight, the higher its tier the heavy every individual arrows get.

Manual blinking (think like in Alone in the Dark but make it even more annoying)

items are sold in stacks but you can only buy them one at a time (look at Clair Obscur for a perfect example)

going down hill has momentum mechanics

The momentum builds over time depending on the length and pitch of the hill

there's no way to break the momentum, you're just stuck with it.

Your character is too slow to go back up hill

animation picking loot

game starts you at 5% hp every reload with no quick way to refill health

Stamina has been a long time annoyance for me.

game is filled with red barrels in convenient locations near enemies

shooting them does nothing

game requires backtracking

game is full of rooms that require you kill all enemies to unlock

enemies respawn after you leave the room

unable to attack (protected identity)

Only way to save is through save checkpoints

The save points are randomly generated

You are stamina tied to them

It's an idea I conjured trying to only ruin the game experience for speedrunners.

Items must be used once for their effects and descriptions to become visible

They only unlock if you use the item succsessfully, good luck using the [PURPLE POTION] at just the correct affliction

saving requires a consumable item that takes up inventory space

you have limited inventory space

all actions are tied to a stamina meter that fully depletes per each individual button press, movement option, etc. and must regenerate to perform another action. this on top of another, overarching stamina meter that drains more steadily and incapacitates your character when empty.

unlimited saga

Every single boss forces a loss in the post-fight cutscene no matter how easy the fight actually was.

game has micro and macro nutrients that you need to maintain

failure to do so causes your character to suffer from debuffs

Game is openly woke

shhh stop noticing!

stay sleep!

Tank controls

stalker soc

multiple precision platforming sections, but the game either has Crash Bandicoot remake pillbox collision on your character so you keep sliding off platforms or every time you land from a jump you roll forwards

Health bar is blue

Stamina is red

Mana is green

remove sound settings to users

all sound is default 100%

Characters can forget how to reload randomly and fumble full mags onto the ground.

Majora's mask pls..

Eh, that's just like having extra lives with a max limit on lives you can get. Which can be really annoying depending what game it is.

wait
so you're saying you're woke now

That possum on the right is really big....

Thanks for the idea

game runs on a life system

lives are an inventory item with a maximum limit per stack

you have a limited inventory

Add several yes/no prompts, and just as many "are you sure?" prompts, each with a different default cursor position

You have completed the mission, would you like to exit the dungeon?

yes <---

no

Do you really want to leave?

yes

no <---

game's name is expedition 33

thats brilliant

Regular enemies can stun or knock you down

There's no diminishing returns

You can destroy treasure chest

Fuck Rune Factory for this.

Weapon durability is tied to the frame rate

You have to wait real world hours to get resources to craft consumable items

X,A,Y,B control the camera. D-pad to move (in 3D). Actions are bound to both sticks.

Holding down the bumpers changes the bound actions, except for the one you desperately wish wasn't on the controller in the first place.

and

1. Your torch reveals hidden secrets

2. It takes forever for the animation to pull it out and light it to finish

3. You can't skip the animation, even if you know where the secret is

4. The best item in the game requires you to open 3 unrelated hidden chests very early on for a small chance of getting it

need to go through multiple prompts to confirm things

but pressing no once in any of them instantly cancels all of them

Sidekick has MCU-tier dialogue and no option to shut them up

mc comments his every action in a quirky way at least once per minute

you can't disable his blabbery

Sir this is a blue board. You cant just post disgusting stuff like that...

after like 5 or 6 of this in a row add something crucial like "delete tour save files" or "destroy the quest/rare item" to fuck with those spamming "yes"

every action lowers the hunger meters

very little food can be found outside of the base

most of the food has to be gained through a fishing minigame

also there's an exhaustion meter you can only refill by sleeping

second-person

try to go in the options menu to tweak some things

can't

the options are locked behind in-game items

every setting has its own item

you don't get them at the same place/time

you can permanently miss them

they are single-use

Both saves and lives on a limited inventory? Now that is a pain for sure, but not for a spastic, backwards jumping speedrunner. They wouldn't collect either and I want the suffering equal or equitable to them in the form of random checkpoint chaos.

What makes you think you have to collect lives instead of them just showing up in your inventory?

there's a pop-up prompt before interacting with any object

pointer defaults to no

As an indie gamedev I just found out why Pillbox Collision shouldn't be used in platformers lol that sounds annoying af

default controls for the game are unintuitive and uncomfortable

you can change them

but once in a while for no apparent reason the game will reset the controls

accidentally complete a row

your loot is gone

Every step has a 10% chance to create a black hole that sends you back at least 10 steps. Giving you the illusion of progress.

You could just max your inventory out unless the mechanic replaces an item at random.

default movement is walking

running requires stamina

uses stamina faster the more you're carrying

you run faster than NPCs, you walk slower than NPCs, there's loads of escort and follow NPC related quests. NPC stops moving if you move a short distance away from them. NPCs chase enemies before they continue pathing.

Stamina only regenerates when you're not moving with a delay, draining stamina completely puts you into exhaustion which delays regen further. Doing anything without stamina resets the regen delay but doesnt do the action.

Regenerating stamina consumes both a food and sleep meter, you can only sleep and prepare meals in your home base area.

Food spoils over time and can't be stored, you can farm food but it decays once grown and not harvested, it takes a full day to grow and you have to water it constantly or it dies. Plants are fully consumed when harvesting and you have to buy seeds and soil each time to replace it

jumping without enough stamina makes you jump a faction of the distance

when you die the game resets enemies but any consumables you used are still gone.

your illumination items are held in hand and prevent you from using a weapon at the same time, all enemies can see you in the dark

quest items have weight but cant be removed from inventory and dont start their affiliated quests

loads of "your inventory is taken" quests that unequips all your items and hotbars and put them in a chest, the chest is easy to miss, the area with the chest is permanently closed off after completing the mission but its not clear when.

You get discovered if a companion is seen, they always follow just behind you an repeat the same voice lines quips constantly. >Companions take all the items they're carrying and leave if you dont pick the right dialogue. Only way to increase their loyalty is gifting them expensive items.

Enemies can knock your equipped weapons out of your hands with physics properties so they go flying off or fall into voids. There's no way to show interactable items on the floor.

to restore stamina you need to stand still

item resurrects you if you die

but you have to be holding it in your offhand

You can only increase your inventory slots by completing multiple baby puzzles spread out on an empty vast plain

no mention of survival mechanics

The bars not even off the ground and you still fail.

you can't sleep with enemies around

radius is so big you can't find the enemies

I don't even acknowledge the offhand save for when I finally get these. There is literally no use for it other than having one more inventory slot. Oh right Iand for being a post-based era minecraft shield cuck.

Physics are so floty it's hard to be near or stand next to any ledge

Turn speed where you slide a bit when turning because of the ice-physics on everything

Jumping has a delay

Landing from a jump pauses you for a second as you hit the ground and get back up and it's much slower than walking, let alone running

enemies can throw grenades

if they use their grenade it disappears from their lootable inventory

this third-person game is full of interesting scenery, but when you are driving/riding the camera will always auto-correct to frontward after a few seconds, so you'll always be fighting the camera if you want to gaze around during the long journeys

enemies have really low weapon durability (10 or so swings) and their weapons are worth much less and only have one hit left after almost every fight

enemies have a backup weapon that only costs 1 of the in-game currency that has infinite durability which is inventory filler and not worth picking up and weighs a lot

You just described Thief Deadly Shadows.

I thought I was describing a shit Unity game lol

LMAO

unskippable 2.5 second animation every time you open a menu

enemies drop either money or exp, never both

saving and fast travel require consumable items

party members have their own schedules and can only go adventuring with you on specific days that never align

party members also have to be paid for their work, and will ditch you on the spot if you can't afford them

ok, lets just start with the final dungeon in FF8 and somehow try to make it worse.

hmm, "complete a row" and you can carry more but it takes more time to unpack. Please for the love of god don't tell the PZ dev about this idea

enemies can pickpocket your money and items

can't loot them back after they die

good party members leave if you do evil things, evil party members leave if you do good things

the majority of available party members are good or neutral, so there's no balance to this system

on occasion it will make sense for an evil character to do an apparently "good" if he profits by it in some way, but there are no dialogue options to explain the decision to your evil party members, and so you lose rep with them

I thought this feature was kewl when I first played the BG games, but I now see it as an annoyance that limits the potential for variety on subsequent playthroughs.

Collecting all of a certain collectable is needed for the best ending.

These collectables are introduced to the player only after one of them already has become a missable.

Traders by default give you 25% of value and sell for 200%. Items are sold and bought immediately when you click them in the trading menu with no buybacks. Theres a relationship meter which slowly fills by buying from the vendor but each one has their own meter. Traders dont reset or change their cash or item inventory.

Game has automatic fines and taxes and you currency can go into negative.

You have to collect points from hidden obelisks on the map to level up, there are hundreds, they are not marked on the map when you find one, there is no way to tell if the obelisk has been used until you interact with it. Some obelisks only spawn in certain areas under certain hidden conditions or after completing objectives. If you miss obelisks in certain areas they are inaccessible forever.

Game has many areas that are accessible by convoluted or unintuitive puzzles half the time and locked until a quest is activated the rest of the time with no indication.

Game is full of "doors locked from one side" shortcuts but 30% of all locked doors are just locked with nothing on the other side.

improving relations with 1 faction always reduces relations with multiple other factions by a greater amount, they all have unique areas and traders that wont interact or become hostile below neutral.

Game gives you cool unique items that cant be repaired or are taken away at the end of the quest. NPCs demand cool items to complete quests, the rewards are randomly generated and almost always worse than the item.

Quests require you to expend resources and spend currency to complete them, then give less than what you paid as a reward

Everything in game is based on RNG dicerolls but all values are all hidden paired with a save system that only works at your base. You only get 1 save.

really good unique weapons/armor/items can be missed with no chances to go back and get them

quest rewards and enemies do not scale with your level at all

the game is designed around doing almost zero side quests on the first run or you will significantly out level the content and will 1-2 hit enemies

The worst part is that more and more games are including RPG mechanics and new game+ and have a design like this.

unique weapons have stats tied to your level that lock in when the quest starts and if you get them early they're permanently nerfed.

You only get max level at the very end of the game once everything is done

The game gives you special weapons to fight the final boss, they're the only weapons that can damage him.

There's no continue or NG+

enemy pickpockets your most useful items

have to turn back fucking time to get them back

Nobody buys it back from the pawn shop, idc how casual they claim they are.

FOV slider maxes out at 85

No button remapping

Mono sound only

Subtitle font is ugly and dialogue doesn't always match, also it's on hearing disability mode so get ready for [explosion] and [calm music]

Story is "subversive"

QTA button mashing

Gameplay mode keeps changing, but none of the modes are interesting or well developed

One of them is an uneventful autoscroller

Invisible unavoilable boss trigger just before save/rest point

Said boss deals damage scaling from your missing mana and it's damage gets higher the more healing items you have in your inventory

Immersion breaking product placements

Important questline NPC that is very easy to miss

To be able to respec, you have to find a small statue on small town behind a hill you wouldn't know, and the game only tells you about it if you try tanking damage on certain spot in the game for unlock but giving up in middle of it rather than seeing if you can tank it all because the respawn is right next to the tanking spot fuck you BotW and your "le free exploration open world" shit I missed Hestu too because I dared to climb over a mountain to Kakariko rather than following the developer placed CORRECT path to find him

Weapon durability without ability to fix them

Humor you know will age in few years, it isn't even funny now

Developer is so obnoxious you have hard time separating them from your gaming experience

Said dev patches fun glitches from the singleplayer game

>Game is full of "doors locked from one side" shortcuts but 30% of all locked doors are just locked with nothing on the other side.

I fucking hate this. Suck my dick Abiotic Factor. I wasted hours trying to find my way into rooms that dont exist

true final dungeon/boss and best ending are locked behind innocuous cryptic bullshit like picking up an item in your house at the start of the game or getting a specific drink at a bar

most if not all of it is permanently missable

>You have to collect points from hidden obelisks on the map to level up

this is the gayest shit in the world
TESO has the worst fucking iteration of this because it's an MMO and they're only tied to each character so if you want maximum skill points you have to get 3 of them from every zone in the fucking game

Which is worse?

all gear is level locked, so even if you run ahead and try to kill powerful enemies for better gear, you'll get loot you cant even use till level up a ton

or

all loot is based on your level, so even if you run ahead and kill powerful enemies, you'll still get "Shitty Pointy Stick" as a drop instead of "Sharp Longsword"

if the enemy steals more money than you have you go into negative money

have to talk to NPCs to advance their quests and get the best endings

you have to exhaust their dialogue then move to the next area for them to teleport to the next zone

but...they dont get certain dialogue options until you meet special hidden conditions

and...if you miss them/dont exhaust the dialogue at a previous location they dont move to the next and disappear forever

these NPCs also give the best items

Germans would be ecstatic for such gameplay

id rather have a cool thing thats gated by stats or my level than get rewards that fucking suck dick.

Souls games are perfect, the item is the item, enemies are the enemies, areas are as easy or hard as you are prepared for them.

Playing Abiotic Factor with friends

they can't be fucked doing the toilet minigame

they just shit their pants every time and ignore the smelly stealth debuff

have the play the entire game with every enemy aggroing to us constantly

the running joke in the server is putting poo in the soup

Were never making it to reactors

What if all items were scaled to your level but not random drops, such that you could potentially screw yourself out of really good items by getting them too early and ending up with weakened low level versions of them?

FF9 does this with the Mognet shit. Some of the mogs are hidden in areas that you're permanently locked out of after leaving.

ally swaps sides in battle

uses the items you gave them

'your' items break while fighting them so you don't get them back

I went to PAX and got into the closed alpha or beta or whatever and didn't even bother
Unrealslop can suck my dick

All weapons are lvl based, even quests loot. So you get legendary big sword lvl1, which is worse than dull wooden sword lvl5.

game has many branching paths to optional stuff

picking the progression path locks you out of the other one

there is no indication which one is progression

Bonus points for only being able to restart from the beginning of the level

Far Cry 2

Every 10 seconds, there's a 1 in 50,000 chance of you randomly being given a fishing minigame. If you fail, your max HP is reduced by 50% for 5 real world days. If you attempt to change your system time to subvert this, your save is corrupted

path to an optional content sometimes looks wide and fancy like there's something important waiting for you

main content path is located by an unassuming door

you can't save manually

there's only autosave that rewrites the single save slot

sometimes the game will autosave mid battle when the player has low hp

written by Nomura

the player has malaria

game has a scoring system based on several categories

one category is how many enemies you killed

there are never enough enemies in the level for the best ranking unless you sit around pointlessly spawn camping them for several minutes

another category is how fast you completed the level

literally every gacha game ever

games actually really good

if you were to make an otherwise decent and normal game but HAD to use that as a troll, where and how would you put it so it would not just be completely "lol randumb trol xdddd"?

I will never understand this gripe about botw. you're meant to cycle through the abundant weapons you find and it works.

bonus:

when you reload/spawn theres several seconds of fading from black where enemies and the world are active before the player gets control.

you can die in this state.

base money is coin that has weight

can trade in coins for bank notes

SOVL

you can only access the options after you finish the tutorial

enemy is a higher level than you so your damage against them is massively reduced

Enemy is the game

game has no saves

jump and interact button are the same

camera is in a fixed position from the targeted enemy's point of view

Have two ammo types in the game, military and home made

The military ammo is also used as currency

If you run out of home made ammo the game automatically loads a magazine with your military ammo with almost no indication.

I completely forgot this guy even existed. Is he still alive?

damage linked to weapon durability

game currency has rampant inflation

would you like to exit the dungeon?

Yes

(No)

Are you sure you want to exit?

(Exit)

Confirm

Unsaved progress will be lost, still exit?

Exit

(Cancel)

This door is locked

(Ok)

people feel bad when they find a cool sword, it only lasts for a couple fights, and then they're back to the dumb bone weapons. They don't think about it in the context of gameplay balance or how the mechanics interact with the world.
they probably also aren't autistic and do the korok's autism challenges for more inventory limit. The base limit is fairly restrictive.

unbeatable boss but also doesn't immediately kick your ass

game has keys

Keys have repeating names like "large key" and "rusty key"

You have to manually select a key to use it in the door

some keys open multiple doors and you need to keep them

some keys are only used once

keys stay in your inventory unless you toss them

inventory is ordered alphabetically and cant be changed

keys have weight

Inventory space has that tetris ass block system

you have to reach stage 4 before cutscene of him defeating you finally activates

losing before that leads to game over

Dead Rising will forever be dogshit solely because of this

Soulssisters...

In old D&D money was the basics of the currency for all item weights. How many coins you may ask? Well its 1lbs x 100. The amount you can carry is based upon how many coins you can carry, the weight of the character is how many coins the character would weight and so on. At least its not being that retarded.

boring lockpicking/hacking minigames that come up constantly and take way too long

every combat encounter has enemies that infinitely spawn more enemies

enemies get knocked over when you hit them, but you can't hit them while they're down and they take several seconds to get back up so you have to keep waiting for them to get back up

Im kind of in the middle, didn't bother me but I dont think it was a good mechanic either

very little gold early game

buying items is relevant

showered in gold lategame

nothing is worth buying

hints popups that pause the game

hints are useless and repeat themselves

Kino

if you commit a crime you have to go through an entire legal process and if you are found guilty you have to sit in prison for the whole actual sentence time with no way to skip it

annoying joke character also tries to be the sad boy character

fans eat up totally unearned characterization because they don't understand basic writing practices

pic related

you have to join a prison gang to survive

KINO

WHY IS THIS SO COMMON FUCK

I turned myself into a turtle Jojo
Im Turtle Jean Pierre Polnareeeeeff

This is just Oblivion in a nutshell

game features a weapon or gun store with hundreds of good looking weapons on display but the actual shop inventory is barren as fuck and weapons on display are not in the game

manual breathing mechanic